Charlotte Dawson – you will be missed
Sometimes, especially if people are wanting you to kill yourself, and you’re somebody who has previously tried to end your life, it’s very, very easy to feel like that’s exactly what you want to do. Charlotte Dawson – Sixty Minutes 2012.
In all the footage you find of her, Charlotte Dawson appears very brave and courageous – something that adds to the shock of today’s news.
Time and time again Charlotte Dawson appeared as strong as her message. Her intentions in campaigning against bullying, among other things, were so good. She was a role model! She may not have done everything right, but the way she kept getting back up, her strength, her courage … she was a positive figure to aspire to.
But today Charlotte lost her battle with depression. Is it another bullycide? The public may never know.
I didn’t know her personally, but we had something in common: campaigning against bullying and that is why I want to dedicate this post to her.
Charlotte Dawson was a model and television presenter who in recent times had a very public battle with Twitter trolls, some of whom she exposed. You just need to watch this to see for yourself that they were absolutely no match for her – she lived a lavish lifestyle in Woolloomooloo which, despite her struggles, she managed to maintain. Along with the brave front she held together, that’s a massive credit to her!
In this interview she appears so strong about her circumstances, you’d never pick her for having such a horrific battle with depression behind the scenes. And this is exactly why we need to be so careful with what we say to other people. Everyone has their own battles and demons they’re fighting. In fact, just a couple of weeks ago I blogged about being Being conscious of our words and how they affect others and this scenario is exactly why. Bullying is not ok and perhaps Charlotte’s Twitter trolls need to take a long hard look in the mirror before they post again!
Depression affects 1 in 4 four people and by 2020 it will be the world’s second largest killer.
Charlotte leaves us with her messages of hope and strength for those who suffer from depression and a book called Air Kiss and Tell – a very raw biography about her life. Check out this YouTube clip for more: The truth about Charlotte Dawson.
Charlotte Dawson – you may not have felt like much in your final moments – but you will be missed.
In 2012 I wrote a blog about Being proactive against bullying, with solutions – one being to start an online support network where those suffering at the hands of cyber bullies can get instant assistance from someone qualified. Or even unqualified! The idea of having Lifeline online.
“If you’re going to express those points of view, you should do it with a face and a name so you can be accountable,” Charlotte Dawson was quoted saying in an interview with in September 2012 following her Twitter attack that landed her in hospital following an attempted suicide.
Domestic Violence organisation, 1800 RESPECT, has recently introduced a similar functionality on their website where people can go online for direct assistance. We need that for anti-bullying and if anyone has the skills to put it together, I would be more than happy to team up, share ideas and start building it to make it happen.
In the meantime, if you are in crisis or are struggling with depression, please contact Lifeline for assistance: 13 11 14.
Related articles:
Charlotte Dawson found dead
TV celebrity Charlotte Dawson found dead at her Sydney home
Charlotte Dawson found dead in Woolloomooloo home
Welcome to another year at Happiness Weekly
We were so fortunate this year to have a complete fresh start with the new moon on New Years Eve! I hope you all enjoyed your celebrations as much as I did.
There are many exciting things ahead for all of us this year, great memories to be made, and I’m sure you’re all busy trying to check off your New Year Resolutions.
I will be posting more inspirational quotes on Facebook and Twitter this year which are sure to keep you motivated and entertained. So if you aren’t on those, please join up!
Otherwise, I wish you all a happy, healthy and successful 2014!
Best wishes, Sarah.
What to do if your loved one goes missing
We do not suffer from the shock of our trauma, but we make out of it just what suits our purposes. Alfred Adler.
I couldn’t imagine anything more distressing than a loved-one going missing. Last year, I remember flicking on the news one evening and there was Tom Meagher pleading for public assistance in finding his wife, Jill Meagher. That scene struck a chord for me and has since been etched in my mind. Meanwhile, the story itself, which came to a devastatingly grisly end with too light a punishment, struck a chord with hundreds of thousands of women across Australia. The fact that the offender is even contemplating appealing his sentence will have many Australians up in arms. As it stands, many have taken to the internet with suggested solutions: tougher parole laws, chemical castration for repeat offenders, life in solitary confinement… 30 years will never be enough to console the Meagher family or the Australian public for their loss.
However, this blog is not about Jill’s story or Tom’s relentless quest to find his beautiful wife – it is designed to assist everyone in our communities, across the globe, in staying safe and knowing what to do if someone we love does go missing.
A missing person is defined as anyone who is reported missing to the police, whose whereabouts is unknown and there are reasonable circumstances to cause serious concerns and/or fears for their safety or welfare.
Each year in Australia an estimated 35,000 people are reported missing according to the Australian Federal Police – that’s one person every 15 minutes. Meanwhile, in the UK approximately 210,000 people are reported missing each year – this includes The Sun’s frightening statistic that a child disappears every three minutes. And throughout the USA in 2012, the National Crime Information Centre recorded 661,593 missing persons, and of these reports: 2,079 remain unsolved.
Thankfully, in most reported incidences of a missing person, the people are quickly located after being reported missing. But with statistics as high as these, it’s important to know what to do if one of your loved ones happens to go missing.
There are many reasons people go missing, but some include anxiety and depression, misadventure, homelessness, dementia, domestic violence, becoming a victim of crime, drugs/alcohol abuse, family dysfunction and conflict and other mental health issues.
This week from Monday, 29 July until Sunday, 4 August it is National Missing Persons Week with a mental health theme, and to promote it, Happiness Weekly is going to look at what you can do if someone you love goes missing.
Step one – keep calm and make some calls
Naturally, your first instinct is going to be to panic. It’s best to conserve your energy for finding your missing loved one. Once you have sufficient reason to believe your loved one is missing, start making contact with people associated with your loved one and ask if they know where the person may be. You may also want to broaden your search without doing it all yourself and ask each person you make contact with to do some calling around. Be sure to keep a record of everyone you speak with (name, time, phone number) because you may be calling back to let them know the person has been found and thank them for their help.
Step two – stay by the phone
Have someone stay by the phone, or if you’re using a mobile – carry it on you at all times – in case someone has an update. Keep the number that the missing person is likely to contact you on available, in case they do try to call – or have call waiting on and ensure you answer it.
Step three – report it
If no one is able to provide much assistance, and you’re feeling suspicious because it is completely out of character for this person, call the police with as much information you have gathered as possible. It doesn’t actually matter how long the person has been missing for. If the person missing is under 18, over 65, suffering from physical or mental illness, depressed – ensure you make mention of this.
How to report it?
When you contact the police, let them know you want to file a missing person’s report.
What information will you need when making a report?
a) Basic information about the missing person
– Full name
– Date of birth
– Birthplace
– Nicknames, if any
– Current and previous addresses and who else lived there?
– Current and former employers.
b) Physical description of the missing person
– Height
– Weight
– Age
– Build
– Hair Color/Length of Hair
– Eye color?
– Any Markings – such as tattoos, birthmarks, scars, etc.
– Beard/Mustache/Sideburns
– Find the most recent photo of the missing person
c) Habits and personality of missing person
– Does the person smoke? If yes, what brand of cigarettes?
– Does the person drink alcohol? If yes, what type?
– Does the person use recreational drugs?
– Does the person chew gum?
– What type of recreation or activities does the person engage in including hobbies?
– Are there novel habits that the person has? For instance, does the person have a place where they always go for coffee?
– Does the person have particular banking habits?
– What type of personality does the person have? Is the person outgoing or quiet? Is the person friendly or depressed?
– What are the values and philosophy of the person?
– Is the person religious?
– Does the person have any emotional problems?
– What level of education or training does the person have?
– Does the person go to any particular areas, bars, taverns or places of interest?
d) Clothing that the missing person was wearing the last time seen
– Style and colour of shirt
– Style and colour of pants
– Style and colour of jacket or outerwear
– If applicable, type of headwear
– Type of glasses
– Type of gloves
– Type of footwear
e) Trip plans of the missing person the day they went missing
– What were the missing person’s plans and/or activities on the day they went missing?
– Where was he/she going? Why was he/she going there?
– Was the person traveling by car? If so, provide the make and model number, license plate number and registration.
– Does the person have access to any other vehicles or mode of travel?
f) Information about the last time the missing person was seen
– The time and location of where he/she was last seen
– The name of the person who last saw the missing person
– The name of the person who last talked at length with the missing person
– The direction the missing person was traveling the last time seen
– The attitude of the missing person the last time seen
– Was the missing person concerned about anything before he/she went missing?
g) Overall health and condition of the missing person
– Physical condition
– Any known medical problems
– Is the person suffering from Alzheimer’s disease/dementia/memory loss? If so, are they registered on Safely Home? If they are registered on Safely Home, what is their registration number? Are they wearing a Safely Home identification bracelet or carrying an identification card?
– Any handicaps or disabilities
– Any psychological problems
– Any medications that the person is taking
– Any addictions that the person has
– Provide the name of the missing person’s family physician and their health card number, if possible
– Provide the name of the missing person’s main dentist, if possible
h) Potential people that the person would contact
– List all of the people who the missing person may try to contact. Try to include addresses and telephone numbers.
Note: When the missing person’s report has been filed, ask the police for the missing person’s file number. As well, ask for contact information for the investigator in charge of the file.
The Police will likely request that there be one family contact with the police. This simplifies contact between the Police and the family. Police officers will only have to update one person about the investigation. In addition, they will know who to contact when information is needed from the family. Talk with your family and close friends about who will be the family contact. The members of your family may not want to take on this role. If so, you may decide that a close friend should be the contact person.
Step four – retrieve their belongings
Secure the personal belongings and living space of the missing person until the police provide further direction. Below is a list of items of importance.
– Items such as a hairbrush, a toothbrush, or undergarments. Investigators may need to undertake DNA analysis.
– Any electronic equipment such as a cell phone or computer. What is the make of phone and the cell phone provider? Do you know if they were active on a chat line or other social media network such as MSN, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn or Skype?
– Any personal documents such as banking statements and credit card statements as well as all bank card information.
– Any written material such as a journal.
Step five – ask the public for help
Make a poster including the person’s date of birth or age, description, where they were last seen, what they were wearing when last seen, any belongings they may have had on them, any noticeable marks or tattoos, police contact details etc. Don’t forget to include a recent head-and-shoulders photo (no sunglasses or hat, if possible). Place your appeal on as many social media channels as possible (such as Facebook) or post it on appeal websites and distribute posters around the neighbourhood (and particularly the areas they were last seen) asking people to contact the police if they have any further information. Go to the media: radio, newspaper and television!
Step six – be your own private investigator
You need to access as much information as you can. Contact their phone company and request an itemised bill so you can see who they were in contact with, get a bank statement to see if they are still withdrawing money and where, check bus stations, train stations, cruise lines and airports to see if they travelled somewhere. Check security footage, depending on where they went missing.
Step seven – keep a journal
To make things more manageable, start a log or journal. Include all information about the missing person’s case in the journal.
Step eight – tell the people that need to know
Tell all necessary people about the disappearance of the missing person. This may include the missing person’s employer, their bank, and their doctor. If the missing person is a child you will need to contact the school they are attending. If you need extended leave from work, discuss your options with your employer.
Step nine – help the missing person
You may need legal advice before proceeding with this one but you will need to arrange payments for the missing person’s mortgage or rent and other bills.
Step ten – stay as healthy as possible
In order to be useful in the search for your missing loved one, make sure you look after yourself and remain as healthy as possible. This includes eating, sleeping and exercising on a regular basis. Try not to blame yourself for the disappearance and seek counselling if required.
What NOT to do if a loved one goes missing
* Do not panic
* Do not delay in searching. Time can be of the essence
* Do not keep their disappearance a secret, the more you tell, the more people you have looking on your behalf and speedier the results might be
* Do not tidy up their bedroom until the police have seen it, mess or not
* Do not dust before fingerprints have been taken
* Don’t be put off … you know your own … follow your intuition
* Do not wait – if missing person is vulnerable, notify the police as soon as you think something is wrong
* Do not put your own telephone numbers or address on posters or advertisements, to avoid hoaxes – use the police numbers
* Do not give up, keep appealing and searching. Remember, people want to help. Try and keep the name and photo in the public eye
You should know
– Details of the missing person are kept confidential from the public unless permission has been granted by the family and investigating officers
– If the person goes missing again, they can be reported missing again – it will be treated as an individual report
– When a missing person is located, they must give permission before their whereabouts is released. It is not a crime to go missing. If it is a child, a decision will be determined around the circumstances surrounding the reasons the child went missing
– If an Australian goes missing overseas, the Australian Federal Police and the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade work with agencies in investigating these cases. Australian Red Cross, the Salvation Army and the International Social Service of Australia also work to reunite these people
– Don’t be afraid to follow up with police or people you have called to see if they have any further information and don’t feel guilty if you need to return to work
– Parental abductions are handled by the Family Court of Australia and the Australian Federal Police.
Very helpful websites
www.missingpersons.gov.au
http://www.missing.ws/checklist.htm
http://www.essex.police.uk/pdf/missing_persons.pdf
Not enough information? There’s also this extremely comprehensive list posted by “Concerned” on an Unsolved Murders forum based in Canada:
Things to do when someone goes missing
Your options
Call police
File a police report
File a border report
Hire a private investigator
Supply the police with as much of the following information as possible:
Identification Papers
Birth Certificates
Driver’s Licenses
Passports
Wallet
Alias
Vehicle (car, make, model, license, VIN)
Public transportation used and typical schedule
Credit cards/debit cards, checking account
Savings, checking accounts and loans
Health condition and state-of-health
Several recent pictures
Shoe Size/Clothing size
What last wearing
What clothing missing
Height, Weight
Hair Colour
Tattoos (pictures if possible)
Piercings
Birth marks
Identifiers
Dental records
DNA
Blood type
Scars
Past surgeries
Fingerprints
Emails, and social media accounts
Make a timeline, last seen, last talked to, last text, last messaged
Regular daily routine
Anything missing or disturbed
Who dating, who broke up with, who turned down
Provide contact information and point of contact
Recall significant events, attitudes, moods, conversations, stressors
When the trash is picked up
When the snow is removed
What has been new in their life
What has changed recently
Enemies, buddies and friends, co-workers and significant acquaintances
Medical Prescriptions
Medical Conditions
Past unsavoury behaviour (drinking, drugs, gambling, abuse, crimes)
Don’t touch anything including:
House
Car
Toothbrush
Hairbrush
Bathroom
Bedding
Purse/wallet/bank cards/passports
Garbage
Kitchen sink and dishes
Cigarette holders
Door knobs
Get media attention as soon as you can:
Make media kits
Have photographs available
Create press release/media release
Call a news conference
Visit radio stations, TV stations, Cable channels, Newspapers
Hold candlelight vigils
Hold fundraisers to raise funds for search efforts
Know how to get word out:
Post on social media pages
Post on local news blogs
Take out an advertisement in the newspaper
Create a direct mail campaign
Make an email blast campaign
Make a website
Post on missing websites and participate on their blogs
Purchase billboards, bus cards, bus stop posters
Make posters and flyers, distribute to:
— Media outlets
— Area businesses to post
— Area employers to put with paychecks
— Police forces
— Ambulance services
— Food kitchens
— Homeless shelters
— Truck Stops and Trucker pay checks
— Area hospitals
— Area mental hospitals
— Ambulance services
— Sanitation workers
— Newspaper delivery personnel (to add with their paper delivery)
— Rest Stops
— Campgrounds
— Motels/Hotels
— Places with locker and shower facilities
— Temporary employment agencies
— Transportation services (airplane, train, bus, cabs)
— Car rental facilities
— Coffee shops
— Church (bulletins, corkboards, direct distribution through newsletters)
Know how to conduct a thorough search on your own:
Door-to-door
Houses, cabins, sheds and favourite spots
Attics, rooftops, locked doors
Walking paths
Driving paths
Nearby parks
Nearby railroad tracks
Rivers, streams and lakes
Wells
Retrace their last 24 hours
Business owners videos
Dumpsters
Places where they could have fallen
Places where they could hide
Under viaducts
Camp sites
Snow banks
Cliff sides
Roadsides
Rest-stops
Contact their employer:
Look in lockers, in their desks, amongst their personal items
When did they last work?
Any problems with co-workers or boss?
When was the last performance review or raise?
Had they been reprimanded for anything lately?
Did they have any enemies?
Talk to their close co-workers
Any recent interoffice affairs?
Did they go on any business trips lately, if so who else went?
Is their desk or locker cleared out?
Make note of their vehicle:
Vehicle description (make, model, VIN, license, year)
Is it missing?
Have GPS traced on vehicle
Can local business area cameras capture its image, and whose inside?
Whose got the keys?
Did you check the trunk?
Look into their mobile phone (from their phone itself or by accessing their phone bills):
Phone every contact
Look at all text
Run GPS on their phone
Run activity report on their phone (incoming/outgoing calls, text and online activity)
Log when last activity took place
Log into their computer and conduct your own computer forensics (at home, at work, etc):
Trace their computer activities for clues to areas of interests?
What did they search?
What sites did they visit?
Look at computer history
Who did they messenger and what were those conversations?
Investigate their email activity, conversations, dating sites, social media activities, posts and messages
Log their blog activity
What sites were they members on and what was their recent activity?
Game site history, conversations and sites
Did they leave a message on their computer desktop?
Did they leave any notable documents in their computer?
Check their bank information regularly:
When was the last bank activity?
Does there still continue to be bank activity? (If so have the banks provide video)
Do they have their credit/debit cards, checks or were they left behind?
Do they have secret accounts outside of those the family is aware?
Were they in debt?
Did they have any unusual payments or withdrawals?
Did they have any unusual deposits?
Did they foreclose or go bankrupt lately?
Are their bills all paid up?
Did they have a gambling debt?
Find out about their financial situation – wills, trusts and insurance:
Did they make a will, trust or financial arrangements lately?
Did they take out a life insurance policy recently?
Did anyone else take out a life insurance policy on them?
Did they leave behind a note in their bedroom, on the computer, in a bible, at their work desk?
Consider their emotional wellbeing:
Were they depressed?
Quiet?
Abused?
Were they being bullied?
Were they in a recent relationship breakup?
Did they have any family members pass away recently?
Is this a memorable anniversary of any kind?
Did they just lose their job?
Did they lose a lot of money lately?
Were they recently diagnosed with any type of illness or disability?
Were they on any medications? If so, did they take them as prescribed? (i.e., not taking meds as prescribed, or overdosed?)
Were their dosages or brand changed?
Were their medications checked at pharmacy to insure they were correctly filled?
Were they suffering from PTSD?
Do they have a mental condition?
Do they have a medical condition?
Do they have a physical impairment?
Interview the neighbours:
Did they hear anything?
Did they see anything?
Was anything unusual lately?
Did any routines seem to change?
Were there any strange vehicles in the area?
Any strangers knock on doors lately?
When are meters read?
When is snow removed?
When is garbage taken out?
Any disputes with neighbours lately?
When do they recall last seeing person? Doing what?
Did they have any conversations lately? What about?
Search the internet for:
Human remains found
Bodies found
Bodies identified
Unidentified
Found wandering
Disoriented individual
Accidents
Area crimes
Arrests
Obituaries
News reports
Crimes around time missing in areas likely to be
Other like crimes
Newly released criminals in area
Area offender locations
And then, if you have thirty seconds having read this blog, I recommend viewing the Australian Federal Police community service announcement.
This year the National Missing Persons Coordination Centre is working in partnership with numerous mental health organisations, to inform the Australia community of the link between mental health and missing persons.
Thank you for reading, and please keep your family and friends safe – don’t forget, if you have any tips, stories or advice to please share them with us below.
All about Happiness Weekly and what’s ahead
An interview with Sarah Webb, founder of Happiness Weekly
What is Happiness Weekly?
Happiness Weekly is a blog that promotes self-awareness and personal development to not only better yourself, but also to create an impact on others around you. It’s designed to encourage proactive problem solving that respects the rights and wellbeing of others, while being mindful of how everyday dilemmas can be turned into a positive experience. Through effective communication you can still achieve what you desire, but also take into account the needs, wants and feelings of others.
When was Happiness Weekly created?
Happiness Weekly was an idea which sprouted in November 2011 and grew into a weekly commitment in 2012. When I initially started Happiness Weekly, it was actually a really difficult time for me. It felt as though the universe was closing the doors on me from all angles: my long-term boyfriend wasn’t as he’d appeared, the people in my life I thought I could count on: abandoned me. It was a very lonely time. I was forced to move back home with my parents, which included giving up my fulltime job (in hindsight this was a bad choice as I loved my job and the people I worked with at the time!). All I really had at the time was my health, and not surprisingly from the stress, that was a little hit-and-miss at the time as well. I actually began posting Happiness Weekly blogs during the eye of the storm on Friday, 25 November 2011, which is why there are long gaps between. I became more regularly committed to the concept in February 2012 and haven’t looked back! Although it was a painful thing to go through, I have not looked back. My life has now completely changed for the better. I am now passionate about enhancing the lives of others – particularly when they’re going through a hard time like mine, and sharing messages of hope and inspiration. I don’t deny that it was challenging to get where I am, but if I wasn’t proactive in the steps I took, then I may be somewhere else – and it’s knowing what steps to take and how to respond to certain situations that can seem the most daunting when you are suffering from a significant amount of personal pain – but can also be the most rewarding.
Why is it called Happiness Weekly?
Each week (generally early in the week) there is a new blog post. That means that each week my readers receive a positive message or learn something that could improve their life in a positive way, which will enhance their happiness and wellbeing. If my post each week is thought-proving enough to start a simple conversation, and raises awareness about various everyday topics and situations, and promotes effective communication, then Happiness Weekly’s goal is achieved.
What are you most passionate about in life?
My biggest passion in life is to combat bullying – in schools, workplaces and just in everyday social situations. I think it’s a highly underrated topic and so much more can be done. I would love to work for an organisation that promotes awareness and proactive solutions to bullying in a way to evict it from schools, homes, workplaces and communities. Ideally I would love to change the system enough so that every individual person bullied has someone reliable to turn to who can also help them to proactively work through their issues in a way that is assertive but doesn’t encourage the aggression to continue. It may sound idealistic, but ultimately I want to have a hand in significantly reducing bullicides across the globe. If every victim has a solution or someone to walk with them through to the solution so they are not alone, and every bully was aware of how their actions and words affect others – there’s a chance bullying could be eliminated.
There’s a lot of personal development stuff out there – what makes you different?
I love people and I talk to them! If someone writes to me or tries to communicate, I will respond as soon as I possibly can. I love inspiring people. I love sharing ideas and having other people share their ideas with me. I encourage ambition, individuality and change. I have clear values and beliefs that are the vein of every article I publish. And I’m practical – not extreme. I believe in trying new things, but don’t look at anything too extreme. I think the course section and awareness calendar information also sets Happiness Weekly apart from other blogs out there.
Where do all the ideas come from for the blogs?
A lot of my inspiration comes from my everyday life and general conversations with people. Many of my friends approach me for advice about various topics. Or I may encounter my own problems (life’s not always smooth sailing!), and that’s what I start researching that topic and ideas to positively solve it and I want to share that with my readers and strengthen their knowledge and positive actions in various areas. We can always learn something! Some of my friends, particularly my partner, will read my blog and know exactly how the idea came about – other ideas are inspired by news items, Facebook discussions, or even just overheard conversations. I’m never short on new material to work on with a great list of ideas for topics to write. I’m looking forward to 2013, as Happiness Weekly will become a lot more strategic and streamlined – and I hope to triple in my readership as I encourage more voices, ideas and sharing of my blogs.
Why do you have an events and awareness day page?
I like to think that Happiness Weekly has potential to become the number one go-to place for information on personal development courses and events. Nothing too extreme – I want anyone to be able to relate without too much explanation or thought. It’s not a religious page. I want to encourage people to come to the page to look for basic awareness days – not only in Australia but across the globe – so I have a particular focus on internationally recognised days. Some national days in America, Canada and even the United Kingdom are also celebrated on the calendar. The more recognition Happiness Weekly can give to these events, courses and awareness days, the more our world has the opportunity to grow and develop in a positive way.
What do you want to achieve with Happiness Weekly?
I work full time in marketing and public relations, but try to dedicate as much of my outside time to Happiness Weekly as possible. Sometimes things may not happen as quickly as they otherwise could (such as writing my eBook!) but they are definitely in the pipeline. There are a lot of exciting plans ahead for Happiness Weekly – so stay tuned!
Where are you based?
While my thoughts are always internationally focused, and anything I publish should cater to an audience living anywhere in the world, I am based in Sydney, Australia.
What makes you keep writing?
My passion for helping others. I’m extremely self-motivated. People say that these days in job interviews, but I generally am! Hopefully the work I do speaks for itself. Obviously the figures help, seeing my work get out there by the amount of followers, likes and readers I have is really important to me. So please, when you like a blog, share it with friends and family and pass the wisdom along. Happiness is the best gift you can give to someone.
What’s ahead for Happiness Weekly?
SO MUCH!!! I will be working with a graphic designer shortly to get a few things rolled out including a logo for Happiness Weekly and hopefully a new look and feel. I will also be working with a Sydney-based photographer to get some new photos posted up. I am introducing a few new sections including Thank You Thursdays – which encourages my readers to participate in a gratitude challenge each week. It’s a small exercise in mindfulness. I believe that when you live with gratitude, you start to notice little things and are able to find inspiration in even the simplest moments. And on Tuesdays you can receive a positive motivational quote simply by following the Facebook and Twitter pages. I’m also introducing a little blurb every time an awareness day comes up to help promote awareness for these important days. It’s going to be a busy year but I’m looking forward to it!
How to make the right decisions – it will shape your life!
Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around. Cameron Crowe
Everything we do and every path we find ourselves on is a direct result of a decision or a choice that we have made. In a world where opportunities are everywhere, possibilities are endless and temptation is never far away, it’s almost essential to have an understanding of your goals, values and what you want in life. This week Happiness Weekly investigates the best way to make a decision to ensure you stay on the right path!
Make a roadmap of your life with goals
Each decision we make will move us in a direction, so it’s important to have goals to guide us and move towards. This also helps us measure if the decision was correct for us or not – for example, at a very basic level, if it moves you closer to your goals – that was the right decision for you, but if it moves you further from your goals, you may have made the wrong decision.
Set your boundaries and stick to your values
It’s important to know your boundaries and limits and to stick to your values, this also helps us decide which decision is right for us. Some decisions are simple that can lead us to a higher quality of life such as pursuing higher education, finding a better job, improving your health etc. Remember, you need to be able to live with yourself, so it’s advisable to always be true to yourself.
Be proactive
Try to plan and make proactive rather than reactive decisions. Stick with a decision – such as accepting a better job – for as long as you can before changing again. Don’t put off decisions because tomorrow will never come – when it’s tomorrow it’s today! Once you know what you want, and you’ve set your goals, you can start taking the steps necessary to reach those goals. Decide to be happy, decide to look for the best opportunities, decide to love openly… even these decisions will start moving you to a more positive life journey.
Seek advice
There’s no shame in asking your friends what they would do in the situation before making your decision. In fact, there is a fantastic blog by Tiny Buddah where they headed to a public forum to see how other people come to make their decisions. You can read about it here.
Write it down
Sometimes those more difficult decisions seems easier to tackle when they’re on paper. Try writing yourself a list of the pros and cons of each decision outcome. Think long-term as well as short-term and try to work out which moves you closer to where you want to end up.
Think it through and consider any consequences
Take your time thinking it through. Will you be able to live with yourself tomorrow? Ask yourself: what’s the worst that can happen? Look yourself in the mirror and talk it through. Consider if you do/do not do ‘x’, how you will feel. No decision is worth suffering embarrassment, shame, uncertainty or regret. Trust your gut – intuition is key in the decision making process. Consider what your grandparents would say if they knew you choice and once you decide which decision you’re going to go with, consider how you’re feeling – if you’re anxious or stressed, it’s probably not the right decision.
Make an informed decision
Gather as much information, facts and evidence as possible to see how the decision will move you on your journey. Identify the alternatives. Evaluate each choice using your values as a guide. If it hurts you or anyone else, don’t do it!
More motivational quotes about Decision Making
Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny. Tyron Edwards
There is no problem unless we choose to make it one, so think carefully before you act. David Marshall
It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. J.K. Rowling
Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. John Maxwell
Do not plant your dreams in the field of indecision, where nothing ever grows but the weeds of “what-if”. Dodinsky
Still looking for more tips about decision making – make sure you read this fantastic blog “Am I making the right decision? 10 tips for confident decision making” by Ruchira Agrawal.
Question of the week: How do you consider your options when making an important decision?
10 reasons your friends should know about Happiness Weekly
For pleasure has no relish unless we share it. Virginia Woolf
1. You can contact the author (Sarah) easily and you’ll get a response!
One thing Happiness Weekly has is a highly interactive comments feed. If you comment or ask for advice, you will generally receive a response from me quite quickly. Contacting me, Sarah (founder and chief blogger for Happiness Weekly) is easy:
– Find me on Twitter @HappinessWeekly or
– Find my page on Facebook:
– Email me –
– Comment on my blog – I’ll receive it straight away and will respond if requested.
2. It’s more interactive than any other blog: request a blog or ask for advice
Have a suggestion for a blog? Got a problem you can’t a positive solution to? Contact me through any of the above means and I will do my best to publish an article on it in the near future. It doesn’t matter how whacky or strange your suggestion is, all ideas are welcome. Maybe you’re in a sticky situation and looking for advice on how you can maintain your wellbeing and respect others in certain situations. Personal content will not be shared and all enquiries can be anonymous but I will respond to you as soon as possible.
3. It’s a great source for events and courses
Find the best self-empowering and self-motivating courses lead by inspirational teachers on the Happiness Weekly website. Most of the courses are Australian-based at the moment but I am updating this to give it a stronger global appeal as a lot of my readers are from the United States and the United Kingdom. This page is my way of thanking readers and making it easier to connect people with proactive positive activities around the world. If you have an idea for a course or would like to add something – posting is free, please email , with the details and I’ll update the information as soon as possible.
4. Be in the know of all awareness days
Happiness Weekly includes the Internet’s most comprehensive awareness calendar! Most of these dates are celebrated internationally. In 2013 the blogs will become more strategically aligned and meaningful as Happiness Weekly continues to grow. If you know of some more awareness days and dates that aren’t on the calendar – posting is free, please contact with the details and I’ll update the calendar as soon as possible.
5. Regular blog posts – it’s my promise!
One thing Happiness Weekly promises is that you will receive a highly comprehensive blog on a different topic each week. To receive it in your email inbox, please make sure you subscribe to the blog on the homepage, alternatively like my page on Facebook or follow my Twitter feed for regular updates via social media. Blogs are generally posted at the start of the week, so keep an eye out every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday to see the latest from Happiness Weekly!
6. Receive weekly inspiring, thought-provoking and motivational quotes
Happiness Weekly releases a positive quote to think about each week via its social media pages: and . It is not necessarily related to the blog or any particular topic, but is generally something that everyone can relate to. That’s one of the best things about Happiness Weekly – not only is everyone welcome and everyone can contribute and have their say openly, but everyone is made to feel welcome as they can relate to everything posted.
7. Learn something new
It’s likely that you will learn something new every week – and why not share this knowledge with your friends, family and colleagues! The topics that Happiness Weekly posts about are extremely thoroughly researched to receive the best tips and guidance on each. The advice is proactive and simple for everyone to try. If you think I’ve missed anything or have something to add, please leave a comment. All blog-related comments are welcome on the Happiness Weekly page!
8. Expand your friendship circle with better communication
By sharing the Happiness Weekly website with your friends, it’s not only likely that your communication will improve but you will improve the communication of your friends around you. This will inevitably provide a shift as everyone is able to express their thoughts and feelings clearly and so your friendship circle will naturally develop and grow and you will naturally encourage new people into your life. Happiness Weekly is also a great conversation starter: it contains topics and information that are worthwhile sharing with your new and old friends.
9. Encourage the continuation of Happiness Weekly
The more popular Happiness Weekly becomes, the more likely it will be to continue. While the writing-style may come across as easy to follow, a lot of time and planning goes into the blogs published by Happiness Weekly which is produced by a single person. The purpose of Happiness Weekly is not to raise revenue but to simply give back to the world in a way that promotes happiness and wellbeing – because it’s not hard to be happy, but knowing how to communicate effectively and respecting others is important. If you have enjoyed a blog by Happiness Weekly, you can show your appreciation and support by simply clicking “like” in the comments field.
10. Sharing is all about helping others
Now it’s your chance to give back to the universe and pay it forward. Tell your friends about Happiness Weekly by getting them to check out the website: happinessweekly.org! Share some blog posts on your Facebook pages, repost quotes on Facebook or retweet through Twitter. Spread the word to your community and encourage them to pass it on. Help Happiness Weekly grow so we can all live in a happier and healthier world that actively promotes self-awareness, encourages fair and assertive communication and enables everyone to make the best choices they can in their situation.
Be proactive against bullying
Some people won’t be happy until they’ve pushed you to the ground. What you have to do is have the courage to stand your ground and not give them the time of day. Hold on to your power and never give it away. Donna Schoenrock
I’ve been actually really very pleased to see how much awareness was raised around bullying, and how deeply it affects everyone. You know, you don’t have to be the loser kid in high school to be bullied. Bullying and being picked on comes in so many different forms. Lady Gaga
The words of a bully can haunt for a lifetime, but a victim’s words – describing their pain – never feels enough. Unknown
More and more suicides caused by bullying, or bullycide incidents, are occurring as the brutality takes to the internet. Amanda Todd (pictured) is the recent poster girl as her story hit international headlines following a cry for help posted on YouTube. She’s not the first to take her life because of bullying and the eerie truth is: she won’t be the last.
According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics 2012, reducing bullying in schools is one of the top social issues consistently important to students across the country. It’s hard to believe that 1 in 10 students that drops out of school, does so because of repeated bullying. Celebrities, such as country singer Taylor Swift, claim to have been bullied at school. Many, including Taylor, write popular songs about their ordeal, and while this may glamorise a very ugly subject, it also raises awareness for a highly under-rated issue.
With more and more organisations fighting to combat bullying, there is still little information and support out there for victims that are suffering in silence. The scars from bullying are rarely acknowledged – possibly because past victims don’t want to open those old wounds to discuss and revisit what happened to them. I am absolutely passionate about combatting bullying – in schools and the office. More can be done! It is National Anti-Bullying Week this week (starting today), so Happiness Weekly looks at how YOU can be proactive against bullying and what more we can do.
What does bullying do to a person long-term?
It affects their…
– Self-worth: they’re so used to hearing that they’re a failure and all the things they can’t do that they’re filled with self-doubt. This affects victims for a long time after the bullying stops. It’s exhausting trying to get the energy to find self-worth again! If nothing is done, this self-doubt becomes so ingrained in the victim’s mind that when applying for jobs or going for a promotion, they will tend not to over-extend themselves and will stick to roles they are confident they can do. Not out of laziness, but out of doubt. Doubts they only have because other people put them there.
– Commitments: They will probably avoid any situation where they feel as though they will be harassed, caged-in, anxious, bullied or defeated. This could affect things such as serious relationships and job prospects going forward – because if something that is said is taken the wrong way, that person who was once a victim of bullying will replay the tape in their mind and feel the same emotions they felt at the time of the bullying, can take it a lot more personally than originally intended and will more than likely avoid the situation by leaving the relationship or job – which could ultimately affect their career.
More symptoms published by the Herald Sun are available here or read what victims and bullies say upon reflection here.
*** BE PROACTIVE AGAINST BULLYING ***
Generally adults with power (teachers, parents and managers) will tell victims not to respond or fight back: “just ignore it” – an unproductive response that doesn’t validate their feelings or needs. We all need to start taking responsibility and empowering our youth! Children need to learn assertive communication and be given practical tips for how to overcome the feelings they have after suffering at the hands of bullies. Some more practical solutions and alternatives to the “just ignore it” response, may include:
VICTIM: What you can do before it becomes a problem
– Choose not to be the victim (avoid the bully, don’t play into their hands)
– Seek courses in leadership, conflict management, assertive communication, self-esteem
– Be proactive in shifting your focus from the suffering and feelings of self-worth and guilt
– Find a way to take advantage of the situation – look for the lessons, let it strengthen you
– Speak to the school counsellor, a teacher or year advisor: suggest an afterschool class for victims – if you’re at work, speak to your HR department recommend team building if the bully is in your team and see if you can find a common ground to relate to them
– Tell your parents or a close friend and ask them to take part in an educational program with you
Remember, bullying doesn’t stop in high school – statistics show that workplace bullying and harassment is on the rise. The fact is you can’t change the bully or make them go away, but you can change yourself (choose not to be the victim), take control and ultimately change the result.
BULLY: What you can do before it becomes a problem
– Find out what is causing them to be nasty and need the power associated with bullying
– Fill the void with a healthy alternative such as taking a class: kindness, leadership, anger management, mindfulness programs etc.
– Speak to a counsellor
– Avoid toxic friends and people who support or encourage the behaviour
Bullies need to first realise they have a problem before they can be proactive in seeking the help and guidance they need. A key area to shift the bully’s focus is to concentrating on how they can change for the better and becoming the best person possible.
PARENT: What you can do before it becomes a problem
– Communicate a zero-tolerance for bullying behaviour by applying negative consequences if displayed. Clear, fair and significant consequences may include grounding, repaying stolen money, restoring damage etc.
– Teach your child to control their anger productively
– Teach your child good values and behaviours, tell them that their behaviour affects others
– If you find your child bullying someone, ask them to explain their events before turning them in (this is the best way for them to take responsibility)
If your child is being bullied:
– Keep a diary of any injuries, report physical assaults to the school and police
– Monitor your child’s friendships and whereabouts.
FACTS AND STATISTICS
– One student in every four in Australian schools is affected by bullying, says recent research commissioned by the Federal Government
– An estimated 200 million children and youth around the world are being bullied by their peers, according to the 2007 Kandersteg Declaration Against Bullying in Children and Youth
– According to the Centre for Adolescent Health, kids who are bullied are three times more likely to show depressive symptoms
– Children who were bullied were up to nine times more likely to have suicidal thoughts
– Girls who were victims of bullying in their early primary school years were more likely to remain victims as they got older, according to British research
– Girls were much more likely than boys to be victims of both cyber and traditional bullying, says a recent Murdoch Children’s Research Institute study
– Young people who bully have a one in four chance of having a criminal record by the age of 30
– Bullying is the fourth most common reason young people seek help from children’s help services.
– Around the world, more than one in six children are bullied at school, every week. More than one in six employees are bullied at work, and some research suggests that more employees are bullied at work!
– Bullying causes billions of damage to everyone concerned, the target, bully, onlookers, families, school, workplace, employers and the community.
– Bullying causes accumulative layers of primary and secondary injuries. These include physical, psychological, social and identity injuries. It can affect studies, career, relationships and financial wellbeing. It can cause a severe Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, lasting many years.
BEATING THE CYBER BULLIES
What is CYBER BULLYING?
Cyber bullying chases victims onto the Internet – it involves the digital communication (text messages, emails, phone calls, internet chat rooms, instant messages and social media using sights such as Bebo, Facebook and MySpace) to support, deliberate, repeated and hostile behaviour.
While it’s fantastic that technology is evolving, unfortunately bullying is evolving with it which means you can be bullied anywhere, any time – even receiving cruel taunts in the privacy of your own bedroom. Studies show that cyber bullying is on the rise, with one third of teenagers in a recent survey having had mean, threatening or embarrassing things said about them online. Stop Cyber Bullying Day is this Wednesday, 14 November 2012.
What can you do to prevent cyber bullying happening to you?
Tell someone you trust: parent, friend, teacher, school counsellor, neighbour etc.
Block the cyber bully: delete your social media account, or simply empower yourself by blocking the cyber bully. Unsure how? Check with your phone or internet service provider or ask Google.
Report it: Report abuse on Facebook/MySpace, alternatively your ISP or phone provider may help provide a log which you can take to your school, university, place of work or even the police.
Keep the evidence: Keep any texts, emails, online conversations or voicemails as evidence which can help track down the bully. If you’re tempted to look at it, keep a log including the time and date it took place to avoid further torturing yourself.
Change your details: Get a new phone number, a new username for the internet, a new email … and ensure only your closest friends get the new information.
Happiness Weekly’s suggested solution to assist victims of cyber bullying and provide an alternative to bullycide
Now that the internet is becoming more popular, and is certainly a place that bullies turn to in order to further insult and humiliate their victims, more can be done right here – online! And I don’t mean more information and more facts…
A quick Google search retrieves information on schoolyard and workplace bullying. Sprinkled with a few stats and facts – suggesting you are not alone. The fact is anyone who is being bullied – for whatever reason – feels alone. No one can take the sting away, but someone can be there to listen and support those in need.
If Happiness Weekly had the capacity to become an anti-bullying organisation, the first thing I would suggest would be an online support group for those being bullied. That’s right – let’s take some of the people off the phones for Lifeline and sit them on a computer to share advice and help these kids (or adults) without them having to speak a word.
And I’m not talking about a lazy forum with a single moderator – I mean a full on page, where people can INDIVIDUALLY talk to a counsellor they choose in a chat session. FOR FREE! The government should support this – with trained professionals. The aim of the idea is to offer 24 hour support, seven days a week, on an international level.
Making a phone call is powerful, but how many kids refuse to talk? Saying it out loud may mean admitting the problem, it may be failure, it may mean kids won’t seek help. Having somewhere online, where kids can set up an appointment with an expert (possibly via text?), join a chat room or even meet them on MSN Messenger, Windows Live or even Skype and just chat it out for an hour or two – feel validated and then put some positive advice into practice could be what leads to a saved nation.
I admit that I am exceptionally passionate about this idea and that stems from having being bullied. The thing is, I didn’t call a helpline for fear someone would overhear the conversation, leading to further embarrassment – and admitting the problem out loud is also unsettling, while it may be the first step to recovery. Our counselling professionals and specialists need to band together to create a safe-haven online and produce some real-time online support – that way victims will always have someone there for them when they need them without the fear of being overheard.
If such a network existed, there would certainly be a reduction in bullicides. Start locally, if a counsellor, or five, from each state got together, we could start with Australia – with the hope of expanding the movement as a global support hub.
What is often overlooked is that bullying not only affects those who are being traumatised, but also those who are watching on. Such a support group could offer real-time advice to school counsellors out of ideas, or people watching victims who won’t defend themselves.
A lot of bullying has taken to Social Media sites such as Facebook and Twitter, and they need to stand up and take responsibility as well. Why not employ hackers to shut down access from their IP address – or no hackers, just block the IP address from accessing their site anymore. Bullies will get tired of buying new computers eventually! Nip it in the bud! Don’t block an email account, they can easily start a new one and continue their horrible mission… wipe their IP from having access to your system – ever again! People that bully online are not responsible enough to re-join social networking communities.
What do you think? Would it work? Why or why not?
Need support? You can speak to trained counsellors by phoning these 24-hour telephone counselling services:
Lifeline 13 11 14
Kids Help Line
Information and support is also available from the following websites:
Beyondblue – http://www.beyondblue.org.au
Youth Beyondblue – http://www.youthbeyondblue.com
Info Line
Sane
More organisations that recognise bullying as a major problem:
– Happiness Weekly (there’s more practical and beneficial things to do than bullying!)
– World Kindness Australia
– Enough is Enough
– Human Rights Anti Bullying
– Beat bullying
Please remember Bullying Awareness Week starts today and Anti Bullying Week in the UK follows the week after. Donate to the above organisations, spread word about them to friends and colleagues or be proactive this week against bullying!
Please leave your suggestions for how we could be more proactive against bullying below. Alternatively if you are interested in discussing the topic further or need more direct assistance, contact me and I’ll get back to you! Bullycide is completely preventable. Stop bullying.
Top 10 positive reads … online!
To read is to fly: it is to soar to a point of vantage which gives a view over wide terrains of history, human variety, ideas, shared experience and the fruits of many inquiries. A C Grayling
Most people log onto the internet every day, and yet we still have our ups and downs. Perhaps all you need is some inspiration or a bit of a laugh to give you more energy on certain days … you just need to know where to look. So I have compiled a list of my top 10 favourite (non-cult-like) websites that inspire me and help me stay happy when life feels like it’s getting harder. The best things in life are free – just like your happiness and these fantastic websites!
1. Happiness Weekly (www.happinessweekly.wordpress.com – nothing like a bit of self-promotion!) Read on to get some great tips for how to maintain gain or maintain happiness in different situations. You happiness is something that can be worked on all the time. When you’re happy, the people surrounding you will also be happy.
2. Action for happiness (www.actionforhappiness.org) – you’re not going to be happy without taking action first! This is a fantastic organisation offering many inspiring and insightful messages to move you towards happiness. Follow them on Facebook and Twitter to keep up-to-date!
3. Oprah Winfrey’s website (www.oprah.com) – check out her blog! Whether she writes it or not, it’s a great way to fill in time and it’s impossible to walk away feeling miserable – it’s like an episode of Oprah in writing!
4. In need of a good laugh? When times are tough and you’ve lost all ability to laugh at yourself – laugh at other people (and their thoughts and creations) by checking out these sites:
www.clientsfromhell.net
www.slaymyboredom.com
www.9gag.com
www.happyplace.com
5. Motivational wellbeing (www.motivationalwellbeing.com) – if you’re feeling down you may just be in need of a little motivation and this is the place to get it! Check out some great videos, articles, quotes, tips and tricks here – all about motivation!
6. Happy fun corp (www.happyfuncorp.com) – this one is a little different. There’s not a lot to do on the webpage but listen to music (and it suggests dancing?) and read happy thoughts. The part I like most is that readers can contribute and share their own happy thoughts as well.
7. Dramatic reading from a break up (www.youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnd.com) – Just get your heart stomped on in a tragic break up? Finding it impossible to smile? This dramatic reading is bound to make you laugh!
8. Positively positive (www.positivelypositive.com) – this is a fantastic little positive news site with some great quotes. At its core, Positively Positive is about optimism and inspiration. About seeing the possibility within each person—and within each day gifted us. It’s about wisdom and how we lift one another up to richer, more fulfilling lives. It’s about tapping into our true nature and capacity.
9. Optimist World (www.optimistworld.com) – possibly the best and most up-to-date news site I could find. Optimist World brings you positive news which shows the very best of the human spirit and helps to show that good news can help to counteract the bad by reminding us what an amazing world we live in. This website seeks to bring to light those inspirational stories that are often not picked up by the TV channels or newspapers to provide an antidote with good news and positive tales.
10. Positivity blog (www.positivityblog.com) – very similar to Happiness Weekly, this blog gives advice, tips and strategies that you need to succeed with living more consciously, simplifying your life, being happier, creating new habits, improving your self-discipline, reducing procrastination, learning to be mindful, getting into shape, identifying and understanding your blocks, improving your people skills and relationships and increasing your self-esteem and self-confidence.
Why we love quotes
A fine quotation is a diamond in the hand of a man of wit and a pebble in the hand of a fool.
Joseph Roux
A current trend on Facebook and Twitter is to post images of quotes. You know the type – with the inspiring background and words in front of it. Or even just the words slapped onto a pretty average background … or sometimes no background at all. If you’re keen to tune into some of these on your Facebook page, I recommend looking at: Quotes for You, I love Quotes, Positive Inspirational Quotes (PIQ) and Words to Live By – Motivational and Inspiring Quotes.
The question is: why are these quotes so popular? Is it that we can all relate to them in some way and grow from them? Is it because they can say what most of us can only feel?
The quotes I’m referring to (as published below) generally push us forward, inspire us and make us feel motivated and uplifted. It gives us a sense of hope. Today I am sharing some of my favourite quote images (and even just pictures that speak). Enjoy!
Beauty in pictures:
