10 reasons your friends should know about Happiness Weekly
For pleasure has no relish unless we share it. Virginia Woolf
1. You can contact the author (Sarah) easily and you’ll get a response!
One thing Happiness Weekly has is a highly interactive comments feed. If you comment or ask for advice, you will generally receive a response from me quite quickly. Contacting me, Sarah (founder and chief blogger for Happiness Weekly) is easy:
– Find me on Twitter @HappinessWeekly or
– Find my page on Facebook:
– Email me –
– Comment on my blog – I’ll receive it straight away and will respond if requested.
2. It’s more interactive than any other blog: request a blog or ask for advice
Have a suggestion for a blog? Got a problem you can’t a positive solution to? Contact me through any of the above means and I will do my best to publish an article on it in the near future. It doesn’t matter how whacky or strange your suggestion is, all ideas are welcome. Maybe you’re in a sticky situation and looking for advice on how you can maintain your wellbeing and respect others in certain situations. Personal content will not be shared and all enquiries can be anonymous but I will respond to you as soon as possible.
3. It’s a great source for events and courses
Find the best self-empowering and self-motivating courses lead by inspirational teachers on the Happiness Weekly website. Most of the courses are Australian-based at the moment but I am updating this to give it a stronger global appeal as a lot of my readers are from the United States and the United Kingdom. This page is my way of thanking readers and making it easier to connect people with proactive positive activities around the world. If you have an idea for a course or would like to add something – posting is free, please email , with the details and I’ll update the information as soon as possible.
4. Be in the know of all awareness days
Happiness Weekly includes the Internet’s most comprehensive awareness calendar! Most of these dates are celebrated internationally. In 2013 the blogs will become more strategically aligned and meaningful as Happiness Weekly continues to grow. If you know of some more awareness days and dates that aren’t on the calendar – posting is free, please contact with the details and I’ll update the calendar as soon as possible.
5. Regular blog posts – it’s my promise!
One thing Happiness Weekly promises is that you will receive a highly comprehensive blog on a different topic each week. To receive it in your email inbox, please make sure you subscribe to the blog on the homepage, alternatively like my page on Facebook or follow my Twitter feed for regular updates via social media. Blogs are generally posted at the start of the week, so keep an eye out every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday to see the latest from Happiness Weekly!
6. Receive weekly inspiring, thought-provoking and motivational quotes
Happiness Weekly releases a positive quote to think about each week via its social media pages: and . It is not necessarily related to the blog or any particular topic, but is generally something that everyone can relate to. That’s one of the best things about Happiness Weekly – not only is everyone welcome and everyone can contribute and have their say openly, but everyone is made to feel welcome as they can relate to everything posted.
7. Learn something new
It’s likely that you will learn something new every week – and why not share this knowledge with your friends, family and colleagues! The topics that Happiness Weekly posts about are extremely thoroughly researched to receive the best tips and guidance on each. The advice is proactive and simple for everyone to try. If you think I’ve missed anything or have something to add, please leave a comment. All blog-related comments are welcome on the Happiness Weekly page!
8. Expand your friendship circle with better communication
By sharing the Happiness Weekly website with your friends, it’s not only likely that your communication will improve but you will improve the communication of your friends around you. This will inevitably provide a shift as everyone is able to express their thoughts and feelings clearly and so your friendship circle will naturally develop and grow and you will naturally encourage new people into your life. Happiness Weekly is also a great conversation starter: it contains topics and information that are worthwhile sharing with your new and old friends.
9. Encourage the continuation of Happiness Weekly
The more popular Happiness Weekly becomes, the more likely it will be to continue. While the writing-style may come across as easy to follow, a lot of time and planning goes into the blogs published by Happiness Weekly which is produced by a single person. The purpose of Happiness Weekly is not to raise revenue but to simply give back to the world in a way that promotes happiness and wellbeing – because it’s not hard to be happy, but knowing how to communicate effectively and respecting others is important. If you have enjoyed a blog by Happiness Weekly, you can show your appreciation and support by simply clicking “like” in the comments field.
10. Sharing is all about helping others
Now it’s your chance to give back to the universe and pay it forward. Tell your friends about Happiness Weekly by getting them to check out the website: happinessweekly.org! Share some blog posts on your Facebook pages, repost quotes on Facebook or retweet through Twitter. Spread the word to your community and encourage them to pass it on. Help Happiness Weekly grow so we can all live in a happier and healthier world that actively promotes self-awareness, encourages fair and assertive communication and enables everyone to make the best choices they can in their situation.
Colour psychology and what your wardrobe reveals about you
Before you choose your outfit for the day, think about how you want other people to see you and interpret your personality … your clothes say far more than you think. Bridget Allen, senior fashion expert.
Socially everyone selects something of choice to wear from their wardrobe, but generally no further thought is taken other than if it looks good and feels comfortable. A picture is worth a thousand words, but 99% of that description is about the colour of that picture. Colour psychology is concerned with how certain colours effect emotions, perceptions and reactions.
According to Adam D Galinksy, a professor at the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, “clothing affects how other people perceive us as well as how we think about ourselves”. Leave your inner fashionista behind, this week Happiness Weekly takes a practical look at what the colours in your wardrobe are really saying about you!
Colours at work
Black symbolises power and sophistication, but is also the colour of the secretive unknown creating an air of mystery. Some use it to hide their weight, others use it to hide their fears and insecurities. Black provides comfort while protecting emotional feelings and vulnerabilities. It symbolises control, hanging on to information and things rather than giving out to others. It radiates authority, but creates fear in the process. People that wear black are self-controlled and disciplined, independent and strong-willed but give an impression of authority and power. Affluent and success-orientated women often choose to wear black as it gives an impression of elegance, sophistication and confidence. It’s a great colour for trousers, jackets or shirts – it is recommended that you break it up with other colours.
Yellow can be seen as cheery and warm, it is the colour of mind, intellect and acquired knowledge. Uplifting and illuminating, it offers hope, happiness, cheerfulness and fun. Yellow inspires inquisitiveness and original thought. People that like yellow are generally great communicators and love to talk – particularly suitable to networkers, journalists and people that work in Public Relations. It is linked to clarity of thought and ideas which aids with decision making, focus and study, and recalling information. Yellow should be limited to accessories such as ties or necklaces because it can be impulsive and cause anxiety. More information about yellow and its variations is available here.
Gold is the colour of success, achievement and triumph. It is associated with abundance, prosperity, luxury, quality, prestige and sophistication. Valuable and elegant, gold implies affluence, material wealth and extravagance. Linked to masculine energy and the power of the sun – it is confident, passionate and eye-catching.
White is associated with purity, innocence, wholeness, completion and serenity. Cleanliness personified, the colour white is the colour for new beginnings and the ultimate purity which is why western brides and doctors wear it. The colour of protection and encouragement, white offers a sense of peace and calm, comfort and hope, and helps alleviate emotional upsets. It creates a sense of order and efficiency – great for inspiration if you wish to unclutter your life. Too much white can be cold, isolating, empty and bland. It implies a feeling of sterility, detachment and disinterest, providing little stimulation for the senses. Wear it sparingly, white is the classic colour for an office shirt because it provides a good background for the statement colour of a tie.
Silver has a feminine energy and is associated with the moon – it is fluid, emotional, sensitive and mysterious. Reflective and sensitive, silver inspires intuition, clairvoyance and mental telepathy. It is also associated with prestige and wealth as it is seen as glamorous, sophisticated, prosperous and modern. People that wear silver are respectable, courteous, dignified, self-controlled, responsible, patient, determined and organised. It resonates well in the corporate world to those in positions of responsibility (males and females).
Grey is the colour of compromise – it is neutral and detached. The closer it gets to black, the more dramatic and mysterious it becomes, but the closer it gets to white or silver, the more illuminating and lively it becomes. People that wear grey are generally subdued, quiet and reserved. Conformists, they are conventional, dependable and practical. Too much grey creates sadness and depression and a tendency to loneliness and isolation. More information about grey and its variations is available here.
Purple is a colour of imagination and spirituality, historically associated with luxury, wealth and royalty. It represents the future. Purple inspires unconditional and selfless love, and enhances psychic ability and spiritual enlightenment. It promotes harmony of the mind and emotions, contributing to mental balance and stability, and peace of mind. Violet is the colour of humanitarian, using its better judgement to do good for others, combining wisdom and power with sensitivity and humility. People that wear purple have an element of power as it demands respect. They are ambitious and self-assured leaders. Purple is difficult colour to pull off because it requires confidence to wear successfully. More information about purple, and its variations, is available here.
Indigo, the colour of intuition, perception and the higher mind. It promotes deep concentration during meditation. Powerful and dignified, it conveys integrity and deep serenity. People that love the colour indigo conform to things that have worked in the past, while planning for the future. It stimulates the right brain and helps with spatial skills.
Red is the colour of energy, passion and action. It exudes a strong and powerful masculine energy, it excites the emotions and motivates us to take action. Red is a powerful colour: it is a symbol for leadership, assertiveness, confidence, ambition and determination. Too much red can cause irritation, agitation, aggression and anger. In China it is the colour for good luck, in India it is the colour for purity and is often used in their wedding gowns. Red is a great colour to wear to negotiations, meetings and sales pitches. More information about the colour red, and its variations, is available here.
Brown symbolises age and maturity. It is serious, down-to earth and relates to security, protection and material wealth. People that wear brown take their obligations seriously and encourage a strong need for security and a sense of belonging. They feel that family and friends are of utmost importance, are honest, genuine and sincere – though can be stingy with money. They are trustworthy, reliable, loyal, dependable, practical and realistic. The colour of structure, it encourages orderliness, uniformity and organisation. It is reassuring and quietly confident. Wearing this colour can make you appear wise. It is a popular colour with teachers and academics because it inspires feelings of respect in a subtle manner as opposed to aggressively asserting respect like red or purple. Wearing too much brown can make you look stuffy or old fashioned. More information about brown and its variations is available here.
Blue is a calming colour that inspires serenity, trust and responsibility. Honest and loyal, this colour is reliable, sincere, reserved and quiet. It promotes mental and physical relaxation, reducing stress. In fact, the paler the shade of blue, the more freedom we feel. People that love blue define success as quality and quantity of relationships, they give more than receive and build strong, trusting relationships. They become deeply hurt if betrayed. Conservative and predictable, blue is safe, non-threatening, but persistent and determined to succeed. Wear blue when you need to give important news in a meeting but break it up with other colours if you are delivering bad news. More information about blue and its variations is available here.
Turquoise represents open communication and clarity of thought. It controls and heals the emotions creating emotional balance and stability. The colour turquoise recharges our spirits during times of mental stress and tiredness, alleviating feelings of loneliness. It increases creativity and sensitivity. People that wear turquoise are generally good at multi-tasking and are very caring. Turquoise also encourages us to build self-esteem and be self-sufficient. More information about turquoise and its variations is available here.
Orange radiates warmth and happiness. It is the colour of adventure, risk-taking and social communication. Orange offers emotional strength, it is optimistic and uplifting, and promotes spontaneity and a positive outlook. It inspires physical confidence, competition, independence, and aids in putting new ideas into action, banishing limitations. It encourages self-respect and respect of others. A great colour for accessories, orange prevents other colours from becoming overbearing. More information about orange and its variations is available here.
Green is the colour of harmony, growth and balance (creating equilibrium between the head and the heart). It is a natural peacemaker and an emotionally positive colour, encouraging us to love and nurture ourselves and others unconditionally. People that wear green enjoy observing and listening and have good judgement. They are generally inviting, generous, friendly and can keep confidences but also tend to look for recognition. A great colour for women’s dresses, it is also the ideal colour for accessories. More information about green and its variations is available here.
Pink is associated with femininity, unconditional love and romance. It represents compassion and nurturing. People that wear pink are intuitive and insightful and demonstrate tenderness, kindness, empathy and sensitivity. It is the colour of hope and good health. Pink calms and reassures our emotional energies, alleviating feelings of anger, aggression, resentment, abandonment and neglect. A non-threatening colour, people that love pink seek appreciation, respect and admiration. It is a great colour for items you will wear briefly but you can remove for the bulk of the day e.g. jackets and bags. More information about pink and its variations is available here.
Magenta is the universal colour for harmony and emotional balance. People that wear magenta are generally spiritual (yet practical), encouraging, have good common sense and a balanced outlook on life. Magenta strengthens our intuition and psychic ability while assisting to rise above daily obstacles and gain awareness and knowledge. An instrument of change and transformation, magenta aids us in moving forward, helping to release old emotional patterns that prevent personal and spiritual development. It is uplifting to our spirits during times of unhappiness, anger and frustration. Magenta is the colour of cheerfulness, happiness, contentment and appreciation for what you have acquired and achieved. Magenta is spontaneous and impulsive, yet resourceful and organised.
Speedy wardrobe colour tips
* Blue establishes trust and credibility. It is a safe colour and universally liked by most men and women.
* To appear friendly and approachable, wear lighter colours such as mid-tone blues, greens, blue-greens, teal, tan and peachy-orange.
* To get noticed or appear assertive, wear red (but note, it can be threatening).
* To appear confident, blue-green is a good business colour for women, it suggests high self-esteem, confidence but is still friendly and approachable.
* To show dependability, wear green.
* To appear neutral wear grey or beige. You may look like a fence-sitter, but it enables you to say what a client wants to hear rather than the truth.
* To look professional with authority, wear dark blue or dark grey. It’s great for credibility when promoting your business.
* To shock or inspire your audience, wear a magenta suit … with a matching top hat and cane!
* Earth tones (dark orange, mid-brown, light yellow, beige, tan or caramel) are seen as reliable.
Fast facts on colour psychology
– Teenagers often have a psychological need to wear black during the stage of transition from the innocence of childhood to the sophistication of adulthood. It enables them to hide from the world while they discover their own unique identity.
– According to Dr Jennifer Baumgartner, who wrote “You are what you wear: what your clothes reveal about you”, what you wear can inform people passing you in the street of your type of employment, ambitions, emotions and spending habits. “Shopping and spending behaviours often come from internal motivations such as emotions, experiences and culture,” she said.
– A study from Northwestern University examined the concept “enclothed cognition”. Researchers define it in their report as “the systematic influence that clothes have on the wearer’s psychological processes,” meaning what clothes say to you, rather than about you. How they make you feel, not just how they make you act and react.
– Women react more positively to blue-based colours, such as deep blue-reds, most blues, most pinks and blue-greens. Men find yellow-based colours more attractive. They appreciate true reds and oranges, peachy-apricots and most blues.
– Colours also enhance our culinary experience. Red is the most prominent colour in fast food logos because it stimulates appetite and expresses the speed at which you will be served your meal. Blue decreases appetite – however, people are more likely to drink from a blue glass than a red glass. Orange also assists with stimulating appetite.
– Trying to lose weight? Dieticians recommend eating off a blue plate as it suppresses appetite.
14 tricks to self-empowerment
Some men have thousands of reasons why they cannot do what they want to, when all they need is one reason why they can. Martha Graham
Empowering yourself can sometimes seem particularly difficult, especially if we have suffered a battering to our confidence in recent times. Self-empowerment is interrelated with the way you conduct yourself, the image you project to others and the way you improve yourself. This list of tips and tricks will help you empower yourself and those around you in no time – because often the hardest part of self-empowerment is knowing where to start!
Know what you want
You need to know what you want in order to receive it. Sometimes it may feel like a process of elimination – we all know what we don’t want – but that isn’t getting you much closer to what you do want. It is worth sitting down and finding out what you want (brainstorm a list) to give you a clear understanding of your direction.
Discover your barriers
Find out what is blocking you from getting what you want. Listen carefully to your self-talk – you could be blocking yourself. Does it fit into the following catagories: mixed doubts, limiting beliefs, attachments (giving up something to receive it), resources? If so, what can you do about it?
Eliminate your doubts
One thing you have complete control over is your doubts – which is part of your self-talk. Visualisation may help with this. Tap into your senses and hear, see, feel, smell, touch and taste what it is like to achieve what you are after. Focus particularly on the sounds and colours. If achieving your goal isn’t satisfying you fully, make adjustments and use this visualisation technique again to test it and help eliminate all doubts.
Banish limiting beliefs
Another thing you can control is your limiting beliefs – however it can be difficult because these beliefs may have been with you since childhood and are now considered “core beliefs”. Limiting beliefs are often there as a protective mechanism from something that caused hurt in the past. If you can identify a limiting belief, figure out whether or not it is useful and what you would rather change the belief to, and work to change it or replace its intention (e.g. to keep you safe) with something healthy, and continue to work to achieve your goal. If you struggle with limiting beliefs, Schema Therapy may particularly helpful for you – see if you can join a local workshop to learn more!
Focus on your agenda
There’s a universal agenda among humans (and animals) and that is to maximise happiness and minimise suffering but everyone has their own strategies and not all are successful. Even those than appear unhappy are getting something positive from their misery, or they would have moved on. Unhealthy habits are usually initiated because a challenge appears too great. To move towards your goal, you must be clear on what you would like to keep from the present situation. Before making a change, ensure you keep the best aspects of your current situation and discard all aspects you don’t enjoy. If your problems relate to resources only, make an effort to access existing resources and create new ones.
Getting started
Move at a pace comfortable for you, but not so comfortable that you get slack. Invest your time and energy into your goal and things will quickly change. You may need to re-evaluate your goal as you start moving towards it, your goal may even change completely, that is normal. It’s hard to know specifically what we want before starting out.
Strive for the best
When you are reaching to a big goal, you should feel some degree of discomfort, and perhaps a little unsure of yourself, as you are challenged. You are on a journey into the unknown. Be confident but not comfortable as you move towards achieving your goal. Dare to dream, and dream big, then concentrate your time on filling in the details.
Prepare to learn
Make every experience a learning experience. Be curious, particularly about the things that matter most to you. Expect to find valuable, useful knowledge in everyone and everything.
Be persistent
Don’t be discouraged over setbacks, be self-motivated and don’t give up. When you make progress, keep going! Take responsibility and avoid draining your energy by making excuses or assigning blame. Seek advice, assistance and cooperation of others and offer your own in relationships of mutual benefit. The achievements you seek to create are your responsibility, so be prepared to compete with yourself and work constantly to improve.
Be grateful
Gratitude will open your eyes, mind and spirit to the value that exists in everyone and everything. When you’re genuinely thankful, you make use of whatever it is in a meaningful, effective and positive way. A grateful attitude is also a positive attitude and being optimistic about your conditions and situation is essential as it enables you to see the best side in all the challenges you face. A positive disposition will trigger you to do better, find resolutions to problems and look for other support systems until your goals are achieved.
Focus on your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses
List all the qualities that you currently have which will lead you to your goal. Be honest. You could even brainstorm a word and write a short explanation as to how it will help you. It is equally important to realise your weaknesses and accept that you need to practice some measures to turn these into strengths.
Be a leader
Leadership means you have a lot of abilities and a high tendency to empower yourself personally, that the excess can be radiated onto other people. As you find others succeeding or following under your guidance, you will discover that your support for other people also equates to more self empowerment. You will start to appreciate your talents and potential.
Associate with successful people
Just as your talents will radiate onto others, so will theirs. Successful individuals have a knack of empowering themselves, especially when trying times are present. Socialise and be around people who believe in their own talents and capabilities.
Talk to yourself
Positive self-talk is imperative when empowering yourself. Know how to build yourself up. Make a conscious choice to build yourself up as often as possible. Make it a habit to speak encouragingly to yourself and expressing positive thoughts about your abilities. Speak to yourself as you would a good friend in need of support and encouragement. Regularly commend yourself for a job well done and love yourself unconditionally. The more you allow yourself to feel your own love and approval, the better you will feel about your life.
Quick tips to be self-empowered
– Be confident in yourself. Your confidence will naturally project a more powerful image than if you appear uncertain or anxious. Identify what is affecting your confidence and take steps to improve it
– Look after yourself – maintain a balanced diet, exercise regularly and manage your stress. If you feel good, you will be more self-confident and project a glowing energy to others
– Make a positive impression on people. People are more receptive to those who take good care of themselves, dress well, are neat and tidy and hold their posture. Focus on what you say and think before you speak
– Be constructive. Don’t be critical, gossip or complain too much. Avoid the temptation to whinge. Be positive and optimistic, provide constructive feedback and participate in finding solutions to problems rather than finding the problems
– Change yourself – not others. If you are unhappy with someone or something, change it to suit yourself. You can try to compromise but don’t expect anything to change for you
– Thrive on feedback. Empowering yourself means taking criticism constructively. Develop yourself technically, behaviourally and emotionally. Seek feedback and identify ways you can empower yourself. Criticism is always an opportunity to improve
– Focus on your goals, ambitions and desires. Don’t get tied up with your emotions, stay focussed on what’s ahead.
How to take responsibility for your life
Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment, and learn again to exercise his will – his personal responsibility. Albert Einstein
One thing that really upsets me is when someone lashes out or acts up and then says “I’m sorry … I’ve been really depressed lately.” To me, this is manipulation and it’s insincere which makes it harder for me to forgive the person.
Take some responsibility! You’re in charge of how you treat others! Depression is NO excuse. If you are depressed, start focusing on how you are affecting others around you and act to not disturb others in a negatively geared way. Just because you are feeling crumby, doesn’t mean those around you have to.
Great. So now you feel crumby, you’re frustrated with yourself, you can’t get out of bed AND now you can’t socialise just in case you affect someone else? Well … might as well just dig a hole and lie in it – right? WRONG! Here are some tips on where to go from here.
Cut out the bad guys
If you’re not feeling right and acting up, you will typically find that there are toxic people in your life bringing you down. Maybe one of your friends is a Negative Nancy. Perhaps it’s your lover? These are the people you need to decide that you will do better without. It may be difficult, but the short term pain of evicting these people from your life is well worth the long-term gain. Your current circumstances have evolved from decisions you have made – you decide who is in your life and who isn’t – start here when you start again.
Apologise to the people you have hurt
Now you know who you want in your life – and should have good reason for each of them, apologise openly to anyone in this group of people who you have hurt. Express that it wasn’t your intention to cause them pain, and perhaps you weren’t being yourself at the time (DO NOT blame being depressed!). Once you have sincerely apologised, ask if they can help you make it up to them. If the person makes a reasonable request, then try to act on it.
Take responsibility
Start making changes to alter your actions and change the end result for next time. Learn from your mistakes and take the lesson in life with you. According to Joan Didion, “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs”. Starting again is challenging, but concentrate on re-building your self-esteem and self-respect. Learn to trust yourself again so you don’t continue to let yourself down. Look at your life and really consider if things are in line with your values and beliefs. If not, it’s time to cut them loose and make some changes.
It is a painful thing to look at your own trouble and know that you yourself and no one else has made it. Sophocles
How to take responsibility for your actions
Stop reacting
When our actions cause pain to others, it is generally because we have reacted to something which has caused us pain. We are superimposing our circumstances onto other people’s lives as a means of taking control – this is not only unhealthy, but it’s a fast way of losing all the good and positive people from your life.
Reflect what changing your actions will mean to you
Ask yourself what accepting responsibility for your actions/thoughts will mean to you. How frequently do you blame others for your circumstances? Why do you feel like a victim? Once you’ve thought about all of these things, talk to yourself and start accepting that your actions have lead you to this circumstance, but if you change that going forward – your outcome may be much brighter for the future.
Do not give up!
Giving up and staying depressed is such a cop out. Quit using lazy excuses and start living proactively! It takes effort to keep going through tough circumstances, it takes effort to continually evaluate things and strive for the best, and continue to better yourself, and it takes effort to make up for any hurt you have caused, and effort to take responsibility for yourself. If you have got yourself into a rut, there is one thing that is for sure, you will be the best person to get yourself back out of the rut. While you can lean on some people around you for help and to offload – you also need to take responsibility, lean on yourself, trust yourself to make the right choices going forward.
Forgive yourself
The hardest part, but most important, in taking responsibility for your actions is to forgive yourself for what you have done to lead to your current (undesirable) circumstances. If you can step back from everything, acknowledge that you have made a mistake, and promise yourself that you will do better or try harder the next time around, then really, half your battle is fought.
Take responsibility for your emotions
Don’t blame others for your unhappiness. Take responsibility for the way you feel and act. According to Denis Waitley, “A sign of wisdom and maturity is when you come to terms with the realisation that your decisions cause your rewards and consequences. You are responsible for your life, and your ultimate success depends on the choices you make”.
So to summarise – how do you take responsibility for your life? Easy: make the right decisions. And then for the good news according to Hal Elrod: “The moment you take responsibility for everything in your life, is the moment you can change anything in your life”.
How to have a “Can Do” attitude
The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances. Martha Washington
When applying for a job, we must all magically inherit a “can do” attitude. What on earth is that? Is that just enthusiasm? But what if you actually CAN’T do it? Are you just not meant to say anything and fake it and hope you don’t blow something up? Whatever it is, a positive attitude is vital for any successful journey.
So how do you get this positive “can do” attitude that gets you charged up and ready to tackle anything? Here are some simple tips that will help you build the attitude everyone wants, make you feel like there’s more hours in the day and give you the energy that everyone wants to be around:
Be confident
Success depends heavily in believe in your ability to succeed and having a strong sense of self-worth. You can develop your self-confidence by learning and growing at every opportunity and being aware of yourself and those around you.
Show enthusiasm
Be enthusiastic about life and all that it brings – including challenges! Think of it as an adventure and stay focussed on your goals to keep the motivation flowing.
Don’t compare
Don’t put yourself down – sometimes doing it your way will be just as good as doing it any other way! Try to learn from people around you to bring yourself up to a higher level, than be jealous. What is it they do that you could copy in order to attract the same success that they have?
Revisit your achievements
List your achievements and consider how you felt when you made that achievement, find a way to achieve something again and get that feeling back. Be aware of your values, strengths and skills and also how others view you. Seek feedback as often as you can, listen to it and focus on improving where you can.
Project your image
Select positive role models and learn from what they do. Project a confident image. Remember, negativity is like a boomerang, it always comes back to you.
Watch your appearance
Take care of yourself with a flattering haircut, manicure or maintain a healthy skin care regime. Take time with your clothes and shoes. Dress professionally.
Think positive
Focus on the things that are working well in your life and your strengths, rather than what is not working. Research has shown that 75-80% of daily communication is negative. Concentrate your energies on positive aspects of your life and move away from problems and fears.
Avoid self-criticism
Let go of the inner voice that criticises you when things don’t go well. Analyse the situation and learn from it, this will help you learn, grow and move ahead. Look at setbacks as opportunities to grow.
Challenge yourself
Step outside your comfort zone and stretch yourself to boost your confidence. Think creatively.
Chill out
Learn to relax and unwind after a potentially stressful day, with challenges that have you wound up. Meditation helps get into a relaxed state quickly.
Watch what you say
Language colours experience – speak positively because it reflects on you. Take responsibility and ownership where you can. When you start saying or even thinking you can’t do something, stop and ask yourself: what would it take to change that to can do? Focus on your answer and making it happen.
Develop your mindset
Develop a problem-solving mind-set. Challenge yourself when you think you can’t and prove why you actually can.
Motivate yourself
Look for positive past experiences when you successfully solved the same or a similar sort of problem and remember what worked for you. Solve problems by playing to your strengths.
Do something different
‘If you do what you’ve always done you’ll get what you’ve always got.’ There’s always more than one way to solve a problem.
Smile
A smile not only brightens your day, but it will brighten the day of those around you. It also changes your brain chemistry and makes for a brighter day.
Be professional
Use tact and diplomacy in the workplace and put any feelings of frustration, anger and disappointment aside. State facts before feelings and find ways to get jobs done even when it’s uncomfortable. The show must go on.
Set goals
Set goals that drive you towards results. Focus on what you want to happen ahead, not what you’re worried will happen. Set S-M-A-R-T-E-R (specific, measureable, attainable, realistic, timely, encouraging and rewarding) goals. Concentrate on getting win-win situations.
Reframe communication
If a conversation is going negatively, reframe it with a positive spin. Help the person seek solutions to their problems, avoid negative media and try to stay optimistic.
Fake it til you make it
Act like you are already achieving your goals, and you will rise to a higher level. Others will see you as achieving and interact with you accordingly.
Learn to let go
“Let it go and let go. Most of our problems and fears and worries and doubts come from clinging to people and objects and ideals and expectations and the need to control situations. Just let them be. You will clearly see things change just as quickly by being patient. Trust life’s flow sometimes. Don’t keep fighting it. Oh and let others shine and be right sometimes,” said news.com.au editor, Andrew Banks 2012.
How to encourage, motivate and inspire others
Treat a man as he appears to be, and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he already were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be. Von Goethe
In a world where there is so much choice and people are extremely conscious of their decisions and the consequences of them, it is very hard to motivate, influence, encourage or inspire a group of people with a single motivational technique.
What motivates people?
Different things motivate different people. Some say the call to action simply needs to appeal to people’s values – but that’s pretty broad. Some suggest that it’s more 50/50 – all it takes is a simple call-to-action and a willingness to do them. Then there are the step solutions:
Step 1 – Clearly articulate the call to action and why
Step 2 – Involve people in finding the solutions
Step 3 – Explain the rules
Step 4 – Link personal goals to organisational goals
Step 5 – Eliminate the weakest links (aka negative people).
There isn’t really a single one-stop-shop to motivating people – it’s a simple fact that different things will motivate different people. There is never any one thing that can motivate a whole crowd of unfamiliar strangers to do the same call to action. It will always appeal to some and not to others. However, generally if there is a need – there’s a motivation, so if you want to motivate someone to change or to do something then you must first understand his needs and wants, then tie the change to these needs. Ultimately, the more you understand a person or the audience you wish to motivate, the easier it will be to access their triggers and get them to do as you ask.
How to motivate people and encourage them to do what you want to do?
Accessing triggers is easy. Show them a picture to remind them of something, play a song that will take them back to a moment in time… whatever key you use doesn’t matter as long as it opens the doors to the target person’s mind.
Once you have motivated your target audience, you need to:
– Follow up with a call to action – tell people exactly what you want them to do
– Keep your request simple – limit the time or effort that people need to put in to do your call to action and set a date so people have something to work towards
– Set the example and share in the sacrifice. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander
– What’s in it for them? Appeal to people’s positive emotions and highlight the thrill of achievement with little extras that cause excitement, pride and a sense of belonging (being part of a team)
– List multiple reasons WHY you want them to do what you’re asking
– Challenge your target audience. Inspire them by being creative and challenge them to reach slightly beyond their limits
How to encourage people
– Show genuine interest. Ask open-ended questions. Listen actively
– Acknowledge what’s important to them. Affirm and validate what they are saying and believe
– Congratulate them. Worthwhile things take time and effort, acknowledge that you have seen what they have done and say “well done”. These words of encouragement at the right time can make a big difference to someone’s motivation
– Be grateful for the small things. Use your manners, it lets your friends know they’ve done something worthwhile and meaningful
– Reciprocate the favour. Show your appreciation by reciprocating – it’s like a pendulum
– Be spontaneous. This delivers maximum impact. Such acts can reach them at an emotional level and we are hard-wired to respond to emotional things
– Confide in them. It’s a form of flattery!
– Offer to help. If someone sees that you are willing to commit your time and energy in their interests, they will be more committed to seeing it through.
Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be. Ralph Waldo Emerson
How to inspire people to be their best
– Be a courageous role model – take risks and lead by example
– Have a strong vision on how things should be, be forward thinking and share your perspective
– Reject politics – spend your energy on positive things
– Value other people’s input, perspective and encourage collaboration
– Set goals and work to exceed them before starting on the next challenge
– Show empathy – try to understand their world and how it feels and help them move ahead to be their best
– Be inspired by others and share your role models with people, explain what it is that they’re doing that inspires you
– Express your enthusiasm as often as possible. People are drawn to positive people
– Make people feel good about themselves. People will rarely remember what you did, but they will always remember how you made them feel
– Share lessons from your successes and failures
– Focus on the positive. Everything that happens in life is neither good nor bad: it just depends on your perspective.
Things you must QUIT to succeed
You can never conquer the mountain. You can only conquer yourself.
Jim WhittakerAn arrow can only be sent forward by pulling it back. So when life is pulling you backwards, it means it is going to launch you to a victory. Unknown
Quit your need to be right
Whenever you feel the need to start an argument over who is right or wrong, ask yourself: at the end of the day, what difference will it make? Don’t live for your ego, live for you, your happiness and the happiness of those around you.
Quit always being in control
Learn to accept things the way they are. Allow everything and everyone around you to just be as they are and you will see how much better you will feel by not trying to control it.
Quit blaming
Stop blaming others, situations or things for what you have or don’t have or what you feel or don’t feel. Take responsibility for yourself and change to get what you want – use your energy for working towards positive change rather than sinking into negative thoughts.
Quit your negative self-talk
Negative self-talk pollutes the rest of your life and can even physically disfigure you. Quit believing everything your mind tells you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. Change those thoughts into the positives – what you do well, and look at areas of weakness as opportunities to do better next time.
Quit self-limitations
You can do anything you set your mind to! Nothing is impossible. Avoid limiting yourself where ever you can – when it looks impossible, push yourself: find a way!
Quit complaining
Be grateful for the good things in your life – your friends, your family, your career, the fact that you have food on the table. Nobody can make you unhappy, and no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. You have more control over most situations than what you think – generally it boils down to a simple “yes” or “no” decision. Don’t complain – change it! Or change your perspective on it.
Quit bitching
Avoid criticising people, things, or events because they are different to you or what you would do. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved, we all want to be understood – why not work as one big team? If you can see someone is trying something, be supportive and encouraging. Putting people down will only make you feel weak.
Quit trying to impress others
The moment you stop trying to be something you’re not, and you start accepting yourself and embracing yourself as you are – strengths and weaknesses – is the moment people will start to be drawn to you, effortlessly. Quit being something that you’re not – you’re great as you are.
Quit resisting change
Change helps you move from A to B and become happier. It can go either way, you just need to ensure your decisions to change lead you forward. Change helps you improve your life and the lives of those around you. Embracing change is embracing life – change is inevitable.
Quit generalising
Stop tarring people, things or situations with the same brush. Keep an open mind, see situations as they are and take experiences as they come. Avoid shutting yourself off to new experiences because the last time you tried was a bad one. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about,” Wayne Dyer.
Quit being scared
Fear is an illusion – you created it, it doesn’t actually exist. It’s just another emotion. Sometimes you just need to feel the fear and do it anyway.
Quit your excuses
We often limit ourselves because of our excuses. Instead of growing, trying new things and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck – lying to ourselves – using excuses that, most of the time, aren’t even real.
Quit looking in the review mirror
Leave the past behind you – it wasn’t perfect, and that’s what pushed you forward to where you are now. The present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. Be present in everything you do and enjoy your life exactly as it is – life is a journey, not a destination.
Quit being dependent
Find your independence by detaching yourself from all things, people and situations. Do what you want to do – be in charge of your life, what happens to you and quit all addictions. Relying on things opens you to disappointment – be your own manager and make sure you’re focussing on being the best you that you can be, without any props.
Quit living to other’s expectations
You have one life – if you keep living to others expectations, you will regret it later. Don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path. Quit trying to please people in your life, stop living to the expectations of others, get a grip – take control, and be proud of who you are for being exactly as you are.
Living with integrity
Integrity simply means not violating one’s own identity. Erich Fromm
Imagine how great the world would be if everyone did exactly what they said they were going to do, when they said they were going to do it. More and more often procrastination, excuses and other obstacles get in the way preventing a lot of people from delivering this. Before we know it, we’re wearing thin because our integrity is being ignored.
Integrity regards internal consistency as a virtue, and suggests that parties holding apparently conflicting values should account for the discrepancy or alter their beliefs. Essentially, living with integrity is aligning your values with your actions.
A lot of the time when we aren’t living with integrity it is affecting (i.e. letting down) other people. How many times have you heard someone promise something to charity – and not do it? How many times have you been let down socially? What about when working as part of a team in the office? Are you the person you want to be at the moment, or can you see some areas where you are letting yourself and others down?
The importance of integrity
Integrity is important in everybody’s lives as it will lead to strong personal relationships, long term success, consistency in one’s life and it is great for leadership skills. We can’t lead and inspire others if we are not acting with integrity. In fact, if you want to be a positive influence, act with integrity, treat others with respect and live by positive values.
Integrity is first knowing yourself – your values, desires, talents, dreams … and then being true to that self in all actions and interactions. It’s having behaviour that is congruent with your values. When your actions are aligned with your values, you conduct yourself authentically, sincerely and openly. When you clarify your values, it assists with setting goals that are consistent with those values – bringing purposes and passion to your life.
Some values to help you act with integrity
Below are some values to assist you in acting with integrity.
Responsibility: Take responsibility and ownership of your life, your actions and who you are as a person.
Attitude: Be confident and comfortable within yourself and you will have no reason to belittle others or act with arrogance. You can build confidence simply by working on your communication skills.
Commitment: Align your words and actions and follow through with anything you say you will do. When we keep our commitments, trust is built.
Honesty: Be open about your objectives and motives with other people. Where there is high trust, what you see is what you get.
Values: Make sure you have a strong set of core beliefs. If you wish to alter any of these, I highly recommend looking into Schema Therapy.
Consistency: Make the right decisions and do it consistently. Don’t lie to anyone about anything.
Reinforcement: Choose your behaviour to reflect your values and you’ll move through life with authenticity, sincerity and wholeness. Some examples of aligning your actions with your values may include:
Value: Honesty = be truthful
Value: Commitment = follow through
Value: Independence = do your own thing.
Benefits of living with integrity
Life coach Cheryl Richardson says that living without integrity makes goals harder to reach, attracts people into your life who will make you feel bad, and you start losing faith in yourself.
– People living with integrity are often seen as: trustworthy, decent, honest, moral, virtuous, appropriate, mindful, ethical, authentic, fair and credible.
– When you live with integrity, you succeed. You are open and honest. Your life is uncomplicated and less stressful.
– Integrity can be like a butterfly effect – people follow your example and act more honestly.
– Living with integrity means you live with less regrets – you stick to what you know is right or wrong.
– Integrity helps us handle criticism more easily.
– When you make a mistake, it’s easier to accept responsibility and move forward.
How to live with integrity
(1) Concentrate on how you spend your time and money. To live a life with integrity, you spend your time according to what is of most value to you. This could be working, seeing family, working for charity, taking care of yourself (exercising, meditating/reflecting, cooking, sleeping etc). When it comes to money – maximise your real hourly wage, be conscious of your spending, eliminate spending money on things with low value.
(2) Don’t settle for less than what you deserve in your relationships. Start challenging yourself – ask yourself what life would be like if you had the ideal partner, more supportive friends, a more gratifying job or a happier and more fulfilling life. Ask yourself how those changes look and feel. You’ll find that because they look and feel better than what you’re currently experiencing, you’ll be more compelled to make the changes that align with that new vision of your life.
(3) Ask for what you want. Understanding your needs helps you establish solid boundaries. Making your needs known to those around you, helps you to enforce those boundaries and teaches others how to treat us.
(4) Speak your truth (even if it upsets people). Expressing our truths is one of the most powerful privileges we have as humans. If we speak our truth with caring and respect, then the message can be that much more effective.
(5) Be true to yourself. Make decisions based on your beliefs.
Looking for more information about acting with integrity? Check out this fantastic clip on YouTube by Sagebrush Community!
Discover your dreams
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. Thoreau
If you could do anything in life – what would it be? If you could work anywhere, for anyone – where would it be and who would it be for? What are you passionate about? Struggling to find a direct answer? You’re not alone. This blog will help you get on the path to achieving your dreams and living a life fulfilled with happiness.
Hobbies
How do you spend your spare time? Everyone spends their spare time doing something – a lot of the time it’ll be multiple consistent things – for example – I like blogging, going to the gym, socialising and reading. List these activities and consider whether it’s something you would enjoy doing for a living.
Talents
Everyone has a gift that they could utilise and share with the world in order to live a life of purpose. Consider what you are good at? What areas do you excel in? Listing your achievements in life may also assist in deciphering your talents.
Colleagues
You won’t enjoy your job if you don’t like who you’re working with. Consider who you enjoy working with and list the types of people you enjoy working with: their characteristics, job titles, even list names of people if you wish.
Tools
What do you enjoy working with? Do you enjoy working with computers? People? Art? Particular software programs? Write a list of all the things you enjoy working with.
Environment
What environment do you enjoy working in? Do you like being in the office? Being outdoors? A classroom? A construction site? What gets you excited?
Triggers
Look back on your life and consider what triggers your happiness? From childhood, through adolescence to adulthood – think about the happiest times in your life and what you were doing, who you were with, where you were doing it.
Passion
List your top five passions – if you don’t have five, as many as you can – compare them to each other and rank them in order from top (greatest passion) to bottom (least passion in the list). Look at the top two or three passions and ask yourself if either could be turned into a job. What professions use those passions? Consider how you would get into that profession and whether you would love working in that field.
Visualise
Take some time to think about what your dream job is, visualise: what you are doing, what you are wearing, where you are, who you’re working with, what tools you’re using, the benefits of this job to yourself and others. Write down all the finer details as much as you can. The more real it becomes in your mind, the more it will become a reality – what you conceive, you can achieve.
Planning
Now you have your destination – you just need to plan how to get there. Think backwards – you have your destination, what’s the last step you have to take to get to there? And the step before that? And the one before that? Keep going until you’re at the first step. Sometimes there is more than one way to get to a destination, so it’s ok to brainstorm a few possibilities/branches to get where you’re going. Brainstorm what actions you need to take to get to where you want to go.
Make it happen
Start at the start of your roadmap and take the first step. Pretend you can’t fail – remove all fear of risk and loss and believe in your success. Live as you want to be remembered. Set an example with what you’re doing and be the best you can be at it every day. Sooner or later, you will get rnoticed for what you are doing – but make sure you act boldly and on purpose.
Research
Learn as much as you can about your dream in any way you can. Read books in the library, look it up on the internet, interview some experts in the field. Become an expert on the topic. Find the people who inspire you in the field and try to meet them. Ask what steps they took to get there, what’s required, how they did it.
Practice
While you’re developing your dream, practice your passion as much as possible. Commit to spending some time on it every day (30 minutes to an hour) or as often as you possibly can, for as long as you can. Make it a habit and you will succeed.
Motivation
Keep yourself motivated and focussed. You know what you’re going for, now don’t give up! Set rewards for yourself at every mini goal you reach – in the step to getting to the end. Only focus on one goal at a time. Inspire yourself, track your progress, join a support group or find a partner on a similar mission.
Get motivated NOW!
The only limits on human achievement are self-imposed. Dr. Denis Waitley
We all have them… those days you wake up and you don’t want to get out of bed. When you finally do, nothing feels as though it’s going right. So how do you turn your day around?
Start small
The simplest thing can point your feet in the right direction. Don’t stay in bed – get up. Make yourself breakfast. Buy yourself a coffee.
Act kindly
Open the door for someone. Let someone into your lane when driving to work. Text a friend: “hope you have a good day”. Wish someone happy birthday on Facebook.
Meet a positive friend
Organise to see someone in the afternoon/evening who makes you laugh or feel good about yourself.
Do something different
Shake things up – get out of your comfort zone. Read a book instead of a newspaper. Spend time learning something new.
Watch your diet
Carbohydrtes (bread, rice, pasta) make anyone feel heavy and bloated. Greasy/fatty foods won’t make you feel better either. Stick to a salad or something light today. Drink lots of water.
Be positive
Think about the good things about yourself and focus on what you CAN do today.
Exercise
Try to get your heart rate up for 20-30 minutes. It will release endorphins to reduce stress and make you feel better about everything.
Get some sunshine
Sit in some sunshine for at least 15 minutes. If there’s no sun, try natural light for an hour. If this fails, find your own sunshine. What makes YOU happy. Do it for a little while to boost your mood.