I hope you’re all well! Because I’m back publishing at the moment, so it currently looks as though I’m not publishing anything new while I catch up from my break as promised! Therefore, I decided to make this easier for everyone.
The blogs published this week are:
To avoid missing a post, you can subscribe to my blog and they will automatically email to you or you can follow my Happiness Weekly Facebook Page.
Have a fantastic week!
Everybody wants sunshine, nobody wants pain, but you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain. Anonymous.
Loyal followers – who don’t know me personally – may be wondering why my blogs went from full happiness focus to a focus on happiness during times of adversity. It’s like one day I woke up and while the element of happiness was still there, it went from being happy and bouncy to tackling some pretty serious issues with a theme of maintaining happiness during tough times.
Two years ago, when I started Happiness Weekly, I was a very happy person. I was also very naive. I believed that there was only good in this world. Not only that, I believed that as long as you believed that there was only good this in this world then that’s what you would attract – just like The Law of Attraction, right?
Since then I’ve learned first-hand that psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists exist. And even if you don’t want to believe it, they’re very real and they roam the planet just as a normal healthy human being. It terrifies me to not only know, but to have experienced first-hand, that some people feel empowered by making other people feel miserable.
I’m not tainted. I’m not jaded. I’m not bitter.
I’ve learned quickly to accept this.
But instead of promoting happiness as a way of life, I decided I wanted to equip people to survive times of adversity and to facilitate their happiness and assist their inner glow to shine through during these harder times.
Through surviving my own adversity, and getting back up, I finally know who I am. I stand tall. I’m confident. And I share with others from a place of confidence and sympathy.
So Happiness Weekly has evolved as I have.
My posts for the next little while will be filling in the dates I missed while I was away, as well as posting so that we’re back up to date. Each week I will try to release two posts until I’m back on schedule – I apologise if I miss a week, my priority is now on the next chapter. To stay on top of what has been released, you’re welcome to follow my blog by email, you can keep an eye on the Facebook page or you’re always welcome to contact me.
I want to leave you with this: never stop learning. Never give up. Once you think you know, you’ll discover there’s more to know.
Stay in the driver’s seat of life and keep moving forward.
I’m really excited to announce Happiness Weekly is back online! Our Facebook account is now active and we’re set to go with some very exciting news to share, new blogs, a different writing style and more!
During the break I actually received a submission for Happiness Weekly from my colleague, Craig, who saw something on the way to work one morning and it reminded him of Happiness Weekly. That afternoon he returned to the spot to take photos of it and I wanted to share the Happiness Hero’s action-packed version of events:
Pulled up my car in a side street…
Walked to the bus stop where the chair was…
When I took the photos I was standing in the middle of a bus lane – pretty wild – cars traffic…
Some chick called out “Are u a reporter?”
Well I could not resist the opportunity: “Yes I replied – I am on an assignment for “Happiness Weekly.org.”
For a minute I really thought I was a reporter – till a bus tooted me and shocked me back into reality … Doooohhh!
Have a good day!”
Here are the photos he took for us:
Thank you, Craig the Happiness Hero!
If you have a submission you would like to make to Happiness Weekly, email it to email@example.com and we’ll put it up for you or you can post it on our Facebook page and we’ll share it for you.
Happy Independence Day everybody – catch you on Monday!
The biggest turn-off for me is people who think the world of themselves. Arrogance is not a sexy quality, and it really gets on my nerves. Pixie Lott
I don’t usually follow up an article with an article on a similar topic unless they are directly related, but I had an incident that really stopped me and made me consider the difference between a confident person and an arrogant person. Have you ever seen Ten Things I Hate About You – I want to refer to the scene where the guy pulls out two identical modelling pictures of himself from his locker and asks the girl to choose her favourite one? My incident was so similar to this, it made me laugh! Yup, people can actually be like that!
So here we go … there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance and those who are arrogant miss it. If you stand back long enough to observe someone, you will see it and be able to spot the difference in someone’s behaviour.
The definitions are similar but there’s a clear distinction:
Confidence: A belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities. It’s based on self-reliance and self-assurance.
Arrogance: Having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance.
My coaching perspective on the difference between the two:
Confidence is born out of light: the inner self.
Arrogance is born out of darkness: insecurity.
These images also detail the difference well:
The second image was just something I came across on Pinterest but I think it’s still relevant:
When communicating with people, step back and ask yourself if you truly value them. If you do, your communication will naturally come from a place of confidence instead of arrogance. It is someone who is arrogant who will take us for granted. You know who I’m talking about – they’re the ones that string you along, waste your time, keep you on the line…
Ain’t nobody got time for that!
My advice if you’re getting to know someone new and you’re trying to work out if they’re confident or arrogant but you just can’t figure it out – just observe. Don’t trust – just watch. Don’t act – let it be. Be patient. Don’t cross any of your boundaries for them. A confident person will have space in their soul to encourage and support you in an ongoing capacity. An arrogant person only has selfish intentions and these will surface in time. But it needs time, because anyone can initially appear supportive. I have a five date rule. If the personality remains consistent across all five dates and they maintain the same level of healthy confidence, then ok.
If not… then consider this:
We all have a choice in every given situation. Sometimes we find ourselves stuck and even trapped – I’ve been there – but now that I am unstuck, my freedom is a priority and a very important value to me and no one will take it from me ever again. In the process, I was able to value myself more than I ever have. It’s the greatest gift I’ve ever given myself and it enabled me to rely on self-validation for all situations. This doesn’t mean I was arrogant before, it just means I wasn’t sure of who I was, so if anything – I was vulnerable and insecure. And through really hard circumstances that I had to go through, I was ultimately able to create a space that enabled me to make decisions – good decisions, healthy decisions – based on my best interests.
Eventually, I realised this: Healthy people are confident. Unhealthy people are arrogant.
Perhaps you feel your life has room for both confident and arrogant people, healthy and unhealthy people – but generally, when we pick something up, we also have to let something go to allow space for it in our life. We also have to remember that everything is energy – including us – and you need to make a conscious decision as to allow positive or negative energy into your life because we are always vibrating something and what we focus on determines how we are vibrating.
So, in my recent closet clear-out, I decided if people were confident, I wanted them in my life – but if they were found to be arrogant – I released them faster than I could bastardise a goodbye down to a good ol’ Aussie “cya”! And since then, my life has had a lot more light, because – and this is the best part of all – confident people bring their light with them and they don’t mind sharing it.
Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. Norman Vincent Peale
Have you ever noticed in celebrity interviews and on the red carpet that these people – human beings, just like us – have this amazing, shine about them? And then we look in the mirror and there we are … just little old us. No shine, no makeup, no glitz and definitely no glamour … just us. It’s magnetic! It makes you want to be around these people. So what is it that makes them glow like that all the time? This week, Happiness Weekly looks at how you can build your own celebrity confidence.
One of my favourite celebrities with the confidence I’m referring to here is Jennifer Hawkins. Even in her no-makeup selfies on Facebook, she looks amazing! Her self-confidence always seems to shine through whenever there’s a camera in sight. Even just her Facebook photos glow better than the average-jo’s.
Watch your wardrobe
Stop looking for external validation in what you decide to wear. Emma Roberts dresses only to please herself because when she feels good nothing else matters.
Sleep well and stay hydrated
Drink approximately 2L of water each day and aim for eight hours of sleep each night. Jessica Alba says stay hydrated and sleep well and what’s on the inside is really what matters.
Be as healthy as you can be
Eat well, exercise regularly and concentrate on the positive things in your life. Jennifer Hawkins says she’s most confident when she’s the healthiest she can be (eating and exercise) or wearing a great outfit that she’s comfortable in.
Be positive and believe in yourself
Maintaining a positive mental attitude is a reoccurring theme among many celebrities. Jennifer Hawkins says she tries to focus on the good things in her life while Katherine Schwarzenegger (Arnold’s oldest daughter) says “Having a positive attitude is a daily effort. Every morning, make a decision to think positively about yourself.”
Be prepared or experienced where possible
Knowing what you’re doing, being prepared or experienced enables us to approach something with confidence. Prepare yourself as much as you can and go forth with confidence.
Let’s hear it straight from the celebrities themselves. This YouTube clip is called This is where celebrities really find their confidence. Do you think you can mirror that?
Now I want to share this very empowering video with you: Meet yourself: a user’s guide to building self-esteem – Niko Everett.
How to be confident – without celebrity guidance – according to Nur
Here’s her video and some of the highlights from what she says is below:
Surround yourself with positive people
Reassess your friends. Surround yourself with the people who make you feel good. They’re happy when you’re happy, they’re supportive when you’re discouraged, they’re there when you need them … if someone in your life doesn’t make them happy, clear them out and move on.
Watch your self-talk
Take a look at your self-talk. For example, many of us use internet dating sights to meet our match these days – what are you telling yourself when you log in? Are you putting yourself down? Are you telling yourself negative things about the people you will meet? If you are – stop it or shift your talk.
Be present when you enter a room
Have your chin at least parallel to the floor and be present as you enter. Put your phone away. Sit up straight with your shoulder’s back. Be conscious of your body language.
Get comfortable on your own
Learn to be completely on your own, without your friends and get comfortable with that. Think about the last time you saw someone on their own – did you stare at them and think “What a loser?” No, probably not. So give it a try! This process will also help you in being decisive as you get to know yourself.
Genuinely say nice things
Compliment people when it’s genuine. Being authentic is critical to your confidence. Praising other people shows you’re not insecure. If it’s not genuine, don’t speak. If you have something negative to say – don’t say it, it will actually hurt your confidence.
Rely on self-validation
Accept compliments with confidence – because you already know. Take compliments and criticisms in the same way. This ensures you are responsible for your highest highs and your lowest lows. Take ownership of your happiness.
Speak with confidence
This is from Nur’s follow up video. Speak slowly, expand your vocabulary, be decisive and unashamed in your decision – delete: “I think”, “I don’t know” and “I guess” from your vocabulary, don’t be verbose in your communication – get to the point, be conscious of your tone, keep a consistent volume even when you’re getting towards the end of the point you’re trying to make, think before you speak, fake it til you make it – make a mental commitment and go for it.
Where’s the gap?
There will always be an area of weakness which really affects our confidence. It’s important to acknowledge that everyone has their own insecurities. Instead of focusing on yours as a negative, embrace them and work to strengthen them.