Have you encountered a Tinder tease?
Up to 42% of people on popular dating application, Tinder, aren’t single according to new research released by GlobalWebIndex which found 30% were married and 12% were in a committed relationship. To break it down a little more this means about 1 in 4 people
using the Tinder app are spoken for.
I’m not sure if people will be shocked by this statistic or not because surely it’s not a new concept that people who are in a relationship will try their hand at online dating because they feel it could be more “discreet” and it provides the immediate ego boost they’re
seeking.
In a world where people can no longer work out how to love themselves, make themselves feel special and boost their own ego, it’s no surprise to me at all that they would turn to online dating – even if they’re in a relationship.
The survey was of 47,000 internet users worldwide and discovered 62% are male and 38% are female.
Based on this, I set out to do my own research to find out what men really think of Tinder.
The chronicles of “shoulds”
I was going through my media monitors the other day and one word stood out to me as I browsed through the headlines:
Why you should be masturbating
Things you should do in your relationship
What you should do to make it work
When should it be over
Who should you really be dating
How should someone be treating you
The list went on and on and on…
And it got me thinking about our own little internal rule book. Many therapists are trying to silence it – that’s the voice within that says “you should” do this or that. Is anyone else wondering where this voice picks it up from?
Our media is constantly trying to write our internal rule books for us. And who is saying it? The person behind the screen, and what is their credibility? Why do we often read these should articles and apply it to our own lives before asking the right questions?
Each of us has an internal rule book and sometimes it exists for self preservation. Other times it shows us as a limiting belief, in which case: no we damn well shouldn’t, and let’s do the opposite!
Whether we should or shouldn’t is up to us, but in a world where we’re telling ourselves to say “should” and “but” less and words like “and” more – should journalists also take on this advice? I challenge all my friends to a 24-hour media freeze. For the next 24 hours no news … make your own decisions – not based on what’s happening in the world but based solely on what you want to happen.
Enjoy the freedom!
The closure question: why?
I was talking to a beautiful client this morning who was very distressed about her relationship with a man who had been abusing her for years. “Why would he want to hurt me so badly?” she sobbed. That moment stuck with me and I wanted to share why.
Recently I was dating a respectable man. A 35-year-old lawyer, great family, passionate about his dreams, and he seemed to really care for me. Everything was going along well, he came out to Australia from his country to see me and he decided it wasn’t working out. So in true love-avoidant style, he tried to make my life really difficult so I would break up with him … because then he wouldn’t be responsible.
How average is your dating history?
According to an eHarmony survey, the average woman will kiss 15 men, be heartbroken twice (which means she’s fallen in love twice), stood up once and have four disaster dates before they find the man of their dreams – or “the one”.
On a brighter note, during that dating history she will also generally enjoy two long-term relationships – so it’s not all disaster!
The detail continues as the study discovered she will go on seven dates, as well as two blind dates and…
Media Release: Relationship Free announces Self Love September
Media Release
Tuesday, 5 May 2015
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA
Relationship Free announces Self Love September
(an awareness month dedicated to loving yourself)
It’s official – 1 September 2015 will mark the inaugural launch of Self Love September announced life coach and founder of Relationship Free, Sarah Webb in Sydney today.
“Most of us would agree that demonstrating love through a variety of ways is an important way to maintain a healthy
relationship and keep love alive – because it keeps it interesting– and self love should be no different,” Ms Webb said.
Self love September is a month where we acknowledge our personal achievements and successes. It’s a month where we thank our mind, body and spirit for working together to get us through our journey. It’s a month where we celebrate ourselves and demonstrate that self-appreciation with an act of love for each day of the month.
Most of us achieve something every day.
Most of us think remarkable things – every day.
And every single one of us has a story – and we’re all inspirational.
These three things demonstrate that we are deserving and worthy of a reward. And while we do deserve it every moment of every day, we will celebrate it every day for one month of the year as a reminder to ourselves: we matter.
“Even the most successful people regularly forget to reward themselves or don’t know how and this month brings everyone
together to share their experiences and to love yourself completely the way you want to be loved,” Ms Webb added.
Throughout September Relationship Free will talk about self love and how you can not only demonstrate self love and self care, but also help you realise it, even in the most painful situations you may find yourself in. The awareness month is designed to help people find ways to strengthen and enhance the relationship they have with themselves, whether it’s barely
existent or you have mastered it and are interested in some new tips to re-ignite the love or looking for some tricks to keep the self love alive.
“We’re very excited to be launching this awareness month for all ages to enable everyone to receive the unique love that only they can give and to do this we will be particularly active within the community to spread the word during September. More
information about Self Love September will be available via our blog on our website – http://www.relationshipfree.com – and on our
social media (Facebook and Twitter) in coming months,” said Ms Webb.
Can’t wait for it to begin? Relationship Free is releasing an e-book on Amazon 100% Self Love: the roadmap to the love and life you desire, which is available for pre-order now, and due for official release on 15 May 2015. Order yours today:
About/Bio
Relationship Free is a life coaching company based in Sydney, Australia that works with people all over the world to enhance their self love and understanding of themselves.
Our mission is to assist people to learn to love themselves holistically and understand their actions, words and thoughts in a way that develops self-compassion and self-trust while enhancing the person’s self esteem and self worth.
Relationship Free is forward thinking, forward focused and forward moving in all approaches. We help people to identify
positive steps forward and take actions to achieve the best outcome for them, with our main concern being what we can do now – because most people make mistakes and it’s just part of the journey.
Our support is vibrant and energetic to create a comfortable, positive space to resolve problems, transform them into
opportunities and thrive to your full potential. Because the world needs the special love only you can give!
May is National Masturbation Month – say what?
National Masturbation Month has officially made it into the calendar year and if you haven’t started, now’s the time because we’re well into May now! The idea of this month is to celebrate and raise awareness of things such as female masturbation which some people allege carries stigma. However, some may argue having an entire month dedicated to female masturbation isn’t a feminist act but something that causes discomfort to many and perhaps it even makes some people feel pressure.
A lot of people think this is a great opportunity to bring up the “self love” conversation, and perhaps that’s true if love is defined as a physical act – but Sarah Webb, Director of Relationship Free, feels differently saying:
“I’m set to release my first eBook: 100% Self Love: the roadmap to the love and life you desire … it makes it a little awkward to announce that to my family and friends, when so many people believe that self love is masturbation. What do they really think they’ll see between the pages of my book? The best positions to do it when you’re by yourself? Where that spot really is?”
Ms Webb points out that masturbation is an act of self love but not a defining feature.
“My book is not about any of these things – it’s a lot more holistic and masturbation actually doesn’t factor in – that’s optional…
Narcissist or love avoidant – what’s the difference?
The following is a depiction of a love addict’s view of a love avoidant. All characters in this work are fictitious. And resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
So there I am, sitting on the floor of my apartment in floods of tears.
My heart so broken that my throat hurts.
I’m crying so hard it feels like my oesophagus is burning.
I hadn’t dated in over a year and a half. This was my first venture back into “the game”.
Sydney can be brutal, so I tried something further away.
We met in January, he was American. I thought he was perfect.
After two months long distance he returned, because he couldn’t be without me any longer.
He was talking about rings, marriage and children. I thought he would propose.
He didn’t.
From the moment he touched down, it wasn’t the same. He wasn’t the man I met before.
I tried to make it work anyway – because that’s what I do.
I kept trying. It still wasn’t working.
Then I started crying. Tears of frustration. Tears of anger. Tears of devastation.
I wanted him to understand.
A part of me thought it would be different if he could see.
But he couldn’t see – and he wouldn’t.
100% Self Love: The roadmap to the love and life you desire
I’ve got some exciting news to share with you!
Through my new business, Relationship Free, I am preparing to release my first eBook via Amazon.com. It’s called 100% Self Love: the roadmap to the love and life you desire.
It shares vital information and includes a series of activities to help readers learn to love and trust themselves – before others. And you can !
Many of you know the journey I have been on over the past couple of years and this book shares all the lessons I have taken from toxic and abusive relationships to put myself back together quickly and effectively. It’s what I’ve used to help myself and I know it will be greatly beneficial to my readers as well.
This book is perfect for men and women who are looking to develop a healthy relationship with themselves but aren’t sure where to start. It’s the greatest guide to developing the foundation for relationships with other people and to maintaining a sense of self, including a healthy self esteem and self worth, in all situations.
Want to know more? Here’s the description!
Are you someone who finds yourself latching onto relationships? Frequently hitting the dating treadmill only to get hurt or let down again and again?
Do you dread being on your own?
Are you anxious that your partner will leave you?
Is validation from others more important than what YOU think?
Do you depend on people for support, love, affection, attention and everything in between?
What if you knew the most fulfilling relationship you can have is available to you all the time? That’s right, everything you need – your one-stop-shop for support, love and attention – is available to you right now?
It’s true – the one person you need to love unconditionally and have love you in return, and who you need to trust completely, is the person staring back at you in the mirror.
So when was the last time that you said “I love you” to yourself?
When was the last time that you demonstrated that love?
Think about yourself today. Right now. As a whole being. Do you love yourself?
If there was even a moment of hesitation or if that question made you feel uncomfortable – then this book is for you!
Banish your abandonment complex, overcome co-dependence, forget your insecurities, stop looking for love in the wrong places, leave that toxic person, make a faster recovery following narcissistic abuse, cut the abuse cycle … Relationship Free takes you on a journey to discover your true, authentic self, which may enable you to fall into the deepest unconditional love you will ever experience.
A love you can trust.
A love that will never leave you.
100% Self Love helps you find and understand yourself, enhance confidence and self trust as you continue your journey through life. With practical activities throughout, you’ll start building the foundation for the most important relationship of your entire life – one that is often overlooked – the relationship you have with yourself.
100% Self Love not only ensures that you have a great relationship with yourself, but that it starts and is maintained as a healthy relationship. The love you are about to discover is the promised unconditional love you’ve always desired.
It’s not a fairytale and there’s no chance of a soul-crushing end.
Get set to transform your heart.
Get set for 100% Self Love!
If you have questions, suggestions or feedback – contact me here.
Help! I’m dating someone I’m not into
Dear Sarah,
I’m in a relationship with someone I’m not really into – but I don’t want to leave because I’m 35, we’ve been together for five years now and it’s the time when I should be settling down – not starting again. Plus, I feel sorry for my girlfriend, she’s very quiet and I don’t think she’ll meet someone else easily.
What should I do? Pete.
This isn’t an unusual question to appear in my inbox at the moment. People who are trying to stay in a relationship that isn’t making themselves happy but not entirely sure what to do – should they stay or should they go?
There are lots of things you can do, but remember: as long as you’re with the wrong person, you’re not creating the space you need to be with the right person.
Find out Relationship Free’s top three suggestions for next steps.
While we acknowledge toxic people on our Facebook to help us decide how we can create the best space for us, it’s important to also acknowledge the people we love and adore. Social Media isn’t all bad – it just depends what space you want to create. This week Relationship Free looks at how you can create the healthiest online space for you!
The entrepreneur
My Facebook is full of these amazing people who each are trying to create different things and are not only bright and positive themselves, but they encourage their fellow entrepreneurs – which works well for me! These are the cheerleaders you need in your life if you’re starting your own business or looking for some positive energy on a cloudy day.
The optimist
You know the one – they’re always posting the latest positive meme or information about the next speaker event you should attend. They have their finger on the pulse with everything vibrant, hip, happening and exciting that’s coming your way. They’re the first to invite you to the next social gathering that’s coming up – there’s always room and space for you. These are the dreamers and the believers who lift you up.