These are the words people in toxic relationships WISH they could say every time they walk out the door after another soul crushing interaction with the person they are currently seeing.
People in toxic relationships often want to leave the relationship but “can’t” and they don’t know why. Meanwhile their friends watch as they get sucked in again and again, generally by a partner fearing abandonment. The toxic partner in this case will be (very subconsciously) hurting the person’s self esteem in a bid to keep them, because they know they often know their mate can do better than them.
Unfortunately their attempts to hurt them, often works. So by the time the person gets set to leave the toxic relationship they have self doubt which is over-riding what their rational mind is telling them. This is often confused for the heart ruling the mind, but in reality between the fantasy they have of who the person is and this massive self doubt combined with low self esteem … it’s easy to get stuck in a toxic relationship.
What is difficult is explaining to people what is really going on in order for them to understand the yoyoing relationship. When there are no feelings towards anyone it’s easy to stand back and with judgement and authority say “You should break up!” or “I can’t stand watching this, I’m not going to be your friend until you break up…” and the list of things “supportive” friends say in this scenario are endless.
I put supportive in inverted comas here, not because they’re not supportive but because they actually are. When the person in the toxic relationship (who wants to leave but can’t follow through) is confronted with this situation, it’s easy to dismiss the friend. “Fine! I don’t need a friend that’ll abandon me right now!” However, what is important to keep in mind is that this person is doing the best thing they know how by them, with their own experience, beliefs and knowledge on the topic and the relationship.
Many people mishandle toxic relationships – and with emotions running high, often because it’s very stressful and you feel as though the whole world is shouting at you what you should do and everyone knows better than you – but it doesn’t have to be this way.
Since I touched down in Sydney after a couple of life-changing months in America, I have been flat out working to bring you Self Love September which is well and truly live and happening on Relationship Free’s Facebook page. I absolutely loved America and I’m sure I’ll share my adventures with you at some point, but first, it’s down to business!
Each day we talk a little bit about a topic that will help you explore your self love more, offer an affirmation for you to repeat throughout the day and give you a challenge to complete and enhance your self love.
It turns out quite a few places celebrate Self Love September but we still don’t feel it does it quite like Relationship Free. We’re putting in the work to make a big difference. Our aim is to encourage active and regular demonstration of self love to enhance self esteem and develop awareness and appreciation of self worth.
Here’s what’s been posted so far:
There’s something new every day!
We also released our first eNewsletter this week, Integrity. We talk about Self Love September, Giveaways and the release of my upcoming eBook 100% Self Love: The Roadmap to the Love and Life you Desire. You can check out the first edition here, and subscribe to receive your copy at the bottom of the Relationship Free website!
Self Love September is a month dedicated to raising awareness of self love and how you can demonstrate acts of self love to help you achieve the love and life you desire. With September just around the corner, Relationship Free HQ has been a buzz – and we have been working hard to bring you what could be the most life changing month in the calendar year! This year (2015) marks the inaugural launch for this event and Relationship Free is proud to be the brains and heart behind this awareness month. It is also a month when Relationship Free is offering clients some GREAT value!! So stay tuned!
What can you expect in September?
Relationship Free is launching an eBook – 100% Self Love: The roadmap to the love and life you desire. It’s everything you need to start from today and get everything you want for a better tomorrow – simply by loving yourself. It’s the roadmap we were never given in our early years, but imagine how life would be if these lessons were delivered early on…
I can finally say I have the love and life I desire … and have desired up until now!
In recent weeks, I have been inundated by emails and comments from people reaching out telling me how I have impacted their lives with the information I have experienced, then researched and shared. I’m so grateful for everyone who spends a moment to say “Thanks Sarah, keep it up!” – that keeps me going!
It was when my life hit a rock bottom low that I promised myself I’d do everything in my power to
Have you ever dated someone and they seem to be all about themselves? What they want to do? When they want to see you? There’s no compromise?
These irritating little quirks often appear towards the end of the first month or near the beginning of the second month of dating.
Sometimes it can be difficult to tell if someone is truly into you. On one hand they call you all the time and seem to enjoy talking to you. On the other hand they may seem unable to regularly commit to catching up in person. Perhaps you’re dating someone who just doesn’t seem to be able to give up time with their friends.
This person is possibly still fitting you into their values spectrum – they’re not sure if it will work out or not – and they don’t know whether to prioritize you or not. It’s not something you need to worry too much about in these early stages of dating.
But it can be frustrating!
So what can you do? How can you play it cool?
I’m not protesting against Facebook having rights to my photos.
I don’t care that people can find me more easily.
I am taking a stand against judgement.
Think about it!
No couple is together ALL the time. Distance relationships may or may not be your thing. Reuniting can be awkward. It can be really hard – particularly when people are falling in love around you and you see them hanging out all the time.
DISTANCE DOESN’T MEAN IT’S OVER!
If the love is truly there, don’t give up!
So how can you keep the love you have alive with someone at a distance and still feel excited about being in a relationship with that person – even when they’re on the other side of the world? Celebrities do it all the time and Sarah Webb, the Director of Relationship Free offers these amazing tips from her own experience!
I haven’t posted for a little while because I’m currently getting set to go to America for two months! My motivations for my trip are mixed – I want to network at various events and in each city I visit as much as I can and get my business name (Relationship Free) out there; and I also want to relax, have a holiday and see this country that I’ve been trying to get to all my life.
The thing is … a few weeks ago I met the most amazing guy. That’s how it always starts, but he really is pretty cool – and it’s not just the surfer façade, though I’ll be honest, he is in pretty good shape! Since we only just met and I have these checklists of coaching-related things I want to do (that wouldn’t spark his interest at all) he is not coming. And I’m not putting the offer on the table.
This is the first thing in my life I really want to do on my own. Though, ask me any other year before this one – I had a fantasy of falling in love with someone (else) and travelling the world with them. I’m glad it happened this way. I fell in love with myself, I got my back completely and I’m set to travel America on my own. Leaving all the excuses, blame and tension fights far away. I’ve got this! So while it’s not how I expected my fantasy would be, it is still exactly as it was meant to be!
So what came up for me as I started packing the other day was some thoughts. I was sitting around thinking about it (aka procrastinating) and I thought to myself: “I’m going to miss Ed so much…”
Quickly following was another thought which surprised me…
Some of my girlfriends hold back from being completely honest with their partner for six months, until they truly know them, others reveal everything upfront and are more comfortable with being vulnerable. Me? I think it’s up to the individuals in the relationship and dependent on how you feel in the relationship. How long is a piece of string?
The “polite phase” can make some people crazy, particularly if it stretches out endlessly. I don’t mean polite as in the ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ pleasantries – they should stretch out forever – no, I’m talking about that uncomfortable ‘Should I ask before I steal their food off their plate?” kind of polite. This week Relationship Free explores four things you can do to fast-track your polite phase in your relationship.
I caught up with one of my newest and most amazing girl friends for coffee today, Nat, and I was telling her about another friend who had a terrible dating experience with a girl he met from an online dating site.
I live in a world where it’s not too difficult to date: You meet a person, you like them, you hang out.
This man shared that sentiment – because he’s gorgeous and dating had previously never been hard. He always dated the most beautiful, intelligent girls. But now he finds himself in his 30s, unsure if he wants to settle down and most of his friends have families.
On this particular date, the girl first showed up out of nowhere and then started ranting and raving at him – who happens to be particularly shy – because he hadn’t allowed her to stay the night.
It was only the second time they had met.
“So of course my next question is…