Look. I have a strategy. Why expect anything? If you don’t expect anything, you don’t get disappointed. Patricia McCormick
It’s a horrible feeling when a family member, a friend or someone we think we know disappoints us. Consider this: You’ve cleared a day of your weekend to spend it with a friend. When you call to make final arrangements that morning, they have other plans. You spend the rest of the day feeling let down.
Here’s some tips on how to avoid this situation:
Be organised – make your plan early
Make a plan of what you want to do with that friend. Call them EARLY to discuss your idea and let them know you’re looking forward to it and will confirm details the day before. I suggest making a Plan B in case your original plan falls through – anything can happen at the last minute and it may be outside anyone’s control.
Make a ‘Plan B’
Plan B is very important because it’s all about you. So if you’re crushed with disappointment, you’re not at a complete loose end. Even if it’s as simple as watching a specific movie at home by yourself, taking your dog to the park or baking a cake – make Plan B all about you and select an activity that you will still look forward to.
Once you have your plan with your friend sorted, give them a call (the earlier the better) and let them know what you have in mind. Finish the call by telling that person you’re really looking forward to seeing them and you will call the day before to confirm final arrangements including your meeting time and place. That way, the person can pencil it in their calendar without knowing everything.
Call your friend the day before your engagement as you promised. Finalise all details. If plans fall through at this point, then you still have time to make other plans with another friend, so don’t let it dishearten you. If plans are going ahead, then great!
Keep ‘Plan B’ in mind
Up until the moment that you see your friend, keep Plan B in mind. This means your plans and happiness aren’t dependant on someone else and outside forces. It’s keeping you in control of the situation. Also remember that your real friends enjoy your company and will also be looking forward to your plans so will be unlikely to disappoint.
In summary – to avoid disappointment:
- Expect the best but prepare for the worst
- Make sure your goals/plans are realistic
- Live to your standards and expectations, be reliable, act with integrity
- Accept that you don’t have control over someone else or outside forces
- Avoid having any expectations
- Don’t rely on anyone or anything for your happiness
- Believe in second chances – some people are just like that – accept it
- Realise that when things don’t work out straight away, it’s not the end of the world – sometimes it can work out even better than you expected.