Archive by Author | happinessweekly

Tips to completely transform yourself

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Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose. Lyndon B. Johnson

Over the years I have become a walking Madonna. I’m a chameleon. I’ve been fat, I’ve been skinny, I’ve been pretty, I’ve been ugly, I’ve been blonde, I’ve been brunette, I’ve been kind, I’ve been mean… I’ve been through about a hundred transformations – but at least three of them have been really noticeable to myself and others. This photo on the left is how it looks – yup, that’s all me! As you may have noticed, I kind of held onto the girl-next-door look over the past few years. So this week, Happiness Weekly looks at how YOU can transform yourself.

1. Set the bar

I don’t advise this often, but look at all your wonderful awesome friends around you and consider what it is about each of them that you love. Imagine life has become PhotoShop and what you can do is copy pieces from each person and put them back onto you. Make a strong mental note about what you like about them. Even go onto your Facebook and have a look at who you admire and work out what it is that you admire about them – how do they portray themselves? (Take a look at their Facebook page if you’re not sure.) What do they have in their life that you don’t? More importantly, what don’t they have in their life that you do? Who do they have in their life? How are they treated? How do they treat people?

2. Set the goal

Fantastic! Now we know what we want, we need to set the goal. Just with any goal-setting, look at yourself in the mirror and decide what you want to change about yourself. Do some deep soul searching – is it just an attitude adjustment? Are you unhappy with your hair? Do you have chipped nails? Do you want to lose weight – how much weight? Work out exactly what you want to change. In one positive sentence, state exactly what you want. Write it down. You can make a collage around your goal statement to remind you what you’re aiming for.

  1. Prepare to change

It’s important to emotionally prepare yourself for what’s to come because change isn’t easy – and it can be frustrating! For example, you won’t lose weight overnight like the Hollywood stars, unless you have their kind of money. Change can be a slow process – and when you’re angling for a full transformation you need to keep your eye on the prize and be realistic. Now you have set the bar and you’ve set your ultimate goal, start looking at the steps you’re going to take to achieve your goal for a full transformation.

  1. Transform yourself!

Now put everything into action. While you’re setting the goals (which is the hard part), also set some rewards (manicures, fake tan, new phone etc) that will be given when you achieve your milestones. As you achieve your goal, you will notice you physically and emotionally upgrade as well, because you start surrounding yourself with nicer things and better things than you currently have. It’s important to change your behaviour as well as aiming to change your physical appearance – this will help to maintain your change.

  1. Keep yourself accountable

A complete transformation is easy to give up on, but if you work hard to keep yourself accountable to the transformation, you’ll notice you also stay motivated and on track. Ways to keep yourself accountable may be to do a before and after photo – or select the photo that best represents everything you want to change at the moment (this is why those Facebook tags are so great) and use that as your before photo. This photo should also be used to remind you what you want to change when you feel you are going off track.

  1. Get coaching

If you get stuck, I highly recommend life coaching to help you achieve your transformation. A coach will work with you to work out what you want and help you find ways to achieve it. I am currently offering one pro bono coaching session valued at AUD$110, in exchange for you to provide a testimonial after the session. Claim this by contact me: sarah@relationshipfree.com – it will be held over Skype and we’ll arrange a time via email. Be quick – I only have one to give away!

I’m celebrating!

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The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall. Vince Lombardi

Today I’m celebrating! (And it’s not just because it’s Google’s birthday – although, wishing you a very happy birthday today, Google – you have been a fantastic source of information and a great friend to me!)

So … how’s your year going?

Are you still on track with your new years resolutions?

OK, so you probably forgot them by New Years Day … let me guess, too much alcohol? Great excuse!

Anyone who knows me knows my level of self-motivation and determination and this year I’m achieving everything I set out to achieve. I’m checking each and every one of my New Years Resolutions … it’s been one hell of a busy year, let me tell you!

As of this week Happiness Weekly has reached 100,000 people! I don’t advertise, I just blog and every now and then check in with a Facebook page. So I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who is reading Happiness Weekly, or has read Happiness Weekly, and particularly to those of you who stumbled across my page and stayed or the ones who return time and time again without signing up just to see what I’m saying. After almost two years of consistent blogging, this is a fantastic achievement and I couldn’t have done it without YOU! The truth is in the statistics!

Thank you for joining my journey, for accepting me exactly as I am and allowing me to speak my truth. I’m dedicated to Happiness Weekly in a way that you would don’t see – I’m either writing for a blog or I’m thinking what to write next, and it’s one of the best aspects of my life. Happiness Weekly allows me to take every situation that comes at me and turn it into that positive and then enables those sunshine light rays to bounce off me onto the universe and directly onto each of you who are following.

A couple of weeks ago, I did two surveys for Relationship Free, my new venture, as part of a major research assignment. This week I’m opening a survey for you – my dedicated Happiness Weekly readers and followers as I try to get this community a little more active and involved and it’ll help me to deliver more of what you want … and need!

The survey is available here – thank you to everyone who participates: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/TR8TKN6

Am I alive?

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When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. Marcus Aurelius

So there I was the other day at work and I run flustered into our IT department – our IT guy isn’t from Australia and speaks in broken English.

“I can’t send this link out, there’s lines all through it – it looks terrible!” I said.

“Send it through to me,” replied the IT guy calmly.

I ran back to my desk, clicked send on an email to him and raced back to his office.

He clicked just as I reached his door. “What are you talking about, it looks fine?”

I walked over and to my amazement, the link was fine. It looked exactly as it was meant to.

“Oh…” I said, surprised and at the same time confused.

“Just because it happens to you, doesn’t mean it’s going to happen to everyone else,” he said.

 

That moment, right there was gold.

It was the first time since my traumatic events of last year that I stopped. I just stopped.

And for the first time I took a breathe. He was right!

Just because it happened to me, didn’t mean it would happen to everyone else. And although he had just been referring to a computer incident, the ripple affects his words had on my greater life were huge. He said, black and white, what many of my friends had been edging at but were too scared to say – which I appreciate, because I wouldn’t have listened anyway.

But you know, I’ve been so caught up in campaigning and advocating to ensure this never happens again, and so passionate because of the supporting statistics and so frustrated because nothing was changing that I went … “yeah … yeah, he’s right! And what’s that getting me?”

Going over it – gets me nowhere.

Do you know the worst kind of trauma you can ever experience? It’s called intentional human. Pretty self-explanatory. Do you know why that’s the worst possible form of trauma you can suffer from? Because that’s the one that keeps your mind clocking around, every second of every day, years down the track going over: “HOW could someone do that?” and “WHY would someone WANT to hurt someone like that?” There are no answers. Psychopaths exist, they get their lifeblood from hurting others. And sometimes, people are just fucked. There – I said it.

The trauma I suffer on a day-to-day basis is something I actually can’t hide and I think that’s where you can tell if someone’s faking it or not. I do really bizarre things sometimes – without thinking. It ranges from getting caught talking to myself in the bathroom mirror at work (and I’ve never taken drugs, I don’t have a mental illness – this is just how I’ve responded to the trauma), or I’ll get out of a car while it’s moving because I had a sudden thought and want to check something (and yes, I gave my colleagues a heart attack – sorry again!) – and this will sound weird but, a lot of the time, I think I’m dead. I’m convinced. Maybe it wasn’t such a conscious thought until the other day when I was watching a movie and the wife said “Why didn’t you call and tell me you were alive?” and he responds: “Because I thought I was dead”.

The trauma haze is significantly different to the haze you’ll experience with depression. When you’re depressed, the haze feels heavy. When you’re traumatised, it’s the opposite – it’s light and it feels as though you’re always surrounded by light. My senses are heightened. My concentration cuts in and out and I “zone out” often, but I feel like I’m walking through heaven. I feel like he successfully killed me and my mind flashes back to standing in front of his car as he drove into me three times and I wonder … did he actually kill me? Am I alive?

So what have I done to help myself?

Well, I did exposure therapy the other day and let me tell you about that … I recognised that I’d been intentionally avoiding places, which is unhealthy. So I went back. I go in with determination. My anxiety is high. I’m calm, trying to be positive. I’m focussed. I’m nauseous – bile sits at the top of my stomach the entire time. But “I’m ok, and I’m doing it” I tell myself. And then I look around … I’m 200m up the road from the place I was exposing myself to. I started at the other side. And I have no recollection of passing. I can’t tell you if I was on my phone, what song I was listening to at the time, what I saw … nothing. I blanked out. It was like I was picked up by a space ship and planted back down in that location. It was the weirdest thing that I’ve ever experienced in my life. So it didn’t take me long to realise my disassociation, caused by the traumatic events, was so strong that I actually can’t be there. And it’s to the point that my brain literally shuts off, so it won’t let me be there – even if that’s exactly what I’m trying to do. Maybe I didn’t do it right – but I’m not doing exposure therapy anymore because, well, it felt pointless given the outcome and secondly, I suffered through a hell of a lot of difficult feelings and emotions just to get myself there, only to blank out. That took weeks of psyching myself up to do it. Only to blank out – are you kidding me? So I accept it now – there are some places, I just can’t go anymore. There are also some places I can’t go alone, but I’ll still go so I keep living and generally have someone with me – like the supermarket. And then there are other places I’m ok by myself. So my life has fragmented with my shattered soul and it now has layers in it. That’s cool – I’ve adjusted.

That’s ok, because I have good news … because today was finally different…

I woke up after five hours sleep: and I felt alive! I was rejuvenated, as though the incident never occurred. I felt like I woke up into my old self again. The phoenix well and truly rose and flew out of sight today! I smiled again – and everyone noticed. For the first time since the incident, I was my regular self that’d gone missing for ten months. My light was glowing. I was excited. I couldn’t have been happier if I won lotto – I had my life back!

Ok, there were a couple of blunders where I stuttered and my words got tangled, which never used to happen and it’s so frustrating – but my colleagues are so patient with me. They know. They can see. I don’t think the person who hurt me realises the consequences of his actions – perhaps he’s desensitised to intentional human trauma from his own experiences, or maybe he really is just a psychopath and has no empathy. I guess he’s not around to see how it is now. And not many spend a lot of time with me, so it can be difficult to see. But I see … I know.

But you know what?

I’ve never had so many people tell me how proud of me they are in my whole life, as what I’ve heard this year! You guys may not know but I’ve kept up Happiness Weekly – I’ve even done the odd extra post (and I’ve got some great stuff coming up!), I’ve got new followers (and more followers) – welcome and there’s more ahead, not about me so much! And I’m thriving at work, I got a promotion – I’m studying and I’m acing it! And I’m just a few months off launching my business. So what nearly killed me, made me stronger … if I am still alive ;)

So today I thought about what the IT guy said: “Just because it happens to you, doesn’t mean it’s going to happen to everyone else,” and I made a bit of a decision to let it go. I’m half way through writing my story but it drains so much energy, I actually can’t bring myself to come back to it – and that’s ok because I’ve got better things to write about that will help people more than probably what my story can.

I guess I just wanted to post something and say thank you to everyone for standing by me – for laughing with me – and for reminding me that I AM still alive. For treating me the same, although it’s like I’m suffering a massive brain injury at times with my zoning out, concentration wavering, bizarre behaviours etc.

Intentional-human trauma is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to overcome and it’s something I work on every day and I’m not giving up until I get through the other side completely and I’m a thriving role model. I’m happy to communicate my story and how it is for me right now, to raise awareness of the dangers a relationship trauma can cause … but it’s not always going to be like this for me. Fortunately this is the only damage he did and I know I’ll be better because I’ll move on in time.

As for the comment “just because it happens to you, doesn’t mean it’s going to happen to everyone else” – that’s true … and while I’m going to let go a little bit, all I keep thinking is: BECAUSE it happened to me, it could happen to someone else – and that’s where my purpose, intent and motivation lie behind everything I do now. I will continue to try to stop this from happening to anyone else, each day, no matter what I do.

Thank you.

How to transform yourself into a leader

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Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them. John Maxwell

Leadership – it’s the quality everyone wants and a lot of the wrong people think they have. One of the keys to leadership is leading by example and moving in the clear, concise direction you want to go. These two characteristics, leading and moving, can also categorise the difference between a good leader and a bad leader. Not everyone has leadership skills, which is why there are hundreds of courses you can do to develop these skills, or you can just read this post and get started on your own – the good news is: leadership is something you can develop. This week Happiness Weekly looks at how YOU can transform yourself into a leader.

Be passionate

Be passionate about whatever area you’re trying to lead in. If you’re passionate, you will naturally want to know more about it, and in knowing more about it you’ll become an expert, and as you become an expert people will look up to you, as people look up to you they’ll come to you for guidance and before you know it, you’ll find yourself in a leadership position! Leadership can almost be a natural progression stemming from passion – which is why it is almost essential to be passionate in the area you are leading.

Be confident

Confidence in the area you’re leading in is essential. One of the most important leadership qualities you can have is confidence in your decisions, confidence in your knowledge of the topic and confident in the areas you need to grow and develop so you can actively seek that growth for yourself to strengthen your leadership abilities.

Direction

Choosing the right direction or the best direction that leads to the most positive outcomes is also important for a leader because it builds trust among the people who are following you. If a leader is unsure about the direction or demonstrates uncertainty by regularly changing the direction they want to go, it loses trust and rapport among peers. A leader should seek clarification and research the pros and cons of every direction before a decision is made so they can move in any chosen direction with confidence and clarity.

Delegation

A leader must be able to know how and when to delegate. If a leader is constantly doing all the work, they will become overloaded and won’t be able to achieve tasks. Overloaded and overwhelmed, the leader won’t have time to see ahead of their own activities in order to lead people anywhere. Delegation is a critical quality in leadership.

Communication

It is important that leaders communicate transparently where they can. If people feel a leader is hiding something or not telling the full truth, it breaks rapport and the followers won’t continue to contribute to the best of their ability. Clear concise communication with all followers is a fantastic asset for any good leader to have.

Inspire

Be the change you seek and set an example as you motivate your followers. Inspiration can come from witnessing the miracle. Be passionate in the area you’re leading and demonstrate reasons why others should be passionate about it too. Openly share your knowledge and encourage others to grow in your field as well.

Dress well

A good leader always dresses well. The way you look impacts the way you do your work, the way other people relate to you and the way you are viewed as a leader. Top leaders often wear “power suits” that show their authority. You rarely see a leader of a country wondering down the supermarket in a tracksuit for milk. Dress your best and look the part!

Following these tips, you will be well on your way to being a leader. Want more? Enrol yourself in a leadership course through your local community centre or university and go forth with confidence!

My petition: How I’m going to try to save lives

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Every week at least one woman dies at the hands of domestic violence. Talking to a police officer recently, that statistic isn’t complete because more men die at the hands of women in domestic violence situations. At first I couldn’t believe it and then I thought more on it, and I do believe it –these women may have been defending themselves or so traumatised by the violence they encountered that it lead them to it – and it’s classified as domestic violence no matter what the situation is, because of that partnership. Not to say that women can’t be the abuser as well – this just puts perspective on the statistics.

As it stands, our Apprehended Domestic Violence Order (AVO) laws DO NOT include contact clauses unless the magistrate decides it’s necessary – so I’m talking about the laws, regulations and even procedures. What I’m saying is when you receive an AVO, you don’t have to stay a certain distance away from the person, and you can communicate with each other, as long as you don’t harass, assault, stalk, molest the person. So what I want to know is – with these very real cycles called “abuse cycles” – WHY would our systems would leave such a gaping hole to allow for this to continue WHILE an AVO is in place?? Does that sound like protection to you?

My story, Owning it – why I’m not ashamed that I was served with an AVO, may bring a greater understanding about my passion for the topic and why I’m so determined to change these laws. Because they’re not protecting anyone!

Last week I received a response to my plea for help in changing this from my MP and the Attorney General, at first I was comfortable with it – and I was going to let it drop: accept it, get on with life. But these articles were released:

Kate Malonyay murdered by compulsive liar ex-boyfriend Elliott Coulson NSW Coroner finds

The make-believe world of Elliott Coulson which says: “She had spoken to police about taking out an AVO against him after he sent her abusive text messages. She didn’t go through with it”.

These articles PISSED ME OFF! “Redressing the power balance” by seeking an AVO. And what happens in the case that they (police and authorities) get it wrong – does that redress anything? Should it be an eye for an eye? Does it matter who has power and who doesn’t, so long as both people are SAFE?? Well – as they can keep communicating with each other, right? Thank God for that! The fact Kate didn’t go through with getting an AVO wasn’t careless. Let me tell you what that’s like: You go in to get the AVO and the first thing they tell you is you need to stand up in court and give evidence. Imagine how intimidating that sounds when you’re recently out of your relationship, you’re scared shitless for your wellbeing if you go ahead with something like that, you know with their level of lies and manipulation – how this could come back on you AND you’re riddled with self doubt: “OK, maybe it wasn’t that bad”. You just want it to go away. Seeing them again – in court or out of court – doesn’t sound very appealing.

PLUS! At the end of the day what protection is this little piece of paper – when you can still communicate? It doesn’t even attempt to stop the abuse cycle! So what is its purpose?

And then there was this: Call to end domestic violence against women and children: Beyond Blue mental health approach will be the blueprint for national campaign – which is great because our domestic violence laws do need to be applicable and consistent AT LEAST nationally, if not globally!

The fact is: the only way for an AVO to serve as a form of protection or intervention is to have compulsory NO CONTACT CLAUSES for BOTH parties, and penalties if they are not adhered to. And that goes for the “victim” and the “accused”. Why would our system would encourage two people, who have identified themselves as being in a domestic violent partnership, to still communicate while a 6-month to 2-year AVO is in place?

And then I keep seeing more and more articles of people dying at the hands of domestic violence and I’m angry – because like everyone else: I want to know why! Why are our systems giving any space to allow for this to happen?

I’m not saying I have all the answers, because as soon as the AVO lifts, then it’s possible for the communication to begin again. Time heals all wounds and forgiveness comes into play… But the distance created by this kind of AVO, may be a start, because after the minimum time of six months, both people will be in a better position to make better decisions. Counselling should also be mandatory for both parties as well.

Married? Communicate through lawyers and get a divorce. Children? Communicate through friends or family members. There are ways to get around it so these two people DON’T communicate and the abuse cycle STOPS. Completely! These laws have potential to be intervention, but as they currently stand, they’re anything but.

Children are being murdered nearly as often as the targets of the abuse – because abusers have no hesitation in using these children as tools to further harass, intimidate, threaten and abuse their target. Why would you put them in the firing line, or enable for this to happen? Where people are terrified their partner will hurt their children as a way of getting back at them, they need to check the box that says “SUPERVISED VISITS ONLY” – until that child is 18 and old enough to seek their own help and defend themselves.

Make it stricter, make it apply to both parties, and make it easier to obtain.

QUIT MAKING EXCUSES!

An AVO with essential contact clauses for both parties mean:

- Only people who SERIOUSLY need this protection would be willing to sign off on it

- It would deter narcissists using it to abuse (because they won’t want to lose their source of supply) and a smear campaign won’t be possible

- Police won’t have the headache of dealing with the same people and the same cases over and over, because legally, the victims can’t go back while it’s in place, and if they do, then there is some level of punishment for breaking it because it’s for their protection that the do NOT continue the abuse cycle

- Less people will die because they won’t be contacting their abuser or anyone around them because they legally can’t, it removes the temptation to further provoke

- Our legal system saves time on serving one person and then serving the other, because it’s already covering BOTH people. It’s protecting BOTH people. As it should!

It means that they can’t contact each other directly or indirectly (unless through lawyers or nominated and mutually-agreed parties – such as family where children are involved). By indirectly I mean: they can’t contact anyone surrounding that person (eliminating mutual friends or temptation to get in touch with their family or friends) or have anyone surrounding them (such as their family or friends) contact the other person. I hope that makes sense. So either way, they can’t contact each other. It stops the abuse cycle completely.

If these laws were in place, would Kate Malonyay have been murdered? Keep it in mind as you read this article: Kate Malonyay murdered by Elliot Coulson after uncovering web of lies: coroner. And it’s not her fault that she was seeking the truth and closure. Hopefully education and a change in laws may prevent this happening.

The article says:

“The coroner said it appeared Coulson became aware in early April 2013 that Ms Malonyay was “making inquiries about him and talking about his lies with his family”.

On April 3, 2013, she reportedly sent a text message to Mr Coulson’s sister that read “Elliott might be suss we’ve been in contact and treading carefully”.

If Kate knew legally she couldn’t have done that, if the opportunity for gaining closure was shut down before it got to this, would she still be alive?

An AVO, with these essential clauses for BOTH parties and this check box for children having supervised visits should be available NATIONALLY.

NOW we’re talking about an intervention!

It’s time our system hardens up and makes some changes – start taking this seriously and stop it from happening!

What do you think? Are you going to join my fight?

Sign the petition – change the AVO laws: CHANGE.ORG Campaign

Why I absolutely loved Eat Pray Love

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Every man dies, but not every man really lives. Braveheart

So many people have begged me to watch this movie – Eat Pray Love – starring Julia Roberts, and I never seemed to get around to it. Now I’ve seen it, I’m not sure what took me so long. I guess I thought it’d be one of those movies you’d see on a rainy day – maybe I was scared it would change me – maybe I was worried I’d find it boring… But of course I can’t tell you how many terrible movies I’ve seen in the 1,480 days since its release date.

One day, while in the midst of despair, it was raining outside. I was falling apart in my apartment. I’d pushed everyone away who was checking in on me – I turned my phone off. I was crying uncontrollably from the worst hurt I’ve ever experienced. By this stage I was ready to give up – I wanted to quit my job, I couldn’t concentrate on anything, I wanted to move away – who knows where to, and I wanted to be alone. I shut down my social media accounts and stopped looking at my email. I couldn’t find any inner strength to keep going.

So, I turned to my computer. I wanted to switch off, even if I just sat there and did nothing. I scrolled down a list of movies I hadn’t seen and there it was. Eat Pray Love.

In a tracksuit, having not left my apartment in days, I sat on the couch, numbed in my pain, curled in the foetal position. I couldn’t tell you the last time I ate – but I had no appetite. I felt like a shell, like there was nothing left. I was all out of hope and I was definitely all out of happiness. In fact, as I sat there and watched in my morbid trance-like state, I felt as though I was watching myself. As it got to the scene where Liz was explaining leaving a toxic relationship and the stages you go through, I started to sit up and listen. I identified so strongly with the character, that within the first hour of watching, I was convinced I should buy a ticket to Italy and Bali and take off.

Just like Liz, every day since I was 13 years old, I have either been in a relationship with someone or ending one. It’s been a constant treadmill. Now I’m off that treadmill and I’m trying to find peace and just like Richard said to Liz, it’s up to me to do the work to achieve that.

This is the greatest healing movie I have ever come across. Although I sobbed helplessly intermittently throughout it and my concentration often took me away, walking to the kitchen, walking to my bedroom, walking to the bathroom … even sitting crying in another room but still listening – the messages it brought to me were so powerful. So here I am sharing it with you – through my experience of it.

First … if you have no appetite, it’s almost impossible to watch this movie and not feel hungry. Though I didn’t rush out to buy a margherita pizza – it did encourage me nibble at bits and pieces. The only reason I was scared to regain the weight I lost from stress was that I didn’t want it to restore me to the person I was – having said that, I couldn’t help but have a giggle when they discussed the “muffin top” – Liz was right – just go out and buy some new jeans.

There were many quotes in this movie that truly hit home for me but two of them were – “That’s what you do, not what you are” and “I don’t need to love you in order to prove that I love myself!”

So here I am – at 31 years old, I’m single. Completely single.

Not exactly where I was hoping to be in life at this age – but it is what it is. I would rather be happy and single than with someone and miserable. While I wouldn’t call myself happy right now – particularly given the above descriptions, I am at least on a journey towards it and it’s no comparison to the misery I felt in the abusive relationship.

I’ve been single for exactly 150 days today. My last relationship robbed me of everything I was and it took all my courage, against some truly ridiculous threats, to get out. And now? Just like Liz, I’m on a journey to find myself again.

As soon as I got out of that relationship I regretted ever knowing that person – a natural reaction after everything I’d been through? And while I don’t want to acknowledge him in any kind of positive light – and I don’t believe in soul mates – I identified with this:

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”

Overall, Eat Pray Love inspired me to embrace my freedom. Why aren’t I on a jet plane right now?

The quotes littered throughout this movie are just beautiful, but this quote really stood out for me because it symbolised how I’m feeling inside and what may come:

“A friend took me to the most amazing place the other day. It’s called the Augusteum. Octavian Augustus built it to house his remains. When the barbarians came they trashed it a long with everything else. The great Augustus, Rome’s first true great emperor. How could he have imagined that Rome, the whole world as far as he was concerned, would be in ruins? It’s one of the quietest, loneliest places in Rome. The city has grown up around it over the centuries. It feels like a precious wound, a heartbreak you won’t let go of because it hurts too good. We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we’re afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Then I looked at around to this place, at the chaos it has endured – the way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured, maybe my life hasn’t been so chaotic, it’s just the world that is, and the real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.”

Liz is right: “Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation”. As soon as it was spoken, it was like my inner light flicked on again. I could almost say with certainty this movie and the entire story actually stopped me from giving up.

The story itself is so raw, so true.

Watching this movie has been so significant in my healing journey and the universe delivered it in perfect time. I always think of watching a movie as a present to myself, because I’m usually so busy between work and study that I just don’t have time to stop. I was craving for: “Dolce far niente – the sweetness of doing nothing.”

And towards the end of the movie we are left with another insightful quote:
“If you’re brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting and set out on a truth seeking journey either internally or externally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared most of all to face and forgive some of the most difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you.”

As I mentioned, I am currently studying and there are lots of changes ahead – including for Happiness Weekly. If you recognise any of the changes and feel my passion for Happiness Weekly is slipping – Liz said it best: “I am not checking out. I need to change.”

This is all part of my journey.

You can check out more great movie quotes about life here.

I need your help! Please?

10450603_779759202068888_5640128791927399981_nHey guys,

I know the whole purpose of Happiness Weekly is you guys come here to get help, but this week I was kind of hoping you may be able to assist me?

OK so here’s the thing…

As you know I’m trying to finish off my studies, with the goal in mind of having five positive certificates achieved by New Years Eve, and one of those is an entire new career direction and part of opening Relationship Free.

I have created a survey to form evidence for my Major Research Assessment. And I now just need as many people as I can to participate with their thoughts about relationships. I’m trying to establish if a life coach would be beneficial for someone suffering a relationship-related trauma or issue.

The survey is available here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/Y8B7W3V

And it closes on Friday, 26 September at 5pm (Sydney, Australia time). Please share it with your Facebook friends and family etc. The more people who participate, the more people I will be able to assist ultimately.

It’ll take about two minutes of your time.

BIG thank you in advance to everyone who helps me. Love makes the world go around! xx

About those leaked nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence…

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I’m OUTRAGED!

I’m so angry I can hardly even find the words to write this blog post, but I need to say something, and I apologise that I’m using this as a venting forum for this.

The leaked photos of Jennifer Lawrence and other celebrities is completely unacceptable.

Seriously – what the hell is wrong with our world?

Public figure does not mean our celebrities have no right or entitlement to a private life!

What happens if something now happens to these beautiful actresses as a result?

What if someone attacks them? Or the receive death threats or more psychopaths stalk them than what they already had? Or what if they are driven to hurt themselves because of the emotional distress this caused? I don’t see anything good coming from this…

Scarier is this: Where will the people at 4Chan get their next hit? They have our attention – so what’s next?!

What makes me even angrier is that nothing good was gained by hacking her private information and releasing those images. No one thinks 4Chan’s a hero website for this and it’d appear majority of the universe thinks Perez Hilton is an idiot for publishing it further.

 

Why do I feel so strongly?

Jennifer Lawrence, who plays Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games, kept me strong through the most challenging period of my life recently.

If it wasn’t for her in the role of Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games, I don’t think I would have been able to find the strength I did to not only help me stand up but to fight. And I’m not a crazy celebrity stalker by any means, that was just how her role touched me.

It’s as simple as that – Jennifer kept me strong simply by being her and doing her job!

I don’t care what she looks like naked!

Just in doing her job, she helped me find courage to get to a safe space to gather myself back together. Jennifer Lawrence in the role of Katniss Everdeen gave me the strength and inspiration when I needed it. And I don’t believe any other actress could’ve played the part as well as she did!

 

I’m angry because at the end of the day those nude photos did nothing for ANYONE’S happiness. All it did was hurt people and it was unnecessary!

OK – it’s happened – me getting angry won’t change it, but I have a challenge for the people who work on 4Chan…

I challenge you to apologise to these celebrities in equally massive proportions.

Find something positive that you can explode out on the internet – something that doesn’t hinder other people’s reputations and that instead is used for good, to make people smile – in such a way that no one gets hurt! Leave the celebrities to live their life, go get your own and restore our faith in humanity – turn this around!

 

Bringing down other people’s happiness to try to gain your own is unacceptable.

Nude photos or not, no one can take away Jennifer’s talent.

Keep your head held high, girl – just like you showed me! <3

 

And finally, before you do something that could hurt others, ask yourself what good is in your actions, how many people will be positively impacted as a result of your actions? If you can’t answer that question, or if your answer is that it will positively impact very few people and hurt someone in the process, I urge you to reconsider doing it – because at the end of the day the only person who will suffer is YOU. Every action has a reaction. And everyone has a conscience.

If you don’t … there’s karma.

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