Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions. Unknown
Like it or not, people make decisions that affect us every day. The government of the country, the CEO of the company you’re working for, your manager, your local council, your bus or train driver, your partner… it’s just a fact of life we’re forced to deal with. But how do you cope when you really don’t agree with the decision that has been made?
1. Think about it
Take a step back from the frustration and panic that is overcoming you and don’t react. Be open to the decision that has been made: just because it’s not your decision, or your choice in decision, does not necessarily make it wrong. Consider why you don’t agree with it, why the decision was made, why the person may have made this decision, and what benefits could come from this decision?
2. Talk about it
It’s important to communicate. Find out if the decision is final or if there is any way you could influence it with your opinion by telling the person in charge your thoughts. Once you offer your ideas, opinions and perspective, the decision maker may take it into consideration. It may also get you included in the decision making process in future – you don’t know until you try!
3. Accept the decision
Everyone has the right to make their own decisions. You don’t have to agree with the decision made, but for your own peace of mind, you need to accept it. To put your mind at ease, trust that the person making the decision is making it the best way they can, in their situation, with their experience. This person will need to accept responsibility for their decision later on, so the best thing you can do is accept their decision and support it as best you can. Start taking action to support their decision to help you to feel empowered.
Many decisions aren’t yours to make – this is a fact of life. However, you do have the opportunity to respond and can make another decision that gives you power in the situation you have found yourself in. If someone else’s decision endangers your life or is seriously against your values, the final option is this: you can stay or you can go.
The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances. Martha Washington
When applying for a job, we must all magically inherit a “can do” attitude. What on earth is that? Is that just enthusiasm? But what if you actually CAN’T do it? Are you just not meant to say anything and fake it and hope you don’t blow something up? Whatever it is, a positive attitude is vital for any successful journey.
So how do you get this positive “can do” attitude that gets you charged up and ready to tackle anything? Here are some simple tips that will help you build the attitude everyone wants, make you feel like there’s more hours in the day and give you the energy that everyone wants to be around:
Success depends heavily in believe in your ability to succeed and having a strong sense of self-worth. You can develop your self-confidence by learning and growing at every opportunity and being aware of yourself and those around you.
Be enthusiastic about life and all that it brings – including challenges! Think of it as an adventure and stay focussed on your goals to keep the motivation flowing.
Don’t put yourself down – sometimes doing it your way will be just as good as doing it any other way! Try to learn from people around you to bring yourself up to a higher level, than be jealous. What is it they do that you could copy in order to attract the same success that they have?
Revisit your achievements
List your achievements and consider how you felt when you made that achievement, find a way to achieve something again and get that feeling back. Be aware of your values, strengths and skills and also how others view you. Seek feedback as often as you can, listen to it and focus on improving where you can.
Project your image
Select positive role models and learn from what they do. Project a confident image. Remember, negativity is like a boomerang, it always comes back to you.
Watch your appearance
Take care of yourself with a flattering haircut, manicure or maintain a healthy skin care regime. Take time with your clothes and shoes. Dress professionally.
Focus on the things that are working well in your life and your strengths, rather than what is not working. Research has shown that 75-80% of daily communication is negative. Concentrate your energies on positive aspects of your life and move away from problems and fears.
Let go of the inner voice that criticises you when things don’t go well. Analyse the situation and learn from it, this will help you learn, grow and move ahead. Look at setbacks as opportunities to grow.
Step outside your comfort zone and stretch yourself to boost your confidence. Think creatively.
Learn to relax and unwind after a potentially stressful day, with challenges that have you wound up. Meditation helps get into a relaxed state quickly.
Watch what you say
Language colours experience – speak positively because it reflects on you. Take responsibility and ownership where you can. When you start saying or even thinking you can’t do something, stop and ask yourself: what would it take to change that to can do? Focus on your answer and making it happen.
Develop your mindset
Develop a problem-solving mind-set. Challenge yourself when you think you can’t and prove why you actually can.
Look for positive past experiences when you successfully solved the same or a similar sort of problem and remember what worked for you. Solve problems by playing to your strengths.
Do something different
‘If you do what you’ve always done you’ll get what you’ve always got.’ There’s always more than one way to solve a problem.
A smile not only brightens your day, but it will brighten the day of those around you. It also changes your brain chemistry and makes for a brighter day.
Use tact and diplomacy in the workplace and put any feelings of frustration, anger and disappointment aside. State facts before feelings and find ways to get jobs done even when it’s uncomfortable. The show must go on.
Set goals that drive you towards results. Focus on what you want to happen ahead, not what you’re worried will happen. Set S-M-A-R-T-E-R (specific, measureable, attainable, realistic, timely, encouraging and rewarding) goals. Concentrate on getting win-win situations.
If a conversation is going negatively, reframe it with a positive spin. Help the person seek solutions to their problems, avoid negative media and try to stay optimistic.
Fake it til you make it
Act like you are already achieving your goals, and you will rise to a higher level. Others will see you as achieving and interact with you accordingly.
Learn to let go
“Let it go and let go. Most of our problems and fears and worries and doubts come from clinging to people and objects and ideals and expectations and the need to control situations. Just let them be. You will clearly see things change just as quickly by being patient. Trust life’s flow sometimes. Don’t keep fighting it. Oh and let others shine and be right sometimes,” said news.com.au editor, Andrew Banks 2012.