Tag Archive | Dalai Lama

Happiness Weekly’s best tips for helping others

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You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you. John Bunyan

The efficiencies of the internet are moving us towards a more insular world and it is becoming more difficult to be mindful of helping others. According to the Dalai Lama that is our sole purpose in being here on earth – to share our compassion and help others.

The Pay It Forward movement has been particularly active on Facebook this year. You may have noticed several posts that read:

“To start this year off in a caring way I’m participating in this Pay-It-Forward initiative:

I don’t usually buy into these things, but due to a recent act of generosity I have decided to get involved, this is for real.

The first five people who comment on this status with “I’m in”, will receive a surprise from me at some point in this calendar year – anything from a book, a ticket, a visit, something home grown or made, a postcard, absolutely any surprise!

There will be no warning and it will happen when the mood comes over me and I find something that I believe would suit you and make you happy.

These five people must make the same offer in their Facebook status and distribute their own joy. Simply copy this text onto your profile (don’t share) so we can form a web of connection and kindness.

Let’s do more nice and loving things for each other in 2014, without any reason other than to make each other smile and to show that we think of each other. Here’s to a more enjoyable, more friendly and love-filled year.”

So while our modern world seems to be encouraging selfishness, greed and isolation – Happiness Weekly looks at some ways that you can help others this week without having an agenda of your own. Truly helping others means there’s nothing in it for you – in fact, the person you may help may never be able to repay you and that’s the ultimate aspiration in truly helping others.

 

The benefits of helping others includes:
-          Connecting you to someone in an otherwise very lonely world
–          Enhancing someone else’s life
–          Making the world a better place to live

Things you can do to help others
-          Teach them something new
–          Smile and be friendly
–          Volunteer for a charity
–          Start your own charity
–          Make a donation
–          Share your knowledge
–          Help someone do something – e.g. cross the street, change a flat tyre, get from A to B
–          Donate something you don’t use
–          Comfort someone
–          Buy food for a homeless person
–          Listen to someone
–          Do a chore for someone
–          Send a nice email
–          Share your favourite things (movie, song etc) – if you enjoyed it, someone else may too
–          Give a loved-one a massage
–          Praise someone publicly
–          Be patient with someone
–          Tutor a child
–          Make a care package for someone
–          Speak up for someone – sign a petition, write a letter etc.
–          Offer to babysit
–          Share what you have
–          Find out what’s valuable to someone and get it for them
–          Present an opportunity to someone or make them aware of it
–          Give transparent feedback to better performance (without being too critical)
–          Introduce people to each other, help people network
–          Give someone a gift
–          Do something nice for someone without expecting anything in return
–          Welcome a new neighbour by baking for them
–          Use your power to help people around you have a good day
–          Only see good in people and treat everyone accordingly

We’re all here together and the only certainty is we have one life and we’re living it now. Help others to be the best they can be where ever you can, because if everyone surrounding you is doing the same, imagine the powerful world we would live in.

Pages that helped inspire this blog:
http://www.zenhabits.net/25-ways-to-help-a-fellow-human-being-today
http://www.forbes.com/sites/johnhall/2013/05/26/10-ways-to-help-others-that-will-lead-you-to-success
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-help-someone-who-wont-help-themselves
https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org/get-started/outside-the-classroom/volunteering-how-helping-others-helps-you

How to recover from a break up quickly

heart-broken

When you break up, your whole identity is shattered. It’s like death. Denis Quaid

Rest assured sorrowful hearts of the left behind, there is more ahead than what you’re experiencing at the moment. This week Happiness Weekly looks at how you can move forward from a break up smoothly and maintain your dignity. Nursing a broken heart hurts, but it will get better.

#1 Let yourself grieve
You’re going to cry, the spring in your step will disappear for a little while. Accept this and start making a list of all the things you’re looking forward to with your new found freedom. This list may include travelling overseas, moving away, starting a new hobby, changing your habits etc. Let yourself cry for the first 48 hours if you need to, but don’t let it drag on. Try to keep yourself busy and be patient.

#2 Turn your radio OFF
Ever noticed that every song on the radio seems to relate to you when you’re in a lot of pain, particularly caused by a break up or relationship difficulties? Any mushy songs just remind you of what you’re missing out on. It’s time to put a break up play list together and listen to it on repeat! Collect all your favourite break up songs to keep you strong – here’s a few (Top 40 style) to get you started:
Survivor – Destiny’s Child
What doesn’t kill you (Stronger) – Kelly Clarkson
Rehab – Rihanna
Sorry – Buckcherry
Jar of Hearts – Christina Perri
Trouble or Picture to Burn – Taylor Swift
Runaway Baby – Bruno Mars
Want the full list? Comment below with your favourite break up songs and request.

#3 Lean on a break up buddy
Everything is easier if you can share your pain or vent to someone that can fully empathise with you. Lean on your single friends – sadly, this cannot be the person you just broke off with. Start getting back out there as soon as you can. Make your break up buddy tag along. Of course this is all easier if your break up buddy is the same gender as you if you’re straight or opposite if you’re gay. Why? Because if you lean on someone you could get attracted to, trust me when I say the chances your feelings will get confused are high!

#4 Don’t hurt the person you’re separating from
There’s two quotes I keep in mind during a break up: “Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward,” Og Mandino and “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others and if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them,” Dalai Lama. So try to make the transition as easy as possible, whatever happens – no matter how angry you feel – be kind. Your kindness will make it easier on you in the long run. Respond to their texts if you want to, don’t go overboard – don’t beg for them back, at least remain a friend to them as much as you can. I also like to send an email thanking them for coming into my life and spending the time with me that they did, for the lessons they taught me and just letting them know that they are important to me. If you decide to break contact, explain that to the other person first – don’t just shut them out. It may be difficult to talk to them, but you’ll feel better than just ignoring them.

#5 Be kind to yourself
Lots of massages, facials, manicures, shopping, take yourself away, have long baths with wine … treat yourself as much as possible. Try to keep yourself busy and distracted with the things you love. Put the comfort food down! Work on yourself, spend some time at the gym, change your diet to be healthier. Keep yourself motivated, and keep looking forward. Don’t look back. Monitor yourself, and if you’re really not handling it – seek professional help. There’s no shame in seeing a counsellor or psychologist.

#6 Avoid social media channels
It’s time to give Facebook a rest for a few days. You’ll say things you regret, you may not be thinking rationally, your friends may be posting information that will make you feel upset. Maybe their lives are jetting forward while you feel as though you’re standing still or taking a step back. Save yourself from the agony.

#7 Don’t watch chick flicks
I will never understand this… why is it when girls break up with guys, they turn to chick flicks? They’re always happy endings! Doesn’t it just remind you of what you just lost or what you don’t have? You need to turn that crap off and get outside into some fresh air. Go for a walk. Sleep if you want to stay in. Watch a funny series show … but nothing with love … avoid the lovey dovey stuff while you try to get yourself back on track.

#8 Don’t do anything you’ll regret
Think of someone you want to make proud. When ever you act, pretend that they are watching you. Whatever happens, don’t do anything you’ll regret or that would disappoint this person. This exercise will certainly assist you with maintaining your dignity as you try to move on. Don’t say anything hurtful, don’t try to move on too quickly, just make your way through the motions as best you can.

#9 Don’t think why – just keep looking ahead
Don’t ask yourself why, you could drive yourself crazy as you continue going in circles. Sometimes things just happen for a reason but there’s no explanation at first. Accept it. Keep looking forward to what’s ahead and before you know it, you’ll arrive at a new destination and the sting from this break up will be a distant memory. Keep yourself as busy as possible for the first few weeks, try to get some sleep (I know this is hard when your heart is breaking, but try) and continue to do nice things for yourself. Nurture yourself, because only you will feel your pain and fully understand how that feels. Only you can soothe yourself.

#10 Read more break up quotes and do whatever it takes
Take one day at a time and do whatever it takes to move forward. Laugh as much as you can and enjoy the moments when you do. You may feel that you leave the relationship in steps – one minute you’ll like the idea of the separation, the next you’ll be in despair – go with the emotions and sit with them. As yucky as it feels at the moment, it won’t last. And read more break up quotes, it’ll make you feel less alone:

Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience. Victoria Holt

Breaking up is a natural evolution when you try to figure out what you want in life. If you’re with an individual who isn’t moving in the same direction and at the same rate that you are, it ain’t going to work. Usher

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. Alexander Graham Bell

I broke up with someone, and she said, “You’ll never find anyone like me again.” And I’m thinking, ‘I hope not!’ Does anybody end a bad relationship and say, “By the way, do you have a twin?” Larry Miller

What are your favourite tips for handling a break up?

Male role models: Celebrity men you SHOULD look up to

Being a role model is the most powerful form of educating…too often fathers neglect it because they get so caught up in making a living they forget to make a life. John Wooden.

Good male celebrity role models are as hard to find as good female celebrity role models. Consider the following and what you think of when their names are mentioned: Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods, Chris Brown, Kyle Sandilands…

Continuing on from my last blog which examined female celebrity role models, Happiness Weekly looks at male celebrities and recommend who our younger generations SHOULD look up to.

Top Role Models: Happiness Weekly’s favourite celebrity men

Dalai Lama
6 July 1935
Known to be friendly, happy, sane, compassionate and wise, the Dalai Lama inspires millions of people with his Buddhist and balanced approach to life. Working with psychiatrist Howard Cutler, he recently published “The Art of Happiness – a handbook for living” which reached number 2 on the New York Times best seller list. He believes that every action has a reaction, and that reaction will seed another result. “My life has not been easy… I learned that one’s own mental state is crucial. If one remains calm one creates a peaceful atmosphere. If one loses one’s temper and calmness, the situation becomes more complicated and more trouble is created,” he said.

Eamon Sullivan
30 August 1985
Not just a pretty face, this Olympic swimmer was the first winner of television’s MasterChef, then going on to open a café Louis Baxter in Subiaco Square near Perth, and released his own cookbook: Eamon’s kitchen – 130 robust, no fuss recipes for everyday and entertaining. In 2008 he held the world record for the 50m and 100m freestyle and he broke the 100m world record twice at the Beijing Olympic Games. To top off his list of achievements, he won the 2011 CLEO Bachelor of the Year. “A balanced diet is key to maintaining good health. I am a big believer in not robbing yourself of the things that you enjoy eating, however then balancing this out with healthy options throughout the week.”

Liam Neeson
7 June 1952
He’s been through the greatest heartache in the public eye when his wife passed away after a devastating skiing accident, but Liam has managed to bounce back into his usual successful routine. The selfless actor quit smoking for his children and has been known to donate and be associated with several charities including Make Poverty History, Clothes Off Our Back, Bicycle for a Day and ONE Campaign. He has worked as a forklift operator, a truck driver, an architect, an amateur boxer and a teacher before pursuing his successful career in acting. “I’ve had an unbelievable life. I’ve been very lucky. You do create your own luck too, you know? I never forget where I’m from. Whenever I pass a building site or see somebody digging a ditch, I always think, ‘That’s real work.’…” He also said: “It’s interesting, the more successful you become the more people want to give you stuff for nothing,” he said.

Brad Pitt
18 December 1963
Down-to-earth, masculine and charming, good looking, and wanted by Hollywood’s hottest actresses! This easy-going actor and film producer has been described as one of the most attractive men in the world. Despite bringing up six children with partner Angelina Jolie, Brad still finds time to support 33 different charities and assist with humanitarian crisis around the world. “I believe you make your day. You make your life. So much of it is all perception, and this is the form that I built for myself. I have to accept it and work within those compounds, and it’s up to me,” he said.

John Lennon
9 October 1940
One of the most influential people in history, John’s quest for peace, love and understanding will always be remembered. In the 1960s and 70s, he was revolutionary in changing negative social values as he formed and led the most successful band of all time, The Beatles. He spoke out against things such as inequality and the Vietnam War. “We’re trying to sell peace, like a product, you know, and sell it like people sell soap or soft drinks. And it’s the only way to get people aware that peace is possible,” he said. Best of all, John was proud of who he was: “I’m not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I’ve always been a freak. So I’ve been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I’m one of those people,” he said, also saying: “You don’t need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!”

Barack Obama
4 August 1961
The President of the United States of America is arguably the best role model for the new generation. When he took the oath, Barack became the 44th president of his country. Despite his humble beginnings, he overcame all obstacles and achieved what he set out to do. He has a great personality – his charisma comes across when he speaks, and a charming family. He also gives a vibe of hope, courage and enthusiasm, with a strong “can do” attitude. His message is that if you have determination you will reach your destination, it doesn’t matter if the odds are in your favour or not. When your heart is in what you do, you produce the best you can. The love and joy that you feel is reflected in your work. Whatever it is then that you produce, be it a product or service, it not only improves your life spiritually and financially but it also improves the lives of other people too. “If you’re walking down the right path and you’re willing to keep walking, eventually you’ll make progress,” he said.

Harrison Ford
13 July 1942
He started out working as a carpenter but was made famous for his role as Han Solo in Star Wars and four years on, for his star roles in the Indiana Jones movies. In 1997, he was ranked #1 in Empire magazine’s Top 100 Movie Stars of All Time list, he has starred in a film that grossed at least $100m at the US Box Office for five consecutive decades and in 2000, he received an AFI Life Achievement Award. He has four children, has been married three times – currently to Calista Flockhart – and has had great involvement with charity work – particularly to do with environment, donating $100m to conservation partners around the world. “It took me a long time to figure out how to act, and how to conduct myself in the business so I could get what I felt I needed to support my potential and give them what they wanted.”

Tom Hanks
9 July 1956
He has been married to Rita Wilson since 1988, won Academy Awards for his performances in Forest Gump, Philadelphia, Apollo 13, and Saving Private Ryan, and he is known to be one of the nicest actors in Hollywood. Involved in every part of film, Tom is an actor, writer, producer and director. On Veterans Day in 1999, he received the Distinguished Public Service Award (the US Navy’s highest civilian honour) for his work in Saving Private Ryan. “People always think that there has got to be a dark side to everyone, a closet with skeletons, demons under the bed. People think all kinds of things about one another. They feel compelled to make up fears and false assumptions about their closest friends. Truth is, I’ll never know all there is to know about you just as you will never know all there is to know about me. Humans are by nature too complicated to be understood fully. So, we can choose either to approach our fellow human beings with suspicion or to approach them with an open mind, a dash of optimism and a great deal of candour,” he said.

Jesse Spencer
12 February 1979
Australian actor and musician – he’s played the violin since he was 10 years old and also plays the guitar, bass and piano – he started out on Aussie drama Neighbours. He speaks fluent French, currently acts in US series House as Dr. Robert Chase, and in 2007 was listed in People magazine’s 100 Most Beautiful People. Although he hasn’t been in the public eye a lot, and there’s not too much mention of charity work, he has done very well to get to where he is, which is why I’ve included him in my role model list. “I`ve never thought of myself as a big star or a teenage pin-up. I`m just me. It`s probably Billy that people really like anyway, rather than me,” he said referring to his Neighbours character Billy Kennedy.

Shane West
10 June 1978
He won my heart playing the bad boy in A Walk to Remember opposite the beautiful Mandy Moore. Shane started acting when he was forced to take drama class in high school because he needed one more credit to graduate. He’s now acting in CW’s hit series Nikita. “Being a role model is tough. It’s tough because everyone is their own person, we all have our own faults you know, so it is hard to think that someone would consider having me as a role model when I know all of my faults (laughing) … Role models for me are my parents, so I try to be the best I can; if I am going to be a role model for somebody I try to be my best in and for the public,” he said.

There are still so many male celebrities worth mentioning in this blog including Steve Martin, Jack Nicholson, Ethan Hawk, Christian Bale (particularly for visiting the victims in Aurora recently), Clive Owen, Jake Gyllenhaal, Hugh Jackman and Wentworth Miller, Channing Tatum – but I wanted to leave room for discussion: who are your favourite male celebrity role models and why?

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