Happiness Weekly’s best tips for helping others
You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you. John Bunyan
The efficiencies of the internet are moving us towards a more insular world and it is becoming more difficult to be mindful of helping others. According to the Dalai Lama that is our sole purpose in being here on earth – to share our compassion and help others.
The Pay It Forward movement has been particularly active on Facebook this year. You may have noticed several posts that read:
“To start this year off in a caring way I’m participating in this Pay-It-Forward initiative:
I don’t usually buy into these things, but due to a recent act of generosity I have decided to get involved, this is for real.
The first five people who comment on this status with “I’m in”, will receive a surprise from me at some point in this calendar year – anything from a book, a ticket, a visit, something home grown or made, a postcard, absolutely any surprise!
There will be no warning and it will happen when the mood comes over me and I find something that I believe would suit you and make you happy.
These five people must make the same offer in their Facebook status and distribute their own joy. Simply copy this text onto your profile (don’t share) so we can form a web of connection and kindness.
Let’s do more nice and loving things for each other in 2014, without any reason other than to make each other smile and to show that we think of each other. Here’s to a more enjoyable, more friendly and love-filled year.”
So while our modern world seems to be encouraging selfishness, greed and isolation – Happiness Weekly looks at some ways that you can help others this week without having an agenda of your own. Truly helping others means there’s nothing in it for you – in fact, the person you may help may never be able to repay you and that’s the ultimate aspiration in truly helping others.
The benefits of helping others includes:
– Connecting you to someone in an otherwise very lonely world
– Enhancing someone else’s life
– Making the world a better place to live
Things you can do to help others
– Teach them something new
– Smile and be friendly
– Volunteer for a charity
– Start your own charity
– Make a donation
– Share your knowledge
– Help someone do something – e.g. cross the street, change a flat tyre, get from A to B
– Donate something you don’t use
– Comfort someone
– Buy food for a homeless person
– Listen to someone
– Do a chore for someone
– Send a nice email
– Share your favourite things (movie, song etc) – if you enjoyed it, someone else may too
– Give a loved-one a massage
– Praise someone publicly
– Be patient with someone
– Tutor a child
– Make a care package for someone
– Speak up for someone – sign a petition, write a letter etc.
– Offer to babysit
– Share what you have
– Find out what’s valuable to someone and get it for them
– Present an opportunity to someone or make them aware of it
– Give transparent feedback to better performance (without being too critical)
– Introduce people to each other, help people network
– Give someone a gift
– Do something nice for someone without expecting anything in return
– Welcome a new neighbour by baking for them
– Use your power to help people around you have a good day
– Only see good in people and treat everyone accordingly
We’re all here together and the only certainty is we have one life and we’re living it now. Help others to be the best they can be where ever you can, because if everyone surrounding you is doing the same, imagine the powerful world we would live in.
Pages that helped inspire this blog:
http://www.zenhabits.net/25-ways-to-help-a-fellow-human-being-today
http://www.forbes.com/sites/johnhall/2013/05/26/10-ways-to-help-others-that-will-lead-you-to-success
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-help-someone-who-wont-help-themselves
https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org/get-started/outside-the-classroom/volunteering-how-helping-others-helps-you
What to do if your loved one goes missing
We do not suffer from the shock of our trauma, but we make out of it just what suits our purposes. Alfred Adler.
I couldn’t imagine anything more distressing than a loved-one going missing. Last year, I remember flicking on the news one evening and there was Tom Meagher pleading for public assistance in finding his wife, Jill Meagher. That scene struck a chord for me and has since been etched in my mind. Meanwhile, the story itself, which came to a devastatingly grisly end with too light a punishment, struck a chord with hundreds of thousands of women across Australia. The fact that the offender is even contemplating appealing his sentence will have many Australians up in arms. As it stands, many have taken to the internet with suggested solutions: tougher parole laws, chemical castration for repeat offenders, life in solitary confinement… 30 years will never be enough to console the Meagher family or the Australian public for their loss.
However, this blog is not about Jill’s story or Tom’s relentless quest to find his beautiful wife – it is designed to assist everyone in our communities, across the globe, in staying safe and knowing what to do if someone we love does go missing.
A missing person is defined as anyone who is reported missing to the police, whose whereabouts is unknown and there are reasonable circumstances to cause serious concerns and/or fears for their safety or welfare.
Each year in Australia an estimated 35,000 people are reported missing according to the Australian Federal Police – that’s one person every 15 minutes. Meanwhile, in the UK approximately 210,000 people are reported missing each year – this includes The Sun’s frightening statistic that a child disappears every three minutes. And throughout the USA in 2012, the National Crime Information Centre recorded 661,593 missing persons, and of these reports: 2,079 remain unsolved.
Thankfully, in most reported incidences of a missing person, the people are quickly located after being reported missing. But with statistics as high as these, it’s important to know what to do if one of your loved ones happens to go missing.
There are many reasons people go missing, but some include anxiety and depression, misadventure, homelessness, dementia, domestic violence, becoming a victim of crime, drugs/alcohol abuse, family dysfunction and conflict and other mental health issues.
This week from Monday, 29 July until Sunday, 4 August it is National Missing Persons Week with a mental health theme, and to promote it, Happiness Weekly is going to look at what you can do if someone you love goes missing.
Step one – keep calm and make some calls
Naturally, your first instinct is going to be to panic. It’s best to conserve your energy for finding your missing loved one. Once you have sufficient reason to believe your loved one is missing, start making contact with people associated with your loved one and ask if they know where the person may be. You may also want to broaden your search without doing it all yourself and ask each person you make contact with to do some calling around. Be sure to keep a record of everyone you speak with (name, time, phone number) because you may be calling back to let them know the person has been found and thank them for their help.
Step two – stay by the phone
Have someone stay by the phone, or if you’re using a mobile – carry it on you at all times – in case someone has an update. Keep the number that the missing person is likely to contact you on available, in case they do try to call – or have call waiting on and ensure you answer it.
Step three – report it
If no one is able to provide much assistance, and you’re feeling suspicious because it is completely out of character for this person, call the police with as much information you have gathered as possible. It doesn’t actually matter how long the person has been missing for. If the person missing is under 18, over 65, suffering from physical or mental illness, depressed – ensure you make mention of this.
How to report it?
When you contact the police, let them know you want to file a missing person’s report.
What information will you need when making a report?
a) Basic information about the missing person
– Full name
– Date of birth
– Birthplace
– Nicknames, if any
– Current and previous addresses and who else lived there?
– Current and former employers.
b) Physical description of the missing person
– Height
– Weight
– Age
– Build
– Hair Color/Length of Hair
– Eye color?
– Any Markings – such as tattoos, birthmarks, scars, etc.
– Beard/Mustache/Sideburns
– Find the most recent photo of the missing person
c) Habits and personality of missing person
– Does the person smoke? If yes, what brand of cigarettes?
– Does the person drink alcohol? If yes, what type?
– Does the person use recreational drugs?
– Does the person chew gum?
– What type of recreation or activities does the person engage in including hobbies?
– Are there novel habits that the person has? For instance, does the person have a place where they always go for coffee?
– Does the person have particular banking habits?
– What type of personality does the person have? Is the person outgoing or quiet? Is the person friendly or depressed?
– What are the values and philosophy of the person?
– Is the person religious?
– Does the person have any emotional problems?
– What level of education or training does the person have?
– Does the person go to any particular areas, bars, taverns or places of interest?
d) Clothing that the missing person was wearing the last time seen
– Style and colour of shirt
– Style and colour of pants
– Style and colour of jacket or outerwear
– If applicable, type of headwear
– Type of glasses
– Type of gloves
– Type of footwear
e) Trip plans of the missing person the day they went missing
– What were the missing person’s plans and/or activities on the day they went missing?
– Where was he/she going? Why was he/she going there?
– Was the person traveling by car? If so, provide the make and model number, license plate number and registration.
– Does the person have access to any other vehicles or mode of travel?
f) Information about the last time the missing person was seen
– The time and location of where he/she was last seen
– The name of the person who last saw the missing person
– The name of the person who last talked at length with the missing person
– The direction the missing person was traveling the last time seen
– The attitude of the missing person the last time seen
– Was the missing person concerned about anything before he/she went missing?
g) Overall health and condition of the missing person
– Physical condition
– Any known medical problems
– Is the person suffering from Alzheimer’s disease/dementia/memory loss? If so, are they registered on Safely Home? If they are registered on Safely Home, what is their registration number? Are they wearing a Safely Home identification bracelet or carrying an identification card?
– Any handicaps or disabilities
– Any psychological problems
– Any medications that the person is taking
– Any addictions that the person has
– Provide the name of the missing person’s family physician and their health card number, if possible
– Provide the name of the missing person’s main dentist, if possible
h) Potential people that the person would contact
– List all of the people who the missing person may try to contact. Try to include addresses and telephone numbers.
Note: When the missing person’s report has been filed, ask the police for the missing person’s file number. As well, ask for contact information for the investigator in charge of the file.
The Police will likely request that there be one family contact with the police. This simplifies contact between the Police and the family. Police officers will only have to update one person about the investigation. In addition, they will know who to contact when information is needed from the family. Talk with your family and close friends about who will be the family contact. The members of your family may not want to take on this role. If so, you may decide that a close friend should be the contact person.
Step four – retrieve their belongings
Secure the personal belongings and living space of the missing person until the police provide further direction. Below is a list of items of importance.
– Items such as a hairbrush, a toothbrush, or undergarments. Investigators may need to undertake DNA analysis.
– Any electronic equipment such as a cell phone or computer. What is the make of phone and the cell phone provider? Do you know if they were active on a chat line or other social media network such as MSN, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn or Skype?
– Any personal documents such as banking statements and credit card statements as well as all bank card information.
– Any written material such as a journal.
Step five – ask the public for help
Make a poster including the person’s date of birth or age, description, where they were last seen, what they were wearing when last seen, any belongings they may have had on them, any noticeable marks or tattoos, police contact details etc. Don’t forget to include a recent head-and-shoulders photo (no sunglasses or hat, if possible). Place your appeal on as many social media channels as possible (such as Facebook) or post it on appeal websites and distribute posters around the neighbourhood (and particularly the areas they were last seen) asking people to contact the police if they have any further information. Go to the media: radio, newspaper and television!
Step six – be your own private investigator
You need to access as much information as you can. Contact their phone company and request an itemised bill so you can see who they were in contact with, get a bank statement to see if they are still withdrawing money and where, check bus stations, train stations, cruise lines and airports to see if they travelled somewhere. Check security footage, depending on where they went missing.
Step seven – keep a journal
To make things more manageable, start a log or journal. Include all information about the missing person’s case in the journal.
Step eight – tell the people that need to know
Tell all necessary people about the disappearance of the missing person. This may include the missing person’s employer, their bank, and their doctor. If the missing person is a child you will need to contact the school they are attending. If you need extended leave from work, discuss your options with your employer.
Step nine – help the missing person
You may need legal advice before proceeding with this one but you will need to arrange payments for the missing person’s mortgage or rent and other bills.
Step ten – stay as healthy as possible
In order to be useful in the search for your missing loved one, make sure you look after yourself and remain as healthy as possible. This includes eating, sleeping and exercising on a regular basis. Try not to blame yourself for the disappearance and seek counselling if required.
What NOT to do if a loved one goes missing
* Do not panic
* Do not delay in searching. Time can be of the essence
* Do not keep their disappearance a secret, the more you tell, the more people you have looking on your behalf and speedier the results might be
* Do not tidy up their bedroom until the police have seen it, mess or not
* Do not dust before fingerprints have been taken
* Don’t be put off … you know your own … follow your intuition
* Do not wait – if missing person is vulnerable, notify the police as soon as you think something is wrong
* Do not put your own telephone numbers or address on posters or advertisements, to avoid hoaxes – use the police numbers
* Do not give up, keep appealing and searching. Remember, people want to help. Try and keep the name and photo in the public eye
You should know
– Details of the missing person are kept confidential from the public unless permission has been granted by the family and investigating officers
– If the person goes missing again, they can be reported missing again – it will be treated as an individual report
– When a missing person is located, they must give permission before their whereabouts is released. It is not a crime to go missing. If it is a child, a decision will be determined around the circumstances surrounding the reasons the child went missing
– If an Australian goes missing overseas, the Australian Federal Police and the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade work with agencies in investigating these cases. Australian Red Cross, the Salvation Army and the International Social Service of Australia also work to reunite these people
– Don’t be afraid to follow up with police or people you have called to see if they have any further information and don’t feel guilty if you need to return to work
– Parental abductions are handled by the Family Court of Australia and the Australian Federal Police.
Very helpful websites
www.missingpersons.gov.au
http://www.missing.ws/checklist.htm
http://www.essex.police.uk/pdf/missing_persons.pdf
Not enough information? There’s also this extremely comprehensive list posted by “Concerned” on an Unsolved Murders forum based in Canada:
Things to do when someone goes missing
Your options
Call police
File a police report
File a border report
Hire a private investigator
Supply the police with as much of the following information as possible:
Identification Papers
Birth Certificates
Driver’s Licenses
Passports
Wallet
Alias
Vehicle (car, make, model, license, VIN)
Public transportation used and typical schedule
Credit cards/debit cards, checking account
Savings, checking accounts and loans
Health condition and state-of-health
Several recent pictures
Shoe Size/Clothing size
What last wearing
What clothing missing
Height, Weight
Hair Colour
Tattoos (pictures if possible)
Piercings
Birth marks
Identifiers
Dental records
DNA
Blood type
Scars
Past surgeries
Fingerprints
Emails, and social media accounts
Make a timeline, last seen, last talked to, last text, last messaged
Regular daily routine
Anything missing or disturbed
Who dating, who broke up with, who turned down
Provide contact information and point of contact
Recall significant events, attitudes, moods, conversations, stressors
When the trash is picked up
When the snow is removed
What has been new in their life
What has changed recently
Enemies, buddies and friends, co-workers and significant acquaintances
Medical Prescriptions
Medical Conditions
Past unsavoury behaviour (drinking, drugs, gambling, abuse, crimes)
Don’t touch anything including:
House
Car
Toothbrush
Hairbrush
Bathroom
Bedding
Purse/wallet/bank cards/passports
Garbage
Kitchen sink and dishes
Cigarette holders
Door knobs
Get media attention as soon as you can:
Make media kits
Have photographs available
Create press release/media release
Call a news conference
Visit radio stations, TV stations, Cable channels, Newspapers
Hold candlelight vigils
Hold fundraisers to raise funds for search efforts
Know how to get word out:
Post on social media pages
Post on local news blogs
Take out an advertisement in the newspaper
Create a direct mail campaign
Make an email blast campaign
Make a website
Post on missing websites and participate on their blogs
Purchase billboards, bus cards, bus stop posters
Make posters and flyers, distribute to:
— Media outlets
— Area businesses to post
— Area employers to put with paychecks
— Police forces
— Ambulance services
— Food kitchens
— Homeless shelters
— Truck Stops and Trucker pay checks
— Area hospitals
— Area mental hospitals
— Ambulance services
— Sanitation workers
— Newspaper delivery personnel (to add with their paper delivery)
— Rest Stops
— Campgrounds
— Motels/Hotels
— Places with locker and shower facilities
— Temporary employment agencies
— Transportation services (airplane, train, bus, cabs)
— Car rental facilities
— Coffee shops
— Church (bulletins, corkboards, direct distribution through newsletters)
Know how to conduct a thorough search on your own:
Door-to-door
Houses, cabins, sheds and favourite spots
Attics, rooftops, locked doors
Walking paths
Driving paths
Nearby parks
Nearby railroad tracks
Rivers, streams and lakes
Wells
Retrace their last 24 hours
Business owners videos
Dumpsters
Places where they could have fallen
Places where they could hide
Under viaducts
Camp sites
Snow banks
Cliff sides
Roadsides
Rest-stops
Contact their employer:
Look in lockers, in their desks, amongst their personal items
When did they last work?
Any problems with co-workers or boss?
When was the last performance review or raise?
Had they been reprimanded for anything lately?
Did they have any enemies?
Talk to their close co-workers
Any recent interoffice affairs?
Did they go on any business trips lately, if so who else went?
Is their desk or locker cleared out?
Make note of their vehicle:
Vehicle description (make, model, VIN, license, year)
Is it missing?
Have GPS traced on vehicle
Can local business area cameras capture its image, and whose inside?
Whose got the keys?
Did you check the trunk?
Look into their mobile phone (from their phone itself or by accessing their phone bills):
Phone every contact
Look at all text
Run GPS on their phone
Run activity report on their phone (incoming/outgoing calls, text and online activity)
Log when last activity took place
Log into their computer and conduct your own computer forensics (at home, at work, etc):
Trace their computer activities for clues to areas of interests?
What did they search?
What sites did they visit?
Look at computer history
Who did they messenger and what were those conversations?
Investigate their email activity, conversations, dating sites, social media activities, posts and messages
Log their blog activity
What sites were they members on and what was their recent activity?
Game site history, conversations and sites
Did they leave a message on their computer desktop?
Did they leave any notable documents in their computer?
Check their bank information regularly:
When was the last bank activity?
Does there still continue to be bank activity? (If so have the banks provide video)
Do they have their credit/debit cards, checks or were they left behind?
Do they have secret accounts outside of those the family is aware?
Were they in debt?
Did they have any unusual payments or withdrawals?
Did they have any unusual deposits?
Did they foreclose or go bankrupt lately?
Are their bills all paid up?
Did they have a gambling debt?
Find out about their financial situation – wills, trusts and insurance:
Did they make a will, trust or financial arrangements lately?
Did they take out a life insurance policy recently?
Did anyone else take out a life insurance policy on them?
Did they leave behind a note in their bedroom, on the computer, in a bible, at their work desk?
Consider their emotional wellbeing:
Were they depressed?
Quiet?
Abused?
Were they being bullied?
Were they in a recent relationship breakup?
Did they have any family members pass away recently?
Is this a memorable anniversary of any kind?
Did they just lose their job?
Did they lose a lot of money lately?
Were they recently diagnosed with any type of illness or disability?
Were they on any medications? If so, did they take them as prescribed? (i.e., not taking meds as prescribed, or overdosed?)
Were their dosages or brand changed?
Were their medications checked at pharmacy to insure they were correctly filled?
Were they suffering from PTSD?
Do they have a mental condition?
Do they have a medical condition?
Do they have a physical impairment?
Interview the neighbours:
Did they hear anything?
Did they see anything?
Was anything unusual lately?
Did any routines seem to change?
Were there any strange vehicles in the area?
Any strangers knock on doors lately?
When are meters read?
When is snow removed?
When is garbage taken out?
Any disputes with neighbours lately?
When do they recall last seeing person? Doing what?
Did they have any conversations lately? What about?
Search the internet for:
Human remains found
Bodies found
Bodies identified
Unidentified
Found wandering
Disoriented individual
Accidents
Area crimes
Arrests
Obituaries
News reports
Crimes around time missing in areas likely to be
Other like crimes
Newly released criminals in area
Area offender locations
And then, if you have thirty seconds having read this blog, I recommend viewing the Australian Federal Police community service announcement.
This year the National Missing Persons Coordination Centre is working in partnership with numerous mental health organisations, to inform the Australia community of the link between mental health and missing persons.
Thank you for reading, and please keep your family and friends safe – don’t forget, if you have any tips, stories or advice to please share them with us below.
How to be inspired
If we look at the world with a love of life, the world will reveal its beauty to us. Daisaku Ikeda
People often ask me how I get inspired to write my blog posts – how do I always have a topic to address? Where do I find my inspiration? How do I know what people want to read? The truth is, my instincts tell me.
I have a basic plan that I follow throughout the year which prevents me from getting “writers block”, and I sometimes blog a couple of weeks ahead to ensure I fulfil my commitment of a blog a week – after all, it is Happiness Weekly! But my inspiration comes from living my daily life. If something comes up professionally or personally that I have learnt from, particularly any big lessons, then I will share that instead of going ahead with the planned blog. I keep my ear out and my heart on my sleeve – generally if I’m passionate about it and it’s something I am feeling at the time, it comes through my writing.
But it’s not just writing. Often when we’re depressed or feeling out of sorts, we can spend long periods of time at home, lounging around or in bed. This week Happiness Weekly looks at how you can be inspired to get up and go every day!
1. Have something to look forward to
Often when things become routine they can also become a bit boring or demotivating and we start to drop off as our passion for something we may have once enjoyed, also dims. Whether it’s a job, going to the gym, or even catching up with our partner – our feelings for things are always changing. The way to resolve this problem effectively is to always have something to look forward to. If it’s work getting you down – set up a lunch with a colleague you enjoy spending time with or find a local walk you enjoy that you could only do by working in your location or find a boutique shop nearby that you enjoy going to and go during your lunch break; if it’s the gym, perhaps scheduling a reward after you go to the gym, or mix up your routine to keep it interesting … or just weigh yourself – it generally works for me! And if you’re having a lull with your partner, don’t threat – we all do! Why not plan a nice date night out – often people forget how great it feels to dress up really nicely and enjoy the company of our favourite person in the world. Spice things up. Go away for a weekend. Instead of rejecting your partner, as many of us do during those lulls, encourage them to come closer – the hug and kiss at the end of the night make everything worth it!
2. Remind yourself why it’s important to do what you’re doing
Sometimes, no matter how much I enjoy my job, I find myself dragging my feet to work. Maybe I feel I have too much on my plate and I’m burdened; maybe I disappointed a colleague the day before and I’m scared of repercussions… I have done two things to prevent this from happening. First of all, I have made a promise to myself to look forward to every day no matter what – because each day is a gift, not a right (thank you, Nickelback!) and secondly, I remind myself how lucky I am to have a job in the first place. I look at everything I have, the bills I’m paying, the clothes on my back … and no matter how hard everything feels, I realise how fortunate I am to have this role and I continue to promise myself to do the best I can in that role every day that I am there. If this positive thinking isn’t helping, go with your negativity – what would it be like without this role? Have you ever been unemployed? Speak to someone who doesn’t have a full time role at the moment who is seeking work and believe me, it will be a ten minute conversation before you’re appreciating what you have again! Nothing is more depressing than not having a purpose to get out of bed each morning.
3. Know what you want
As outlined above, sometimes in order to be inspired, you need to dig a little deep into what is really bothering you and find out what you really want from your situation. Spend a weekend once every few months to reassess what you really want out of life. What is your motivation, your ambition, your purpose for being on earth. Start planning how you will chase your dream – even if you only start with a course or trying something slightly new, the only thing holding you back from getting what you want is you.
4. Find out what others want
If you’re looking to be inspired, and you’re completely directionless with your life – you’re not alone! You can resolve this by simply finding out what other people want from their lives. Ask a few friends about their interests and passions. Once you have this information you can have a look through it and take the ideas that you like and disregard the ideas that don’t resonate with you as much. I always find that finding various ways that I may be able to inspire others also helps to inspire me.
5. Fill the voids
Have you ever got that feeling where you have so much … STUFF … in your life but you feel completely empty? Like nothing you have is anything you want or need? And then it’s hard to know what to do next … we can’t have a garage sale with our life! You need to stop filling your life up with things and start looking for the voids and finding what you can do to satisfy these areas in your life. Soul searching is required and it may be exhausting – if you need help, a good psychologist or life coach is recommended.
6. Write it down
I must drive you all crazy with the amount of things I say to write down. Maybe it’s because I enjoy writing lists (as some of you may have noticed?) – but by writing down the things that inspire you, you have a tangible list to refer back to. Then if you’re feeling lost or stuck for inspiration at a later date, you can refer back to it again.
7. Take photos/screenshots
When you find something that inspires or motivates you, take a screenshot or photo of it. If it makes you laugh, take a video on your phone – post it to your Facebook page – trust me, you will still find yourself laughing when you look back in time to come. If you appreciate something now, you may well appreciate it later. By taking a photo or screenshot of something that inspires us, it makes our feelings towards that thing more vivid – it takes us back to the time when the photo was taken and draws us into the picture, that’s what photography can be so powerful.
8. Talk to people and LISTEN
Talking to people can generally involve listening to their thoughts and feelings about certain things, but if you listen really hard, you can build on that for yourself. Similar to trying to find out what others want, you can draw your inspiration from everyday conversation – the same way you can drop something you’ve been working on and pick it up a week later with a fresh perspective to create it into something better. This is actually a powerful one – it is mainly through talking to people and really listening to what they have to say that I am mostly inspired for my Happiness Weekly blogs! Let’s hope people still talk to me once they read this…!
Other ways to be inspired include: getting back to nature – taking a walk or going camping, calling a friend, reading something, listening to music, smelling something, listening to an expert, reading, exercising, eating something, meditating, free-writing, doing something different or trying something new, reading a biography, interviewing someone you admire, watching something interesting or different on television, search for more ideas on the internet…
Learn something every day
Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow, Anthony J. D’Angelo
The saying goes ‘you learn something every day’, and if you’re open to it – you actually do! From learning you are able to grow and develop and ultimately it will affect your life and wellbeing in many positive ways. Learning new things opens us to change. It assists us in making informed decisions, encourages curiosity, exposes us to new ideas, and keeps us engaged. Learning can also bring us a sense of accomplishment, boosting self-esteem and confidence as we can demonstrate and speak about what we now know. But the question is: how can you be open to learning every day?
There is no one set thing that everyone can do to learn something every day. The key is being open to learning. When you talk to people, be genuinely interested in the response to your questions. Having respect for the person who is teaching you something new is critical. Listen to the experts or talk to someone you trust in the field, otherwise you will find it more difficult to take on board.
Share your knowledge and skills with friends and family, and encourage them to share with you. Join a club, start a course, ask for opinions and encourage the sharing of ideas – all of these things will help us to grow as much as receiving formal training and qualifications.
How to be open to learn something every day
- Prepare to learn something every day. Think to yourself “If someone asks me what I learned today, what will I say?” Actively seek to understand things you don’t already know about
- Use the Internet to research about something you’ve wanted to know. Why the sky is blue, how aeroplanes stay up, the background of your favourite movie or play, how Helen Keller made it to become so famous etc.
- Read a dictionary or encyclopaedia. It won’t be long before you find yourself reading about something you didn’t already know
- Talk to people. It could be anyone! An expert, a teacher, a friend – even a complete stranger will have a story and the ability to teach you something new
- Keep yourself open to learning something new. Pay attention. Listen actively and attentively. Be present in all situations. Keep yourself inspired and encourage child-like curiosity
- Watch educational television. It’s time to get Foxtel and start watching the History Channel or National Geographic etc. If you’re in Australia, SBS and the ABC also have some highly educational programs. Even talk shows such as Oprah and the Tyra Banks Show have something they can teach you. Even YouTube will have plenty of educational clips for you
- Start reading newspapers, magazines, blogs, novels, autobiographies, billboards, Wikipedia, facts, figures, statistics… anything you can find!
- Look to the internet. There’s this fantastic blog by Marc (from Marc and Angel) about Top 40 useful sites to learn new skills – take a look, you never know!
- Ask questions. There’s no such thing as a silly question – even if it’s how you spell a name like “Smith” – there are many ways to spell names! So ask before you question yourself about asking the question and stop yourself from learning and growing
How to learn something quickly
- Associate it with something (this is also why history tends to repeat itself in bad relationship)
- Use a visualisation technique. Get a vivid mental image of what you’re learning, see it in as much detail in your mind as you can
- Rhyme it with something or make a song about it
- Make index or flash cards about it
- Listen to it. Ask a friend to read it to you or read it into a Dictaphone and play it back to yourself when you’re relaxed. Use inflections in your voice as they do on the radio to keep it interesting
- Research and read about it until you completely understand it. Once you understand how something works, it will be easy to remember it
- Ensure your teacher is someone you respect. It’s a lot easier to listen to a teacher you have respect for than someone you think doesn’t really know what they’re talking about
- Write it down – you could even keep a notebook of all the things you learn each day, it will bring you satisfaction when you look back on it to reflect and you’ll never forget your lessons!
- Nicole Willson, James Quirk and Flickety wrote a very comprehensive WikiHow about “How to Memorize” including various techniques for all learning styles. It is well worth the read!
What have you learned recently and how did you learn it?
All about Happiness Weekly and what’s ahead
An interview with Sarah Webb, founder of Happiness Weekly
What is Happiness Weekly?
Happiness Weekly is a blog that promotes self-awareness and personal development to not only better yourself, but also to create an impact on others around you. It’s designed to encourage proactive problem solving that respects the rights and wellbeing of others, while being mindful of how everyday dilemmas can be turned into a positive experience. Through effective communication you can still achieve what you desire, but also take into account the needs, wants and feelings of others.
When was Happiness Weekly created?
Happiness Weekly was an idea which sprouted in November 2011 and grew into a weekly commitment in 2012. When I initially started Happiness Weekly, it was actually a really difficult time for me. It felt as though the universe was closing the doors on me from all angles: my long-term boyfriend wasn’t as he’d appeared, the people in my life I thought I could count on: abandoned me. It was a very lonely time. I was forced to move back home with my parents, which included giving up my fulltime job (in hindsight this was a bad choice as I loved my job and the people I worked with at the time!). All I really had at the time was my health, and not surprisingly from the stress, that was a little hit-and-miss at the time as well. I actually began posting Happiness Weekly blogs during the eye of the storm on Friday, 25 November 2011, which is why there are long gaps between. I became more regularly committed to the concept in February 2012 and haven’t looked back! Although it was a painful thing to go through, I have not looked back. My life has now completely changed for the better. I am now passionate about enhancing the lives of others – particularly when they’re going through a hard time like mine, and sharing messages of hope and inspiration. I don’t deny that it was challenging to get where I am, but if I wasn’t proactive in the steps I took, then I may be somewhere else – and it’s knowing what steps to take and how to respond to certain situations that can seem the most daunting when you are suffering from a significant amount of personal pain – but can also be the most rewarding.
Why is it called Happiness Weekly?
Each week (generally early in the week) there is a new blog post. That means that each week my readers receive a positive message or learn something that could improve their life in a positive way, which will enhance their happiness and wellbeing. If my post each week is thought-proving enough to start a simple conversation, and raises awareness about various everyday topics and situations, and promotes effective communication, then Happiness Weekly’s goal is achieved.
What are you most passionate about in life?
My biggest passion in life is to combat bullying – in schools, workplaces and just in everyday social situations. I think it’s a highly underrated topic and so much more can be done. I would love to work for an organisation that promotes awareness and proactive solutions to bullying in a way to evict it from schools, homes, workplaces and communities. Ideally I would love to change the system enough so that every individual person bullied has someone reliable to turn to who can also help them to proactively work through their issues in a way that is assertive but doesn’t encourage the aggression to continue. It may sound idealistic, but ultimately I want to have a hand in significantly reducing bullicides across the globe. If every victim has a solution or someone to walk with them through to the solution so they are not alone, and every bully was aware of how their actions and words affect others – there’s a chance bullying could be eliminated.
There’s a lot of personal development stuff out there – what makes you different?
I love people and I talk to them! If someone writes to me or tries to communicate, I will respond as soon as I possibly can. I love inspiring people. I love sharing ideas and having other people share their ideas with me. I encourage ambition, individuality and change. I have clear values and beliefs that are the vein of every article I publish. And I’m practical – not extreme. I believe in trying new things, but don’t look at anything too extreme. I think the course section and awareness calendar information also sets Happiness Weekly apart from other blogs out there.
Where do all the ideas come from for the blogs?
A lot of my inspiration comes from my everyday life and general conversations with people. Many of my friends approach me for advice about various topics. Or I may encounter my own problems (life’s not always smooth sailing!), and that’s what I start researching that topic and ideas to positively solve it and I want to share that with my readers and strengthen their knowledge and positive actions in various areas. We can always learn something! Some of my friends, particularly my partner, will read my blog and know exactly how the idea came about – other ideas are inspired by news items, Facebook discussions, or even just overheard conversations. I’m never short on new material to work on with a great list of ideas for topics to write. I’m looking forward to 2013, as Happiness Weekly will become a lot more strategic and streamlined – and I hope to triple in my readership as I encourage more voices, ideas and sharing of my blogs.
Why do you have an events and awareness day page?
I like to think that Happiness Weekly has potential to become the number one go-to place for information on personal development courses and events. Nothing too extreme – I want anyone to be able to relate without too much explanation or thought. It’s not a religious page. I want to encourage people to come to the page to look for basic awareness days – not only in Australia but across the globe – so I have a particular focus on internationally recognised days. Some national days in America, Canada and even the United Kingdom are also celebrated on the calendar. The more recognition Happiness Weekly can give to these events, courses and awareness days, the more our world has the opportunity to grow and develop in a positive way.
What do you want to achieve with Happiness Weekly?
I work full time in marketing and public relations, but try to dedicate as much of my outside time to Happiness Weekly as possible. Sometimes things may not happen as quickly as they otherwise could (such as writing my eBook!) but they are definitely in the pipeline. There are a lot of exciting plans ahead for Happiness Weekly – so stay tuned!
Where are you based?
While my thoughts are always internationally focused, and anything I publish should cater to an audience living anywhere in the world, I am based in Sydney, Australia.
What makes you keep writing?
My passion for helping others. I’m extremely self-motivated. People say that these days in job interviews, but I generally am! Hopefully the work I do speaks for itself. Obviously the figures help, seeing my work get out there by the amount of followers, likes and readers I have is really important to me. So please, when you like a blog, share it with friends and family and pass the wisdom along. Happiness is the best gift you can give to someone.
What’s ahead for Happiness Weekly?
SO MUCH!!! I will be working with a graphic designer shortly to get a few things rolled out including a logo for Happiness Weekly and hopefully a new look and feel. I will also be working with a Sydney-based photographer to get some new photos posted up. I am introducing a few new sections including Thank You Thursdays – which encourages my readers to participate in a gratitude challenge each week. It’s a small exercise in mindfulness. I believe that when you live with gratitude, you start to notice little things and are able to find inspiration in even the simplest moments. And on Tuesdays you can receive a positive motivational quote simply by following the Facebook and Twitter pages. I’m also introducing a little blurb every time an awareness day comes up to help promote awareness for these important days. It’s going to be a busy year but I’m looking forward to it!
10 reasons your friends should know about Happiness Weekly
For pleasure has no relish unless we share it. Virginia Woolf
1. You can contact the author (Sarah) easily and you’ll get a response!
One thing Happiness Weekly has is a highly interactive comments feed. If you comment or ask for advice, you will generally receive a response from me quite quickly. Contacting me, Sarah (founder and chief blogger for Happiness Weekly) is easy:
– Find me on Twitter @HappinessWeekly or
– Find my page on Facebook:
– Email me –
– Comment on my blog – I’ll receive it straight away and will respond if requested.
2. It’s more interactive than any other blog: request a blog or ask for advice
Have a suggestion for a blog? Got a problem you can’t a positive solution to? Contact me through any of the above means and I will do my best to publish an article on it in the near future. It doesn’t matter how whacky or strange your suggestion is, all ideas are welcome. Maybe you’re in a sticky situation and looking for advice on how you can maintain your wellbeing and respect others in certain situations. Personal content will not be shared and all enquiries can be anonymous but I will respond to you as soon as possible.
3. It’s a great source for events and courses
Find the best self-empowering and self-motivating courses lead by inspirational teachers on the Happiness Weekly website. Most of the courses are Australian-based at the moment but I am updating this to give it a stronger global appeal as a lot of my readers are from the United States and the United Kingdom. This page is my way of thanking readers and making it easier to connect people with proactive positive activities around the world. If you have an idea for a course or would like to add something – posting is free, please email , with the details and I’ll update the information as soon as possible.
4. Be in the know of all awareness days
Happiness Weekly includes the Internet’s most comprehensive awareness calendar! Most of these dates are celebrated internationally. In 2013 the blogs will become more strategically aligned and meaningful as Happiness Weekly continues to grow. If you know of some more awareness days and dates that aren’t on the calendar – posting is free, please contact with the details and I’ll update the calendar as soon as possible.
5. Regular blog posts – it’s my promise!
One thing Happiness Weekly promises is that you will receive a highly comprehensive blog on a different topic each week. To receive it in your email inbox, please make sure you subscribe to the blog on the homepage, alternatively like my page on Facebook or follow my Twitter feed for regular updates via social media. Blogs are generally posted at the start of the week, so keep an eye out every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday to see the latest from Happiness Weekly!
6. Receive weekly inspiring, thought-provoking and motivational quotes
Happiness Weekly releases a positive quote to think about each week via its social media pages: and . It is not necessarily related to the blog or any particular topic, but is generally something that everyone can relate to. That’s one of the best things about Happiness Weekly – not only is everyone welcome and everyone can contribute and have their say openly, but everyone is made to feel welcome as they can relate to everything posted.
7. Learn something new
It’s likely that you will learn something new every week – and why not share this knowledge with your friends, family and colleagues! The topics that Happiness Weekly posts about are extremely thoroughly researched to receive the best tips and guidance on each. The advice is proactive and simple for everyone to try. If you think I’ve missed anything or have something to add, please leave a comment. All blog-related comments are welcome on the Happiness Weekly page!
8. Expand your friendship circle with better communication
By sharing the Happiness Weekly website with your friends, it’s not only likely that your communication will improve but you will improve the communication of your friends around you. This will inevitably provide a shift as everyone is able to express their thoughts and feelings clearly and so your friendship circle will naturally develop and grow and you will naturally encourage new people into your life. Happiness Weekly is also a great conversation starter: it contains topics and information that are worthwhile sharing with your new and old friends.
9. Encourage the continuation of Happiness Weekly
The more popular Happiness Weekly becomes, the more likely it will be to continue. While the writing-style may come across as easy to follow, a lot of time and planning goes into the blogs published by Happiness Weekly which is produced by a single person. The purpose of Happiness Weekly is not to raise revenue but to simply give back to the world in a way that promotes happiness and wellbeing – because it’s not hard to be happy, but knowing how to communicate effectively and respecting others is important. If you have enjoyed a blog by Happiness Weekly, you can show your appreciation and support by simply clicking “like” in the comments field.
10. Sharing is all about helping others
Now it’s your chance to give back to the universe and pay it forward. Tell your friends about Happiness Weekly by getting them to check out the website: happinessweekly.org! Share some blog posts on your Facebook pages, repost quotes on Facebook or retweet through Twitter. Spread the word to your community and encourage them to pass it on. Help Happiness Weekly grow so we can all live in a happier and healthier world that actively promotes self-awareness, encourages fair and assertive communication and enables everyone to make the best choices they can in their situation.
Relationship Advice: How to fight fair
An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.
Mahatma Gandhi
Name calling, threats of breaking up, yelling – we’ve all done it. Relationships are not always smooth sailing and conflicts can be hurtful, even when they are quickly resolved. Learning to fight fair is essential for the future of any healthy, loving relationship.
While experts say conflict is healthy – there is little material available teaching us how to fight fairly when we are upset or hurt, and it’s this information that could save our relationships and avoid any further hurt being caused. So, how can we fight fair without hurting our relationship or the partner we love?
Listen to your partner
If your partner is picking a fight with you – it may be out of character. Perhaps acknowledging that they are not in a good mood and asking what you could do to help, may be enough to prevent the argument from escalating. This is particularly useful if it is clear that your partner has already had a difficult day at work – or if it is you that has had a challenging day, be open about it rather than picking a fight.
Keep the conversation relevant
Bringing up past conflicts or other agendas that have upset you in the past, and trying to talk about them while dealing with the problem at hand, will only lead to confusion in the communication. By the end of the conflict, you both may have put all kinds of bad things together and have forgotten how the dispute started but have no resolution and be both upset and hurt. Stick to the issue at hand, identify the problem and search for a single solution, rather than likening it to other issues you may have had.
Avoid talking about the future
Now is certainly not the time to talk about the future. If you’re arguing, you’ll both be hurting and this is where one or other of you can say something you regret. Cutting off something that may or may not happen in the future because of something that is happening now is not ideal. For example, your partner leaves dirty dishes in the sink – and you’re already fighting about your in-laws – so you add: “That’s it! I’m not moving in with you while you leave your dishes in the sink!” Comments like this are unnecessary, and will only exasperate the situation and intensify your partner’s upset and anger towards you. When and if it came time to moving in with each other – both parties habits will naturally change over time as you adjust to living together. Trust that this will happen and avoid adding anything else unnecessarily.
Don’t make any decisions
Never end a relationship while you’re having a fight. Wait until things calm down, and then you can make your decision. This will save you from having any regrets about your decision and prevent your relationship from appearing on-again and off-again to those around you. Avoid making threats or saying “always” or “never” – you may regret it later.
Ensure both parties are ready before you fight
Don’t fight after one of you has already had a hard day, you’re just adding to the burden and hurting the person. If both parties are ready for a heated debate, then neither party should “win” – which ultimately damages the relationship. Know when the argument is over and let it go. Always give your partner an out to maintain their dignity. If either party are not ready to fight – don’t fight at that time, to be fair, put it on an agenda for another time. Bed time is time out – never go to sleep on an argument.
Don’t say hurtful things intentionally
Avoid the temptation of temporarily feeling empowered in an argument by using your confidential knowledge of your partner’s weaknesses and sensitive to “win” an argument. Remember, when you’re fighting fairly, there is only compromise – there are no winners.
Show that you’re listening: seek feedback and clarification
Without it feeling as though you’re entering couples therapy, open up your communication as much as possible, to find the information your partner is upset about so you can seek to correct it. “Sweety, what I hear you’re saying is that you think I share too many of our personal details with my girlfriends, is that right?” That gives your partner a chance to correct you or not. You can even ask your partner how they would prefer you to communicate and behave in future so they are happy and satisfied. Nobody intentionally wants to see their partner upset.
Be open to change and learning
Don’t waste a good fight by not learning from it. Be open to change and permit growth as you extract insight and information from each argument you have in your relationship. Implement specific and realistic changes immediately – for example, it could be agreed that if your partner appears tense, you are able to encourage them to talk about it, rather than remaining silent as has been done in the past.
Be real
If you are serious about fighting fairly and having positive outcomes from a dispute, deal with the issue at hand, not with a symptom of the problem. Be honest about what’s really bothering you, or you will walk away from the exchange even more frustrated.
Focus on the solution, not the problem
Once you finish your initial vent and release some anger, focus on finding the solution. Attack the problem, not your partner. Search for the win-win compromise. At the end of the day remember you are on the same team – you’re working towards a common goal: you both want to be loved and appreciated, and remain in a happy relationship.
Come back to it
If you start to feel exhausted or warn down from the fight, explain that you don’t think you’re going to reach a decision on it at the moment and you may need to come back to it at a later date. Give each other the ability to withdraw or change their mind.
Things to avoid
– Referring to past mistakes or incidences – it won’t help anything: it will only cause more pain and frustration to both parties
– Blaming your partner – take mutual responsibility where you can
– Comparing to others, situations or stereotypes
– Playing games – now is not the time: be straight about your feelings and direct about what you want or need in a situation
– Involving other people – the fight is between two people only
– Interrupting – maintain your respect for your partner. Also avoid negative non-verbal expressions such as rolling your eyes, smirking, yawning, finger pointing, crossing your arms, appearing bored etc
– Separation talk. Talking this way will quickly erode your partner’s confidence in your commitment to the relationship. Trust is not easily restored once it is broken in this way
– Assuming. Always be open to your partners side, don’t try to read their mind or expect them to read yours. Find out what went wrong and how you can improve for next time
– Using defensive behaviour. Don’t defend or justify or you lock yourself into a position of right and wrong – which is like blaming. It perpetuates rather than resolves conflict
– Stonewalling. NO stonewalling when you are trying to resolve conflict. Shutting down, withdrawing, or refusing to engage is generally perceived to mean that you just don’t care about the issue at hand, or worse yet, the person to whom you are speaking. It comes across as insulting and demeaning. Communicate if you need a break, let the person know you need a break and you will resume the conversation again shortly. And keep your word!
Remember: Just because you have a disagreement, doesn’t mean your partner no longer loves you. If you are on the same team and you truly love each other, you will work it out. If the love is lost, let it go, there’s no point holding onto a hot coal or fixing something on your own. Part of being in a partnership means it will take two to work through things, every time.
Top 10 positive reads … online!
To read is to fly: it is to soar to a point of vantage which gives a view over wide terrains of history, human variety, ideas, shared experience and the fruits of many inquiries. A C Grayling
Most people log onto the internet every day, and yet we still have our ups and downs. Perhaps all you need is some inspiration or a bit of a laugh to give you more energy on certain days … you just need to know where to look. So I have compiled a list of my top 10 favourite (non-cult-like) websites that inspire me and help me stay happy when life feels like it’s getting harder. The best things in life are free – just like your happiness and these fantastic websites!
1. Happiness Weekly (www.happinessweekly.wordpress.com – nothing like a bit of self-promotion!) Read on to get some great tips for how to maintain gain or maintain happiness in different situations. You happiness is something that can be worked on all the time. When you’re happy, the people surrounding you will also be happy.
2. Action for happiness (www.actionforhappiness.org) – you’re not going to be happy without taking action first! This is a fantastic organisation offering many inspiring and insightful messages to move you towards happiness. Follow them on Facebook and Twitter to keep up-to-date!
3. Oprah Winfrey’s website (www.oprah.com) – check out her blog! Whether she writes it or not, it’s a great way to fill in time and it’s impossible to walk away feeling miserable – it’s like an episode of Oprah in writing!
4. In need of a good laugh? When times are tough and you’ve lost all ability to laugh at yourself – laugh at other people (and their thoughts and creations) by checking out these sites:
www.clientsfromhell.net
www.slaymyboredom.com
www.9gag.com
www.happyplace.com
5. Motivational wellbeing (www.motivationalwellbeing.com) – if you’re feeling down you may just be in need of a little motivation and this is the place to get it! Check out some great videos, articles, quotes, tips and tricks here – all about motivation!
6. Happy fun corp (www.happyfuncorp.com) – this one is a little different. There’s not a lot to do on the webpage but listen to music (and it suggests dancing?) and read happy thoughts. The part I like most is that readers can contribute and share their own happy thoughts as well.
7. Dramatic reading from a break up (www.youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnd.com) – Just get your heart stomped on in a tragic break up? Finding it impossible to smile? This dramatic reading is bound to make you laugh!
8. Positively positive (www.positivelypositive.com) – this is a fantastic little positive news site with some great quotes. At its core, Positively Positive is about optimism and inspiration. About seeing the possibility within each person—and within each day gifted us. It’s about wisdom and how we lift one another up to richer, more fulfilling lives. It’s about tapping into our true nature and capacity.
9. Optimist World (www.optimistworld.com) – possibly the best and most up-to-date news site I could find. Optimist World brings you positive news which shows the very best of the human spirit and helps to show that good news can help to counteract the bad by reminding us what an amazing world we live in. This website seeks to bring to light those inspirational stories that are often not picked up by the TV channels or newspapers to provide an antidote with good news and positive tales.
10. Positivity blog (www.positivityblog.com) – very similar to Happiness Weekly, this blog gives advice, tips and strategies that you need to succeed with living more consciously, simplifying your life, being happier, creating new habits, improving your self-discipline, reducing procrastination, learning to be mindful, getting into shape, identifying and understanding your blocks, improving your people skills and relationships and increasing your self-esteem and self-confidence.
How to encourage, motivate and inspire others
Treat a man as he appears to be, and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he already were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be. Von Goethe
In a world where there is so much choice and people are extremely conscious of their decisions and the consequences of them, it is very hard to motivate, influence, encourage or inspire a group of people with a single motivational technique.
What motivates people?
Different things motivate different people. Some say the call to action simply needs to appeal to people’s values – but that’s pretty broad. Some suggest that it’s more 50/50 – all it takes is a simple call-to-action and a willingness to do them. Then there are the step solutions:
Step 1 – Clearly articulate the call to action and why
Step 2 – Involve people in finding the solutions
Step 3 – Explain the rules
Step 4 – Link personal goals to organisational goals
Step 5 – Eliminate the weakest links (aka negative people).
There isn’t really a single one-stop-shop to motivating people – it’s a simple fact that different things will motivate different people. There is never any one thing that can motivate a whole crowd of unfamiliar strangers to do the same call to action. It will always appeal to some and not to others. However, generally if there is a need – there’s a motivation, so if you want to motivate someone to change or to do something then you must first understand his needs and wants, then tie the change to these needs. Ultimately, the more you understand a person or the audience you wish to motivate, the easier it will be to access their triggers and get them to do as you ask.
How to motivate people and encourage them to do what you want to do?
Accessing triggers is easy. Show them a picture to remind them of something, play a song that will take them back to a moment in time… whatever key you use doesn’t matter as long as it opens the doors to the target person’s mind.
Once you have motivated your target audience, you need to:
– Follow up with a call to action – tell people exactly what you want them to do
– Keep your request simple – limit the time or effort that people need to put in to do your call to action and set a date so people have something to work towards
– Set the example and share in the sacrifice. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander
– What’s in it for them? Appeal to people’s positive emotions and highlight the thrill of achievement with little extras that cause excitement, pride and a sense of belonging (being part of a team)
– List multiple reasons WHY you want them to do what you’re asking
– Challenge your target audience. Inspire them by being creative and challenge them to reach slightly beyond their limits
How to encourage people
– Show genuine interest. Ask open-ended questions. Listen actively
– Acknowledge what’s important to them. Affirm and validate what they are saying and believe
– Congratulate them. Worthwhile things take time and effort, acknowledge that you have seen what they have done and say “well done”. These words of encouragement at the right time can make a big difference to someone’s motivation
– Be grateful for the small things. Use your manners, it lets your friends know they’ve done something worthwhile and meaningful
– Reciprocate the favour. Show your appreciation by reciprocating – it’s like a pendulum
– Be spontaneous. This delivers maximum impact. Such acts can reach them at an emotional level and we are hard-wired to respond to emotional things
– Confide in them. It’s a form of flattery!
– Offer to help. If someone sees that you are willing to commit your time and energy in their interests, they will be more committed to seeing it through.
Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be. Ralph Waldo Emerson
How to inspire people to be their best
– Be a courageous role model – take risks and lead by example
– Have a strong vision on how things should be, be forward thinking and share your perspective
– Reject politics – spend your energy on positive things
– Value other people’s input, perspective and encourage collaboration
– Set goals and work to exceed them before starting on the next challenge
– Show empathy – try to understand their world and how it feels and help them move ahead to be their best
– Be inspired by others and share your role models with people, explain what it is that they’re doing that inspires you
– Express your enthusiasm as often as possible. People are drawn to positive people
– Make people feel good about themselves. People will rarely remember what you did, but they will always remember how you made them feel
– Share lessons from your successes and failures
– Focus on the positive. Everything that happens in life is neither good nor bad: it just depends on your perspective.
Love equals happiness
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. Mahatma Gandhi
There’s no denying it – love makes us happy!
When someone is in love with something, they are drawn to it and want to be near that person or thing as often as possible. I am frequently asked what draws me to someone that I date. My only response is that it depends how that person makes me feel. Over time, I have learnt that it’s not about what the person does for me – they could have all the money in the world and buy me the most expensive presents, but I still won’t feel that connection. You would have heard the sayings: “Money doesn’t buy you happiness” and “Actions speak louder than words”. In fact, Irwin Federman says it: “People love others not for who they are, but for how they make them feel”.
With this in mind, never try to buy someone’s love. Unfortunately we don’t have control over whether someone loves us, so while it’s ok to put thought into buying someone a nice present, it’s not ok to buy someone something outrageous in the hope of getting love in return. This means, the best way to love someone this Valentine’s Day is not with a gift – it’s to SHOW them!
How to show someone you love them (it doesn’t have to be romantic!)
– Take them on a picnic or go camping together
– Give them a massage
– Dance with them
– Cook for them
– Kiss the palm of their hand
– Ask them how their day was, and listen
– Go star-gazing on a clear night
– Write them a card including how they make you feel
– Watch funny YouTube clips together
– Text to say you’re thinking of them
– Go to a theme park together
– Share your goals and ambitions in life
– Make one of their dreams come true
– Remember the things they tell you (especially any of their favourite things)
– Make a collage of your favourite times together
– Have a photo date – where you take your photo together in as many places as possible
– Go to the movies together.