To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. E. E. Cummings.
No one knows what tomorrow brings, and with life throwing up various obstacles at us, things can change in a moment. Never get too comfortable with what you have, because you never know when you may lose it. So while many of us are so busy with our day-to-day lives with as much routine as possible, such as working full time to earn money to survive, going to the gym, shopping for groceries etc., it can be difficult to catch up with yourself which will often leave you feeling forgotten, empty, or even depressed. Even if you bypass these feelings, you may display a lack of confidence, appear anxious or moody, and generally not be you usual self. It is your responsibility to look after yourself – it is one of those things that no one can do for you.
Schedule time for yourself EVERY DAY
Spend some time doing affirmations or another self-soothing activity (it could be painting your nails, reading a book, cooking a nice dinner – as long as you enjoy it) every single day. Don’t wait until you’ve lost yourself or you’re burnt out to realise you haven’t been being good to yourself.
Use the time to assess your current life
Ensure that you are on path with your own personal values and goals. Ask yourself how your day went. How could you improve tomorrow? Write down what you have learnt from the day. If you had a great day – consider what made it a good day for you and how you could repeat it every day.
Consider what you want for tomorrow
Every now and then you will need to look at the direction you are travelling. Sometimes we need to alter our path to stay on track, other times we may realise we need to make more time for ourselves and make adjustments to our current schedule that way.
Plan a day once a month, fortnight, or week, when you spoil yourself. Take yourself on a date you have always wanted to go on, see that movie no one has time to see with you, buy yourself the bunch of flowers you love or the perfume that’s slightly too expensive.
Look after yourself
Get plenty of sleep, eat properly, exercise regularly… if you’re not looking after yourself you happiness will deplete and you will not function as well. Ensure you are getting enough vitamins, minerals, and sunshine!
Setting time aside for yourself is as important as setting time aside to catch up with any of your friends. Make sure you find a balance in your daily life and remember to put yourself first. By putting yourself first you will start gaining a lot of self-respect which gives you confidence to go forward.
It’s a horrible feeling when a family member, a friend or someone we think we know disappoints us. Consider this: You’ve cleared a day of your weekend to spend it with a friend. When you call to make final arrangements that morning, they have other plans. You spend the rest of the day feeling let down.
Here’s some tips on how to avoid this situation:
BE ORGANISED – MAKE YOUR PLAN EARLY
Make a plan of what you want to do with that friend. Call them EARLY to discuss your idea and let them know you’re looking forward to it and will confirm details the day before. I suggest making a Plan B in case your original plan falls through – anything can happen at the last minute and it may be outside anyone’s control.
MAKE A PLAN B
Plan B is very important because it’s all about you. So if you’re crushed with disappointment, you’re not at a complete loose end. Even if it’s as simple as watching a specific movie at home by yourself, taking your dog to the park or baking a cake – make Plan B all about you and select an activity that you will still look forward to.
Once you have your plan with your friend sorted, give them a call (the earlier the better) and let them know what you have in mind. Finish the call by telling that person you’re really looking forward to seeing them and you will call the day before to confirm final arrangements including your meeting time and place. That way, the person can pencil it in their calendar without knowing everything.
Call your friend the day before your engagement as you promised. Finalise all details. If plans fall through at this point, then you still have time to make other plans with another friend, so don’t let it dishearten you. If plans are going ahead, then great!
KEEP PLAN B IN MIND
Up until the moment that you see your friend, keep Plan B in mind. This means your plans and happiness aren’t dependant on someone else and outside forces. It’s keeping you in control of the situation. Also remember that your real friends enjoy your company and will also be looking forward to your plans so will be unlikely to disappoint.
In summary – to avoid disappointment:
- Expect the best but prepare for the worst
- Make sure your goals/plans are realistic
- Live to your standards and expectations, be reliable, act with integrity
- Accept that you don’t have control over someone else or outside forces
- Avoid having any expectations
- Don’t rely on anyone or anything for your happiness
- Believe in second chances – some people are just like that – accept it
- Realise that when things don’t work out straight away, it’s not the end of the world – sometimes it can work out even better than you expected.